Thanks To My Stable

Sometimes I receive emails inquiring about “my stable of slaves.” I chuckle at the literal thought of striding out to a barn and seeing slaves in stalls waiting to be summoned. Of course that’s not how it is in reality when you are considered to be in my stable. What does it take? Read on and you’ll find out:

I think that a lack of selfishness is the first key to being a long-term slave of mine. I hear so much drivel about how, “I just want to make the Mistress happy” when it amounts to only so much BS. No, you THINK you want to make me happy because it justifies the incredible neediness you bring to the table. It’s a way for you to not feel guilty for essentially acting like a whining child at my feet begging for my attention. Those who have been serving me for 10+ years don’t deposit this mantle on my shoulders. They know that they are complicated individuals, but they don’t make me feel responsible for too much.

I have mentioned mucous in the past, and I will bring him up again. He is probably one of the more fascinating individuals I have ever met. Mucous is the guy you want to sit next to you on a long plane ride. He has the most interesting facts stored in his head that are relevant and thought-provoking. I only know small fragments of his life story, but what I know puts many others to shame. This could just be personal affinity on my part, but he really makes me go, “hmmmm” when we talk. It doesn’t matter if my toes are in his mouth or he’s screaming in agony. I KNOW he has needs but he’s not needy. He has a level of comportment that I treasure. When he says that he wants to make me happy, I believe it. He follows through. It’s not a veiled statement to get what HE wants.

There is someone else I don’t believe I have ever discussed. Slave b is another unique individual who doesn’t deposit the mantle of need on me when we meet. He is a masochist and a fetishist, which is rare. He is another complete person who has an inner strength I find rare in most individuals. I believe I’m finding some similarities in my stable here…He might have had some periods of absence, but these weren’t because he was off in a corner sucking his thumb feeling sorry for himself. When we meet it’s such an energizing experience for me. I don’t feel wrung-out mentally or like I’ve had the energy sucked out of my pores. I feel better for having had my heels dig into his thighs.

I know that many of my clients wish that they could be like slave joe. He visits me for the longest sessions I have ever had: five hours. Yes, this is five hours of straight-through SM. It sounds like too much, but you’d be surprised at how fast the time goes by. Slave joe is a very intense player, but ONCE AGAIN, he is not needy.  The catharsis he experiences is a mutual road that we both take during his sessions. He’s not taking from me, he’s sharing. I don’t feel like he’s self-absorbed or obsessed with his navel.

I would be remiss in not mentioning bernard. bernard is the only slave who knows how to make me happy without me having to say how. When bernard and I meet, there are gifts that appear that I have no idea how he guessed I wanted. Yes, he’s that good. These aren’t diamonds and furs, but small things that he knows I like BECAUSE HE LISTENS. When he says he wants to make me happy, he follows through by truly attempting to consider my needs. He’s not just “trying to get to the good stuff.” bernard understands that SM is a complicated journey that hinges on how plugged in I am at the time of our session. Sometimes we haven’t actually had dungeon time because our “pre game discussion” was enough and I didn’t have anything else left.

So where do YOU lie in this spectrum? How needy ARE you? If you pop in and see me for an hour here and there, it doesn’t really matter. Our relationship is very transactional-oriented. You show up, we play, you leave. End of story. If you SAY that you want to serve me, than maybe you should consider what you bring to the table. Do you just want someone who will talk to you like a therapist and looks good in boots and tight clothing? Is SM just your latest hobby of the month and then you’ll move onto to something else because you CAN? I give an enormous amount of my time, energy, and self into each session (no, really I do). I have also been disappointed by countless men who have said the same crap each time they have visited me. I view it as just that: so much crap, UNTIL time has passed and someone has proven that they are in it for the long haul. Sadly, most will never be able to stand the test of time because they are weak and selfish individuals who only care about themselves. I am grateful to have the stable I do. I know what THEY are made of. They make me smile while I scoff at the rest of you muddling about in your self-absorption and dishonesty.

“But Mistress, I don’t feel submissive…”

Recent experiences with a client has led me to this post. I have been veritably pent-up with feelings about this man, but in light of recent incidents–it is time to write.

