My upcoming visit to Antwerp in April will be tinged with sadness. I have known of “the news” since December 2016, but I kept my word to not discuss it until now. It was then that Mistress Shane informed me that she would be moving from Antwerp back to New York City. Her time in Europe was coming to an end.

I know that many of my readers don’t know of how I first came to travel to Antwerp in the first place. Why there? Why not any other city in Europe? How did my bi-annual trip come about? It seems like now is an appropriate time to share the story.

The year is 2007. I was attempting to promote my DVD business by attending various shows that featured a BDSM theme. Domcon LA and Fetishcon in Florida were two of my destinations. I had heard of the market in Europe but had no idea how to break into it with my Femdom content. I came up with an idea to bring my DVDs to the Venus Fair and entice distributors in person. I purchased my airfare, made my hotel reservation, and crafted my plans to visit Germany to ply my wares.

Unfortunately, this business that I’m in doesn’t breed the best of alliances. People who claim to be friends (for years) often turn on you when their selfish desires get the best of them. That’s what happened with my plans to attend Venus Fair. I’m giving the Reader’s Digest version of the events that transpired. I’ve told the cautionary tale of whom to trust to those who know me personally. Needless to say, I had to cancel my trip after it became apparent that my so-called friend wouldn’t be an ally during the Fair. It just didn’t seem wise to make the journey if the ONE person I was going to know was turning his back on me. I canceled my airfare and hotel reservation, but that wasn’t the end of the story. I had six months to use my ticket credit. Now what? Who did I know in Europe?

I’m usually a fairly risk-adverse person. It’s just my nature. I over-research EVERYTHING and generally don’t do crazy things in my life. I have no idea what got into me, but I decided to take a big chance. I knew of ONE PERSON in Europe. How about  I visit an almost total stranger in a strange country to work? I would travel alone. I wouldn’t know anyone locally. What could possibly go wrong? This was even riskier considering what had recently happened with my so-called friend of many years. What if my host turned out to be a “great friend” like he was and stab me in the back? How did I even know her?

I had met Mistress Shane back in 2006 at the Black and Blue Ball in NYC. I remember her being SUPER nice. She wasn’t the usual bitchy standoffish woman who I have encountered many times at BDSM events. To this day, there are countless Pro Dommes who simply stand and stare at everyone passing by them. They couldn’t be bothered with a simple, “hello”. Not Mistress Shane. She not only exchanged pleasantries, but she invited me to come stay with her and work in Antwerp. It was this brief meeting that I decided to base my trip on. Sure enough, when I emailed her about visiting, she welcomed the prospect and made the experience as seamless as possible.

Nine years later and I have more regulars in Antwerp than I do in the SF Bay Area. Mistress Shane not only turned out to be a great host, but she also became a great friend. We have gone through a lot over almost a decade of visits. We have shared the stories of our lives and torments. We have bounced ideas off of each other. We have bitched and moaned, and laughed and cried. Thanks to Mistress Shane, I am comfortable traveling solo to Europe without batting an eye. I am not only a better Dominatrix thanks to her, but I am a better person.

I will admit that I was sad in a very selfish way when Mistress Shane told me of her impending move. All I could think of was, “Where will I work? Will I be able to return to Antwerp?” I wanted to be happy for her, but it was difficult. My friend was leaving! Ever the consummate professional, she had already researched my next host after she broke the news.  I felt bad for being so self-centered. She was clearly thinking of how to help me out. We used my last visit in December to plan out my next trip and discuss her future in NYC.

Thus, I will continue to travel to Antwerp twice a year. During my next visit, April 8 – 12, I will be hosted by Mistress Morticia. She has a wonderful studio just outside of Antwerp. I am looking forward to seeing my regulars and new clients. These regulars are almost all thanks to the generosity of Mistress Shane sharing her faithful devotees with me in double sessions over the years. I’m also looking forward to visiting Mistress Shane in my favorite city in the future: New York.

Thanks Mistress Shane for helping to create  the European Chapter of my Dominatrix Career. I couldn’t have done it without you!

 

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