Tag Archive: san francisco dominatrix


Remember that post I wrote last year about how I wasn’t going to complain for once? You can refresh your memory here. Yeah…well let me tell you about how it REALLY ended up: THE PERSON IN QUESTION WAS ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE I’VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE CAREER. Yes, all caps was warranted in his description. Why am I waiting almost a year to comment? I just wanted to let the many others who have mimicked his M.O. pile up so that I’d have ample reason to COMPLAIN about them.

The whole reason why I posted that entry last year was due in no small part to Mr. I Want To Be Your Footslave. His initial criticisms of me didn’t really mean much to me as these were said at one of my foot parties and I know that sometimes people say things to establish rapport. They want to make it known that they’ve been following your writings, etc. so they make comments about their impressions. He’s not the only person to have ever mentioned how cranky I can be, so I felt it was time to say something nice. Then the reality of what a total and utter waste of my time set in…

He came on like gang-busters bearing gifts of all sorts. To be honest, that rarely happens and ya know what? I’m HUMAN. I like it when people bring me useful items off of my wishlist. Duh. This all came at a price–which it always does, sadly. He felt like he now had “the right” to tell me how to run my business. Yup. You heard me correctly. He was now suddenly an expert on my marketing, photos, and all manner of Professional Domination. He ASSURED me that IF ONLY he could BE THE ONE who took my photos, I could really BE SOMEBODY. I’m sure you can imagine the face I’m making right now. That really wasn’t what turned me off 100% completely to him though. You’d be surprised at how many men attempt to tell me how to run my business. I’m sure they’d pat me on the head at the same time if they could and say, “little lady.” No, it was when he let me know that he really wasn’t into this whole “professional session” thing. No sirree Bob! It was a “turn off” to him to come to see me at my studio. He was basically implying that he wanted to skip ahead to the front of the line and just move right in with me. You know, sleep next to the bed and all that like a REAL Mistress would have him do. Ya know, because he had already been contacted by a LESBIAN couple who were going to LOCK HIM IN A CAGE and make him STAY THERE UNTIL THEY SUMMONED HIM. Yeah, this guy was a real winner.

Whenever something like this happens, Ms. Proverbial Optimist chalks it up to any number of factors and moves on with her life and career:

“That guy really wasn’t serious.”

“That guy was a waste of my time.”

Mind you, I don’t have any expectations from “one-off” client types. They don’t usually attempt to seem like they are anything other than what they are. They want a session. They show up. I might or might not ever hear from them again. No harm. No foul. So you’re probably confused now. I keep stating that I am seeking truly submissive men who will see me on a regular basis. What was wrong with this guy just attempting to speed up the process? That’s not how it works folks. You don’t meet me on two separate occasions and expect to move in with me.

Thus, it’s the guys proclaiming to want to serve “on a regular basis” who frustrate me to no end. Have I attempted to build in a vetting process to figure out who is real? You betcha! Does it work? Not really. No matter how difficult and challenging I make the process to verify their true intentions, 98% of the time they fail. You’re probably wondering, “WHY DO YOU EVEN TRY?” Here’s why:

I’m not just kinky. I’m not just “into BDSM” like I’m into gardening. This is my Lifestyle. I BELIEVE in Femdom as a way of life. I BELIEVE that I can train men to be better.

This isn’t a seminar.

This isn’t a weekend treatment.

Where you are now you can’t imagine what the bottom will be like. (This is Your Life, Fight Club Soundtrack)

I want to see someone on an ongoing basis and watch his submission flower into something beautiful. I want him to understand the happiness in slavery. I hold out hope each time I receive an email expressing such an interest, and each time I am disappointed.

The great Angel Stern once counseled me to NEVER collar a slave again. She warned me that no matter how sincere the man might seem to be, he would panic right before the ritual were to happen and I’d never hear from him again. That it was better to merely extend the “idea” of a collaring to bring someone along, but not scare him away. The sad thing is that I’m not even talking about something as serious as a collaring. Oh no. That option ended years ago for a variety of reasons. Three wear my collar at this point in time. It would basically take the UN meeting with representatives of a foreign galaxy on live television for me to offer that option again. I’m referring to admitting to being submissive, professing exclusivity to me for a period of time, and trusting that my way is superior and right in training.

I’m sure there will be a bevy of responses to this post of the nature: “Oh Mistress, you DESERVE someone as you describe.” “Oh Mistress, I would serve you but I’m SOOO far away.” “Oh Mistress, I would love to serve you but I’m just a poor student living with my parents.” Please save it. Your platitudes mean precisely nothing. It’s all in the showing up.

You guys who live in other states and manage to show up once or twice a year aren’t being looked down upon, but let’s face it. There’s something to be said for “locally sourced submissive men.” That is whom I’m talking about. Someone I don’t have to wait for a business trip to bring around to my doorstep.

I guess I should be so lucky as to count in my service the likes of mucous and slave joe. Those who have been showing up since the early part of this century or before. Those who might not be spouting off their devotion via social media, but who make their presence known with the Gift of Their Flesh. Maybe there are only so many of their ilk to go around and I have had my allotment? I fear that I might have answered my own question regarding the caliber of submissive male applicants. I’ll keep holding out hope that there will be new applicants who will meet my expectations, but I now think it’s not going to happen.

VQ

It appears that I must explain, in excruciating detail, the new normal of booking a session with me. Since this is the same situation as most shared studios, hopefully it will help others in understanding why they can’t have last-minute flexibility with their BDSM appointment.