Slave Frankenstein was the most recent client to suffer my ire. He has easily achieved the title of Most Clueless Man I Have Ever Met. From being too old and technologically phobic to obtain a cell phone, to his lack of understanding of what BDSM Power Exchange is all about–he really takes the cake. I decided to see him as a client since his interests were different from any one who had ever contacted me. He wanted to experience a D/S relationship within public interactions, as well as within my studio. His goal was that he wanted those who saw us to understand that I was his Mistress and he was my slave. This was to be achieved via our clothing and subtle indicators of him serving me. He also wanted to visit various public BDSM events while dressed in fetish clothing items he found to be integral to his experience.

I had a large amount of trepidation regarding his public interests as I never want to force my play onto those who have not consented to participate. After some careful negotiation, we agreed on some ways to make this situation happen with the least amount of public disruption. We would go out to dinner, to the movies and shopping all with his goal in mind. I would dress up in as much leather gear as I felt comfortable showing off to the outside world, and he would wear a collar and some other fetish clothing items under his street attire. For anyone who has ever been out with me public, they know that I don’t change my demeanor once I leave my studio. I am straight-forward, sometimes to a fault, and I conduct myself in a manner that is in a word–Dominant. I didn’t foresee there to be any issue with a positive outcome. How hard would it be to convince the public in a nice restaurant or elsewhere the a man almost 30 years my senior was serving me in some way? Hot woman + old man = something is going on and it ain’t romantic love.

Alas, despite my best efforts, Slave Frankenstein recently confessed that he has never felt submissive around me in public. I will spare the details of what else ensued after I received this response. Let’s just say that I will no longer be seeing this sad excuse of a man in my studio or elsewhere.

The reason I’m bringing this situation to light is that the word “submissive” is a loaded term that I believe is very misconstrued in my profession, as well as in the public perception of my clientele. I know that in discussions with vanilla people, my clients are thought to be simpering wimps who are spineless and pathetic. My own clients tend to couch the term either with a sense of exalted fervor or with disdain that they reserve for the unspeakable. I think that it is high time we move away from the words “submit/submissive” and find something else to use.

Let’s focus on Slave Frankenstein for instance: He said that he didn’t feel “submissive” to me while we were out in public. Really?  I was supposedly “too polite” to him while at dinner…Gee, excuse me for conducting myself in a manner becoming of a lady in a fine dining establishment. If he was expecting coarse, boorish behavior that made others point and stare–he was not going to get it. You also need to keep in mind that when dealing with the frail and elderly, I’m going to be a bit more mindful of their physical condition. I consider anyone who walks with a profound limp to be evidently frail…”Feeling submissive” to him seemed to be 100% tied to him showing off his fetish attire to the masses. I allowed him to wear his long gloves under his dinner jacket, but I was NOT about to let him remove his jacket during our dinner. It was embarrassing enough being seen with him, and to have him sit across from me in a short-sleeved shirt and long gloves was too much for my own sensibility. If you don’t feel “submissive” because you can’t show off a piece of clothing, then you are kidding yourself about what you want to explore.

My analysis of this situation is that Slave Frankenstein was ultimately a fetishist. He didn’t really WANT to treat me like I was superior to him–even in a fantasy frame of mind. He claimed to want a power exchange situation but I think he just wanted ATTENTION. His dialogue with me was profoundly unfair as he CLAIMED to want “to submit,” which was obviously a lie. If he truly wanted to do what I told him and LISTEN to what I said, he wouldn’t be in negative territory today. When I said, “No, you can not take your jacket off at dinner,” then that would have been the end of the discussion. It wasn’t grounds for argument.

You might THINK that you want “to serve” me or other Dominant Ladies, but very few are truly able to make their will be secondary to mine. That’s what it comes down to. You might be able to engage in a fantasy situation for an hour or two in my studio, but that’s the end of it for most of my clients. I get that. You come to me for a limited time experience and then we part company and go back to our lives as usual. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re into extreme pain, light cross-dressing, or fetish exploration. What counts is your level of honesty regarding the outcome you seek. The word “submission” needs to be removed from the Professional Domination dialogue in my opinion. Power exchange, will subversion or something else needs to come to the forefront for use. You don’t really like the word anyway, so why continue to use it? You enjoy the company of a beautiful woman in her fully equipped studio while she engages in limited SM activity. You want us BOTH to enjoy ourselves because we are sharing common interests. It doesn’t matter if you “feel submissive” or not. What matters is how you communicate with me in a broader context.

