The title of this post was misspelled intentionally. It references a word that I use with friends of mine to indicate a type of need in certain individuals. It’s more than just the regular use of “special.” It’s almost infantile in it’s NEED to be the absolute center of attention and desire. Thus, the origin of my use of “speshul.”
I believe that I once thought I was speshul. In the early days of my Pro Domme career, I was naive beyond the pale. There wasn’t social media or even a vast band of veterans to counsel me on my silly thoughts. Only one other Mistress at the location where I worked knew how green I was. I never asked her for outright advice, but she gave it to me when she thought I needed it (thank goddess!). Despite her occasional words of wisdom, I had ideas in my head of how things were going to proceed in my career. When I saw a client for a few great sessions, it NEVER occurred to me that he would see another Pro. I mean, why? We had SUCH great sessions together, why look anywhere else? HA! I told you I was naive!! I chuckle at this sense of being speshul and unique. Of course I was totally hurt and devastated when I learned that, gasp, men have very little capacity for commitment. Yes, I’m making a blanket generalization here. There are few exceptions to the rule…but I digress.
Once I got over myself and figured that every client was just that: someone paying for a service who could see literally anyone under the sun, I was able to move forward with a clear head. Over the years, proclamations of undying fealty were made by those who “seemed” different, but you can guess that they were all mostly liars. Now I understand that they not only wanted ME to feel speshul, THEY wanted to feel speshul…
It’s a lovely idea to want to believe that the Pro Domme you are seeing puts you into a different category. That she wants to “own” you and make you “hers.” That is the epitome of being speshul. You want to be a possession. You want to be talked about and apart from the rest of the rabble you perceive that she doesn’t care about. You want to have a collar, you want to be marked, YOU WANT…Yes, it’s all about what YOU WANT.
I have two slave commandments, and a recently added third:
- How can I make my Mistress happy?
- How can I be the best slave that I can be?
The newest one is:
I am not allowed to say, “I want.”
The minute I hear this word, I need to re-educate the supplicant in front of me to change his verbiage. For those wanting to be speshul, you need to consider your use of it as well.
WHY should the Pro Domme seeing you make YOU feel speshul? I realize that you think that have done all of these things, and spent all of this money, etc. but, to quote my favorite WWE wrestler:
“IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER!
Now I’m sure that there are those reading this who will cite instances of “Mistress So-and-So’s” collared slave and HE is exclusive to her and HE is speshul. Yes, dear reader, these guys exist–but they are in the minority. I also don’t really count service under five years as being a true sign of devotion. Does anyone here remember the venerable slave james? The man who appeared in many of my videos? The one who everyone thought worshiped the ground I walked on? He made many proclamations. He wanted to be speshul. Annnndddd he didn’t last beyond five years. It’s simply too easy to SAY a bunch of fluff, but it’s not easy for a man to really buckle down and Do The Right Thing for more than five years.
This is why, if you have been seeing a Pro Domme for less than a year, and you are already discussing how you WANT TO BE HERS, it’s just you wanting to be speshul. Think of her reaction as when a child comes to a parent and says, “I want to be an astronaut when I grow up.” The parent smiles, pats the child on the head, and simply says, “Of course you do dear.” The parent understands the realities and politics of becoming a fully-fledged member of an elite group of scientists. The parent understands that even though the child can end up getting a Ph.D in astorphysics and work at U.C. Berkeley in post-doctoral research, that he/she STILL might never become an astronaut (I briefly dated someone like this). Do they encourage the child? Yes, but they know that ultimately the goal will most-likely not be reached.
So your desire to be speshul is frankly looked upon as a naive understanding of the professional relationship that exists between you and the person you are paying for her time. No, Virginia, there isn’t a Santa Claus. The professional transaction is supposed to keep things honest. It doesn’t mean that we like or honestly care about you. We, as Pro Dommes, can be INTERESTED in you and your sessions while they are happening.
I’m sure there are those reading this who feel that is a pretty harsh statement. It’s not. It’s factual. YOU HAVE TO DO THE TIME FOR ME (or any of my co-horts) TO CARE. Whom do I care about?
mucous: in service since 1999
slave joe: in service since 2000
bill: in service off and on since 2001
This is my short list of locals and is not complete whatsoever so don’t get hurt if your name wasn’t mentioned.
I know there are Pro Dommes out there who are very good actresses. They talk a good game. They toss out collars like they are available from a vending machine. They know that their clients want to feel speshul and they play up on that. Good for them! I have a very small capacity for being untrue to myself.
In closing: I can make you feel unique and paid attention to during our time together. If we mesh via our interests, we will have a good time. You will only be “just another client/sub/insert your category here” though. That status can not change until time–and lots of it has passed. Not just time, but blood, sweat, and tears. Even then, I will be dubious about your expression of commitment. Once you understand this, then we can move forward.