2020: The Year That Wasn’t

We’ve finally come to the end of one of the worst years in most of our living memory. I’m sure that the youngsters born after 9/11 were completely blind-sided more than the rest of us. My title says that the year “wasn’t” because I did not conduct my business for most of it.

The year started off normal enough. January is usually a month where I don’t travel or do many sessions. It’s slow because everyone has spent their pennies on Christmas. I plan accordingly. I am usually happy for the break.

By March, I was in Detroit. I had been following the budding pandemic in the news, and travel wasn’t considered to be “that bad” yet. I remember watching the daily briefings from my hotel suite. It quickly became apparent that this would be the last trip of the year. Sissy josephine and I shared my last professional session of 2020 during my visit. I shudder at how we dined in a restaurant and went to a bar!!! When I returned home saw how the virus was raging in Detroit, I felt like we had dodged a bullet.

When the initial Shelter In Place orders happened (literally on the day of my return), I didn’t really have a game plan. Who did? As the weeks progressed, I figured I’d try my hand at working remotely–along with the rest of the world. I’d do phone sessions, and webcam sessions, and generate solo content. It would be great! As the younger set likes to say, “Cool story bro!”

You would THINK that putting on makeup and plopping down in front of the camera to do photos and video would be super easy. In theory, yes it is. At issue is that my business model was never based on not being in physical contact with my clients. Niteflirt and other remote aspects of my work have always been an adjunct and not the primary focus. Then I figured out why I was developing such disdain for these types of venture: the lack of curation for potential clients/and quality thereof.

I’m not going to dissect each remote option here, but let me sum things up by stating that I felt like the clients in these venues were the ones calling the shots. I also wasn’t crazy about the types of contact I was receiving. Look, POV clips are not my forte. Asking me to do a webcam session where I tell you how to jerk off is frankly silly to me. You’ve had your penis for much longer than I’ve known you. You are perfectly capable of cranking one out. You don’t need my help, nor do I feel like helping. That’s just me. More power to the women who are adept at this type of thing. I also have a terrible habit of reverting to humor during serious situations. If you’ve had a session with me, you are aware of this. It works when someone is in bondage and experiencing painful situations for me to crack a joke. It’s really not so much during a solo-generated video. I guess you’d say I have a difficult time keeping a straight face. Who’d ever thought a Pro Domme would say that?

This is not to say that wonderful supplicants like sissy josephine or slave joe didn’t have some outstanding webcam time with me. They didn’t ask for anything and let me direct their actions 100%. That’s the way I like it. After over 20 years, I can be picky like this.

The other benefit of having been a Pro Domme since 1997 is that I have acquired a series of benefactors who came through in an unexpected manner! I didn’t ask for their support, but boy did they ever come through. So if you reading this, and you are in that small club, you have my heartfelt thanks. And just like you get benefits from subscribing to public television, there will be perks when I resume sessions for these generous gentlemen. No, not THOSE types of perks. Get your mind out of the gutter. As if!

This pandemic has also shown me the true colors of people who I thought were “better” than this. People I considered friends have shown the world that they are basically selfish and don’t care about their fellow humans. Time to pair the friends list down even further. I’m not sad, just disappointed.

I hope that 2021 is prosperous and less anxious for all. We still need to get through this dark winter, but it will pass. I am hoping to get the vaccine by my birthday in March. We’ll see if that is truly wishful thinking or a reality. In closing, if you are anti-vax (of any type), please don’t ever contact me. I thought you people were dumb before the pandemic. I now KNOW you are just plain old stupid.

Ever Snarky…

VQ

A Tribute To The NYC Rubber Studio

It was with great sadness and a heavy heart that I learned of the imminent closure of a New York BDSM institution. I had hoped that the studio could make it through the pandemic. It can not.

I remember when I first learned of Mistress Ariana’s space. I had been utilizing Sterling LaVey’s location in Chelsea for a few years during my annual visits. When she announced the closure of her studio, I inquired about other options in Manhattan. It was a tenuous time in New York City as a legal crackdown had closed a number of large Houses of Domination. Madame LaVey informed me that Mistress Ariana would NOT rent to me because she didn’t know me. I took her work as the truth and never reached out. It was an early lesson in don’t believe everything you hear…

I soon stopped traveling to New York as the economic downturn of 2008 made all but my international trips feasible. As time went on, I began to face my own economic situation in San Francisco. The new Tech Economy was driving commercial rents up higher and higher. I didn’t want to think of closing my studio, but I knew it might become a reality sooner rather than later. In anticipation of a Plan B, I started to travel more often. I figured that maintaining clients in other states and countries would be a good fall back plan if I didn’t have my own local space.

At the same time as I was making these future plans, I was faced with a stroke of good luck: my best friend from childhood had moved to Brooklyn! She immediately requested that I visit and stay with her while I worked. So now I had a place to say in New York, but where to work? I decided to see if now Mistress Ariana would allow me to rent from her.

She generously accommodated my request to utilize her studio while I was in town. The rest, shall we say, is history. I began to travel to New York twice a year.

What I enjoyed about the New York Rubber Studio was the sense of camaraderie and inclusiveness. I felt “at home.” Mistress Ariana always made sure that my visits went smoothly. She not only provided a space to work, but she also lent an ear. There are things that you simply can’t understand if you haven’t worked as long as we have in this industry. I welcomed her feedback and insight.

The closing of a studio is akin to the shuttering of a house of worship–be it mosque, temple, or church. SM Studios are like consecrated ground to me, because Femdom is the closest thing to a religion I practice these days. The New York Rubber Studio was very much a sacred space. It had a feeling to it of respect and deference. I welcomed that Mistress Ariana made sure to remind her renters of those who had become before them. Just as a priest will chastise an acolyte for not recognizing a bishop. She made me feel like the legend I am by reminding others of the fact. It takes one to know one! And yes, that was a very haughty statement to make, but after 20 plus years in this business, I am allowed.

Thank you to Mistress Ariana for introducing me to your space, your slaves, and clients I will never forget. You have given us all something that money can’t buy: priceless memories of kink at your space. The tales of these times will live on forever.