I am thankful that the majority of my clients are the polar opposite of Slave Frankenstein. I look forward to taking out my frustrations on you in the coming weeks!

I Want To Be Your Slave

If I had a dime for every time I heard that phrase, Donald Trump would be asking ME for loans. Now that I have branched out into the world of Social Media, I get pestered about contractual slavery on a regular basis. I’m not going to discuss the topic of long distance training here today, but rather the unrealistic expectations of those who are more local to me. To start things off I will directly quote a recent email I received:

“My deerest Queen,
It is with the utmost devotion, respect, and truthful admiration that I write to you.  After reading many of the captions on your website I am truly impressed with
many aspects but most of all your deep understanding of what it means to be a dominant female goddess!  I want to be honest and open as I possibly can in my
reason for writing to you today.  I am 33 yo, a respectful and positive gentleman who has a mostly untapped desire to TRULY serve at your feet as a devotee if that is
something you might be open to.  My urge to be under the spell of a queen is limitless (as far as I know) and am looking for a chance, an opportunity, to meet someone
such as yourself, not as a client mind you but more as a lifetime pet, if qualified. “

This guy goes on to say how he’s had a few sessions a few years ago, but it’s pretty obvious he thinks he can circumvent the client route. No, he thinks he’s in the “lifetime pet” category.

If you are reading this and you find yourself thinking the same things as this guy, I have some advice for you: DON’T BE THAT GUY.

Now you’re thinking to yourself, “Well what’s wrong with what he wrote? At least he’s being honest with you.” Yes, that’s just it. He’s letting me know that he doesn’t want to be a paying client. He just wants to some how bypass that role and head straight into “lifetime petdom.”

I have news for you guys out: I don’t want a lifetime ANYTHING. That’s why I don’t have any tattoos. I change my mind every couple of years and I can’t stand the thought of being stuck with something that I might not like in a decade or so. Next: I don’t want a frickin’ pet. I have two. They are orange and black and I don’t want anymore animals around the house. Yes, he was referring to something else and I’m getting to that.

Asking a Pro Domme to be her personal/lifetime/non-paying/all purpose soaker-upper-of-her-time is pretty audacious. You don’t know anything about her other than some pretty pictures you’ve seen on the interwebs, and some text that she (or someone else) has written. You might even have viewed some moving pictures of her on that thing we call Youtube. You, being a simple-minded man, are already in love and have made plans in your head to spend the rest of your life serving this amazing woman doing her beck and call. She, however, is not on the same page.

You are NOT a special and unique snowflake. You ARE the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. Yes, I just quoted Fight Club and that’s just one of the many things you don’t know about ME. You don’t really have any idea of who I am as a person, which is what counts the most in ANY relationship. You are just one more guy who has sent a simpering email to me begging to some how not have to pay a red cent to spend inordinate amounts of time with me….Good luck with that bro. In the immortal words of someone whom, I think is one of the lowest people on earth, you have to, “Pay up sucker.”

So now you’re mad and you think I’m all about the money. Trust me, if money were my first motivation, I would NEVER have stuck with this profession. It ranks right along with farming as far as projections for personal wealth versus amount of time and effort contributed to the endeavor. Money makes the world and MY business go round. Even more so, it helps to set you apart from every other no-job-having guy who just wants to be around me.

My advice to anyone who wants to attempt to go the “personal slave” route with an established Pro Domme is this: Skip the email litany and book a session.

Now you are saying, “But I don’t want to spend any money!”

I say, “Too bad.” Here is why you MUST spend SOMETHING in order to advance your cause:

You need to see if you have ANY chemistry with the Mistress in question. If you want to be her personal slave, then it stands to reason that you WILL BE doing some SM with her AT SOME POINT, right? Oh, that’s right. You’re different. You just want “to serve.” <Insert eye roll here> No you don’t. You SAY that to make yourself seem more GENUINE. Now, back to what I was saying before. You need to establish a number of things before you are able to make your pitch to a Pro Domme. Book a session and see how it goes.

This will enlighten you to a number of things. You will get to meet her, spend a short period of time with her, and see if you leave her studio still feeling as energized as you did when your little pecker first got hard when you saw her photos. Speaking of photos, you will also get to see first hand if she even resembles the images on her website. Lots of Mistresses don’t seem to care that their publicly viewed photos don’t look anything like them in person due to weighloss/gain, bad skin, child-birth, hair-color, 10+ years of aging, etc. You will find out about this if you book a session.

Next piece of advice: book another session. Now you’re saying, “NO WAY! I’m not spending THAT MUCH on someone with whom I JUST WANT TO SERVE.” Suit yourself…Here is what you will learn after a second session. You will find out if the first session was just a fluke. Are you still feeling all pitter patter over this Lady? Does she still look as good to you? Does she still seem so completely interesting as a few months ago? If she doesn’t, then you know that you need to move on with your search. If she DOES still seem like someone with whom you’d like to spend a lot of time…read on.

Book another session. Ok, now you’re pissed. This is getting way TOO expensive for your bank account. If you think that is truly the case, stop your search now. Pro Dommes are high maintenance women (and not how you think I mean that). If you’re too broke to worry about less than $1000 going out of your bank account, then you won’t be a good match over the long term. Most Pro Dommes have had enough of their time wasted by unemployed or underemployed potential “slaves.” They want to be around successful men who aren’t worried about spending money on a Lady. This is why you should book that third session–but there is something that you should include with this particular meeting. Politely inquire as to whether or not she will join you for a nice meal after the session. Her response will vary, but IF she agrees, then you will have your first opportunity to see how you two react to each other in public. You will get to see if she eats like a prisoner or she has good table-manners. She will get to see the same of you. Do you act like a gentleman or are you loud and boorish? Do you make the amazing faux pas of ORDERING FOR HER (that’s a whole ‘nother story though)? The most important aspect of your meeting will be IF YOU TWO HAVE ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT. Isn’t that the basis of any good relationship? How do you fill the empty spaces of time? You speak to each other. OH WAIT! That’s right! You JUST WANT TO SERVE SO CONVERSATION IS UNIMPORTANT. Right…<insert another eyeroll here> Since your long-term plan is to live in a box in the garage, you won’t ever have to exchange anything more than a muffled, “Yes Mistress, whatever you say Mistress.” You won’t ever be asked your opinion about anything because you’re just a worthless slave and nothing you say matters…I forgot about that. Moving right along…

Ok, so you have that third session and dinner goes GREAT. As a matter of fact you are even MORE smitten with her now than ever before. You race home and begin to compose a long email to her expressing your desire to become her “lifetime pet.” right?

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (say that like John McClaughlin on the McClaughlin Group)

No, you wait. You wait about a month. Work on your yard. Hit the gym a bit more (you DO go to the gym right???). If after a month you are STILL thinking about this particular Mistress THEN, and ONLY THEN, can you send her a SUCCINCT COMMUNICATION. This will consist of a polite inquiry about whether she needs any help cleaning her studio or doing any small repairs. You stress that you are NOT seeking her time for free, but that you will gladly compensate her for a fee that you two can agree upon. Yes, you still have to pay her.

She might turn down your request and say that she already has a dungeon slave. She might say that her personal slave does that. She also might say that she thinks that most men are lousy at domestic chores and she thinks that you are no different. So now what?

You are certainly entitled to communicate with her more about how you ultimately would like to serve her in a more non-session environment, but be prepared for her to not be amenable. Yes, even after all that time and money she still might say NO. However, you will NOT leave empty-handed because now you will have a PROFESSIONAL REFERENCE. Politely request that if you mention her to other Mistresses when they ask for a reference that she will say something kind about you. This will most likely happen and it is an invaluable tool in continuing your search.

You should expect to wash, rinse, and repeat this process possibly for the rest of your life. Wait. Did I just say, “FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?” Yes, I did. A personal BDSM relationship is one of THE most illusive pairings on this earth. I know men who have been spending the better part of a decade on this effort and are still searching. They are having fun in the process, but they are still ultimately alone.

If you are lucky, you will end up serving a Domina on a limited basis in her studio or MAYBE her residence cleaning and running errands for her. She most likely will never fall in love with you and will only ever view you as a slave–nothing more and nothing less. If you are able to have a relationship like this that lasts for longer than a year, consider yourself lucky. That will mean you haven’t driven her crazy and she enjoys having you around for some reason.

If you haven’t figured out the point of this post yet, then I will spell it out to you. YOU NEED TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE BEFORE YOU START TO SERVE THEM LONG TERM. You also need to figure out a  way to stand out from the already crowded field of applicants. The way to do this was outlined above.

Now there are other options that consist of contacting non-Professionals, but you’re not into that right? You think YOU are something special so you’re going to set your sights on the top of the Dominant Woman Heap. The non-Pro route will most likely yield more results over the long-term, but why should you pay any attention to what I have to say? You’re a slave and you will get what you want…

<insert eye roll here>

VQ

On Being A Slave vs. A Client of a Dominatrix

This post pertains to how I run my business and my stable. It’s not the answer for other Mistresses, so the haters can back off and accept that how I run my own show is law. Why? It’s my show, that’s why.

I get many requests via social media sites regarding perfect strangers requesting to be my slave. While I dismiss most of these requests as horny guys mashing their keyboards after they see pretty pictures of me, a few have proven themselves to be up for the challenge. One gentleman in particular has risen to the top of the heap and our discussions regarding slavery have given me yet even more insight into the topic than I already had. Due to his amazing devotion, I have granted him unprecedented access to chatting with me via Skype. During our almost daily conversations, I have made some assessments regarding those who see me for professional sessions. I believe that these two categories can help those who are considering visiting me to frame their interest.

First I will discuss those who fall into the client category. The number one distinction of these men is that they are married/partnered. They already have a significant other in their lives and therefore are just seeking an outlet for their kink interests. They don’t really have a desire to serve beyond an hourly context. Their interests are  ultimately quite selfish. I understand this and I structure our time together such that my kink needs are met as well. We don’t usually communicate much in between sessions. The phone calls and emails come in when they want to set something up, and then end quickly after a follow-up thank you. I assume that they have professional sessions with whomever whenever the opportunity arises on their business travels, etc. Our relationships are of convenience. They see me when they can. Period. End of story.

Then there are my slaves. Most of them have never asked to be my slave, but I consider them to be in that category because they have truly served me in a manner that goes above and beyond just being a client. In reviewing those who make up this distinguished category, I have noted that all of these men are single. None of them is beholden to a wife or a girlfriend. This makes perfect sense as the person with whom you have your primary emotional attachment SHOULD get the bulk of your resources and attention. For those who aren’t attached and have a profound kink desire, I fill an important niche.

Mucous is one of these slaves. He has served me for well over a decade with amazing regularity. Our sessions are punctuated with a different type of adoration than my clients are able to display. We also play without a safe word. Mucous trusts that I will use him as I see fit, but that I will not injure him permanently. He has served me in unexpected ways from sending gifts without an occasion, to volunteering to appear on a television program taping with me. Mucous has also shared with me information about his life, his interests, and his philosophy on various topics.

Slave joe is another long-term slave. He, too, is in the Decade Plus club. He has seen me over the years whenever he has been able. The sheer length of his sessions makes it apparent that he enjoys serving and suffering me far beyond what a client could do. Not many can endure for five hours at a stretch. Slave joe can, and he relishes every minute of it.

The other difference between slaves and clients is that clients aren’t held to the same level of behavior. Both types of men must respect me when in my presence, but I am understanding of the client “situation.” Circumstances beyond their control can affect when and if they can visit me. I expect my slaves to see me whenever it’s possible, and sometimes they are summoned. I know that they are only seeing me as a Mistress, and that’s the way they like it. They don’t have any interest in visiting other Pro Dommes because they have found their “home” with me. Thus, I treat them as my subjects more than my customers.

Now there are always exceptions to every rule, but for the most part these categories have held true for the duration of my career. If someone is attached/partnered and craves to be my slave, I might accept him to an increased level of devotion. I might not. The probationary period will tell all. I caution those who claim to want to become slave material because there is one grave rule that comes with serving me exclusively: if you betray me, then you are banished forever. I eventually find out about lies that have been told, and then I mete out my form of justice accordingly. To never be able to serve me again is the greatest punishment I can levy. I know that clients aren’t ever going to be exclusive and I don’t expect that from them.

VQ

In Light of The Approach of Mother’s Day

People often ask me who was the person who taught me the most about being a Dominatrix. I realize that it sounds quite trite, but I learned many of my psychological skills from my mother. The fascinating thing about her is that to the outside world she appeared to be so, “nice.” To this day, the feedback I receive about her is “your mom was always so NICE to me.” Yeah, you didn’t have to live with her…

The home was her domain. Being a 50s housewife meant that there was always SOMETHING to do around the house. I couldn’t understand why so much cleaning was on the menu when the house never looked dirty. It didn’t matter to her. Certain days of the week were allotted for specific tasks. There were also monthly tasks, as well as yearly tasks.

No matter how hard I tried, whenever I would clean something for her, it simply wasn’t a good enough effort. She would find SOMETHING amiss. If she deemed that the job I had done was truly insufficient, then I had to start all over and do it again. Eventually I was able to figure out what it was she was looking for. To this day I know of only one person who can clean according to her standards (who isn’t me).

She also taught me many a lesson on deportment, being a lady and the various do’s and dont’s of fashion. If it hadn’t been for her complete ban on black dresses and red nail polish until I was “old enough,” I don’t think that I would have had as much motivation to sport such attire. High heels were also something that I couldn’t wear until I was of a certain age.

My mother also taught classes to children of various ages. She never had a problem getting the younger kids to behave, but the teenagers were another story–especially the boys. She used to always talk about how teenage boys needed a “very special type of discipline.” Knowing that she couldn’t lay a hand on these guy meant that she had to look to other means to make them suffer for their transgressions. Insolence and “direct disobedience” were her two pet peeves. She did a great deal of reading up on how to make teenage boys behave via humiliation. One of her techniques was to make them stand in the aisle of the classroom while everyone else remained seated. I’m not sure how long she would make them do it, but it was long enough for them to be humiliated to the point of behaving in the future. I used to marvel at how some of these boys would approach her as adults and always thank her for disciplining them as she did. I would secretly hope that I could have that affect on insolent males some day.

Unfortunately not everything she had to say was of use to me. Her advice on the opposite sex for the purposes of romance and dating were WAY off. “I know from my own experience that boys and men do not like overly strong-willed women. They like to make the advances…They are supposed to be the stronger sex and I think they want it that way. If you get too forceful they often back up–if not go the other way (from a letter she sent me as a teenager).” Well fortunately for me I went completely against her advice regarding the opposite sex. Needless to say, my own techniques have served me well.

So as Mother’s Day approaches, you can think of the original Femdom in many a Dominatrix’s life: her mom.

VQ

Time To Distance Myself

I don’t know how I missed it, but the offices of Hotmovies.com were raided in the end of October. Over 100 FBI agents were present to search their location. I have to hope that this investigation was one of the last vestiges of the Bush Administration crackdown on porn.  I think the current administration has much bigger fish to fry than being the content police.

I found out about this situation via postal letter when Hotmovies contacted all of its producers about signing new contracts. Now admittedly the horse is already out of the barn, but I’m not motivated to continue doing business with them for more than legal reasons. The compensation they offered for my content just doesn’t make it worth it in the long run. Thus, if you enjoy watching my videos in a pay per minute format, you had better hurry up. Of course you can always buy a clip and have the content forever, but why would you make a smart choice like that?

VQ

A Fond Farewell To A Great Pair

I have been seeing some of my regulars for over a decade, and when one of them bids me farewell–it’s like losing a very good friend. I will miss not one but two people in this situation as the folks I’m referring to were a couple.

D & D (yes they both shared the same first initials), were some of the kinkiest people I ever had the opportunity to meet in my entire kink-career. I didn’t start off seeing both of them together though. No, I first began seeing the male part of this couple way back when. I’m think it was in 2000 or 2001. He first started visiting me for what I would term traditional SM sessions. The twist was that he was bi so there was a lot of verbal humiliation regarding what he was going to be doing with his mouth . Eventually he requested the presence of a male master in a session, which was my first time initiating such an encounter. I certainly learned a lot from that experience…

As time went on, Mr. D continued to see me solo, but then at one point he asked if his girlfriend could join us. I whole-heartedly agreed and thus began the remainder of our session experience. Ms. D was a perfect match for Mr. D. She enjoyed our time together as much as he did and was an integral participant. I had a blast orchestrating their fantasies. Then one day they let me know that their fantasy had become  a reality: they had found a third to make Mr. D a cuckhold.

Now there are LOTS of folks who dream of that type of situation, and they call me up all the time about it. Bringing the situation into reality is much trickier and takes savvy negotiation–at best. Even then thing things don’t always go as planned. D & D managed to find someone to satisfy both of their interests, and then also shared it their experience with me in session. They would visit me and tell me all about how how Ms D. was used by their “bull” while Mr. D watched and was humiliated. Who needs to watch porn when you have this to look forward to at work?

All good things must come to an end, and thus my time with D & D has concluded. They booked a session for their last night in the area recently, and it was a bittersweet time for me. I hope that they are able to find another bull in their new location, and that they come to visit again some day.

VQ

A Disappointing Event

I attended the Von Gutenberg Fetish Ball on the eve of the Folsom St Fair this year. Now mind you, I don’t really enjoy local San Francisco fetish events because frankly–they have been lame for a number of years. Ever since the gentleman known as Random stopped hosting the SLICK events, things haven’t been the same. Thus, I decided to try out the latest flavor to come to town.

The first event I attended was in July of 2009. It was the first Von Gutenberg event held at the Supper Club. I thought the attendance level was decent, and the shows were entertaining. That’s a lot coming from me since I haven’t been intrigued with a fetish event performance since the days of the Black and Blue Balls in New York. For the most part, everyone who was at the July occasion was in fetish attire, as per the dress code.

I have NO idea what has occurred since then, but Saturday night was a travesty in my opinion. The number of people I saw walking around in street clothing was appalling. It wasn’t like these folks were in suits and cocktail dresses. No, we’re talking scruffy plaid shirts and dirty jeans. I even witnessed five people from off the street allowed entry without so much as a sidelong glance at them. They were merely asked, “Do you like fetish?” and allowed inside. I don’t want to attend events with people who have no idea what BDSM or fetish clothing is all about. I have no desire for some guy who looked like he was fresh from a shoot on Jersey Shore to be next to me at the bar. Next I will discuss the “performance.”

I want the entertainment at a fetish event to have SOMETHING to do with BDSM, fetish attire, etc. Sparks flying in the air does not constitute entertainment to me. I also find it to be a fire hazard and not very appealing when viewed from a mezzanine! One guy was on a guitar mashing it so that sparks flew from new the strings as he “played” power cords over background music, while another guy mashed two grinders on metal behind him. It was like shop class gone horribly wrong. What is entertaining and unique about this kind of crap? What does it have to do with a fetish ball? The acrid smoke in the air and the thought of a spark getting lodged in rafters made me more uncomfortable than anything else. I quickly existed the upper level as I didn’t want to be stuck up there IF things went horribly wrong.

If you’re going to throw a fetish event, why is it so difficult to maintain the dress code? I discussed the event with another guest and we chuckled at how this lack of attention to detail would NEVER fly in Amsterdam. I have been to the Wasteland events, and what a difference. You would be laughed off the premises there if you showed up in a plaid shirt and jeans. Thus, until I can return to my beloved European fetish events, I will not waste my time with another paltry San Francisco attempt at a “fetish ball” at the Supper Club.

The Ever Cantankerous VQ

Ms. Callinea

Tomorrow I have a shoot with my lovely apprentice. I am going to capture some of her training on video. We’re going to start off with the simple stuff: corporal discipline.

If anyone is interested in being the “target dummy” for her, let me know. If I can capture everything on camera, then you will find the fee structure to be quite reasonable. Of course, training sessions are also available without any cameras running.

VQ

My Apprentice: Ms. Callinea

I Have An Apprentice

I have been contacted over the years by a number of women wanting to be trained by me to become a Pro Domme. I have usually found a reason to say NO to them. I didn’t find any of them to be what I considered serious enough to take under my wing. I wasn’t looking for anyone to pass my knowledge onto, but sometimes life presents you opportunities that shouldn’t be passed up.

I know so few truly reliable people in my life, that when I met someone who was punctual, articulate, and beautiful–I had to inquire as to whether she wanted to investigate my line of work. She was enthusiastic about my proposition, and since then we’ve been planning her announcement.

Her name is Ms. Callinea. She is a tall, twenty-something African American Goddess. She has participated in some informal training already, and is now available as an adjunct to my sessions. Based on whether she will simply observe or participate in client interaction will determine her tribute. Those interested in being part of her training should contact me for more information. I will be updating my site with photos of her in the coming weeks.

VQ