I am taking the bulk of my sessions at the Blackthorn dungeon now. I will be available at the Alchemy Estate, San Francisco in July, but it’s same situation there as well: There are a number of other Dominas and private individuals who utilize these spaces. We all work off of a shared calendar. This calendar is booked on a first-come, first-served basis. If you want to see me for a session, you will need to contact me two weeks in advance to have your pick of dates and times. You are welcome to wait a week out, but availability will be more limited. If you think you can book me the day before, or even 48 hours before your date and time–you will be sadly disappointed. If you book with me and then request to reschedule on the night before or the same day as your appointment, you will also be denied. There simply will not be any space on the schedule for you to have your change accommodated. I don’t know how I can be any more crystal clear on the concept. It doesn’t matter how many times you ask the same question, the answer will be inflexible due to the reality of the calendar: LAST MINUTE REQUESTS CAN NOT HAPPEN.

There also isn’t some sort of VIP or status situation going on, like with your favorite airline. I suppose you could book a last-minute suite at a five star hotel and then I MIGHT be able to see you for a schedule change, but I highly doubt anyone is going to pursue that option–especially when there is such whining and crying over tribute these days. You can’t attempt to throw more money at the situation. These calendars don’t have “hidden time slots” reserved for the equivalent of Global Services or the like. Once a time is booked, it’s booked. There aren’t any special and unique snowflakes on dungeon calendars. You might be a big-shot in your world, but you’re not in mine.

This is also why deposits must be secured in all booking with me now. Despite your best intentions to show up for an appointment, last minute problems just seem to be the rule rather than the exceptions these days. I’m terribly sorry that you are prone to your relatives dying, vehicle accidents, and quick-moving illnesses. It isn’t of my concern WHY you  must cancel or reschedule. I incur a cancellation fee when you this happens so I have to cover myself for the financial loss as well.

Hopefully this post will aid others in understanding the finer workings of professional BDSM studios. When in doubt, reread it.

VQ

 

 

 

Fan Poetry

This poem was written by a long-time fan of mine. I have received submissions like this in the past, but the quality has been, ahem, lacking. I really enjoyed this particular composition and deem it worthy to publish:

vqcross2015b

Vinyl Queen and St Andrew’s Cross.

Shadows of the faint whispers

Time and again, she rules, one would say,
Looks that thrill and words that slay;
Her dominance over your mind, body and soul,
A Sign of the shadows of faint whispers.

Her looks sneak within your frail frame,
Her high heel stilettos pierce your face;
Trampled beneath her full-weight,
You’re way too weak to resist.
While, she Cracks her whip to perfection,
You bow down at her feet in absolute submission.
A sign of the shadows of the faint whispers.

She channels the fire within you to submit,
To revel in the joy of obedience and her supreme authority you admit;
She corrects you, disciplines your wayward insolent behavior,
A stroke of her whip and the sting of her tight strong slaps
force you to beg at her feet,
When you lay there waiting by her feet, the clock ticking by the hour, for her permission.

Her tall, dominating, beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, hourglass figure,
Engulfing your entire presence;
A sure sign of the shadows of faint whispers.

Poem Courtesy of @stddevn

I recently returned from my last working trip of 2015. It’s always a pleasure to head to Antwerp. I’ve been visiting twice a year since 2008, and I have quite a few clients who see me each time I return. This is due in no small part to the tireless efforts of Mistress Shane. I used to exclusively do double sessions with her during my first stays, but now many of those clients will see me solo. She also finds me clients for us to dominate together each visit. It’s convenient that we share the same tastes in activities so I can be assured of compatibility with each new slave I encounter.

Some people return home for the holidays–I go to Antwerp. This might sound silly, but the people I encounter in the studio are like an extended family to me. Some of them have been seeing me professional since 2004. A few have visited me in the United States or other countries in the EU. Since Europe isn’t as riddled with sexual guilt as our Puritan Nation, my clients there have a different relationship with me. They share more about their lives and it’s not “weird” to them. In turn, I know that my discussions with them won’t be peppered all over social media if we should have a falling out. Speaking of social media, one client didn’t seem to know who KK was! How nice that the evil influence of that family hasn’t spread everywhere.

Another big difference between, at least Antwerp itself, and San Francisco is the lack of obsession with screens. It’s like returning to a different time walking around that city. People aren’t compulsively staring down at their phones, or checking their iPads while they eat. I got strange looks when I had to check a map on my device while strolling around. It’s also nice to not see every single child looking at a device while they are out with their parents.

Belgium isn’t perfect by any stretch, but Antwerp is a nice location to visit during the holidays. The Christmas markets, the Cathedral bathed in holiday light,2015-12-12 23.57.46 and a lack of tacky Christmas installations (inflatable yard figures disgust me) make traveling there in December good for the soul. Of course it doesn’t hurt that I’m immersed in kink for the duration of my stay. Most people attend vanilla holiday parties. I was able to visit the Femdomania Party during my stay. Mistress Shane and Mistress Morticia host an amazing  evening of Female Domination at The Fetish Cafe. A lucky slave from Paris attended the party with me. He was by my side as we witnessed male slaves serving their Dominas and prospective slaves vying for the attention of the Ladies in attendance. I was fortunate to have a fellow American to chat with. Domina M graced the event with her presence and we caught up after not having talked in many years. She shared with me that her new home base will be in Paris. How exciting! My worldly travels pale in comparison to where this lady has visited. I made sure to pick her brain and ask her all the questions I have about various locales. I’m delighted that she was more than happy to share tales of her adventures.

I missed seeing the lovely Mademoiselle de S at Femdomia, but at least I was able to share a double session with her at Mistress Shane’s. She is a true Lifestyle Domina that I met through a former client. She has participated in some of the videos I have shot while in Belgium. We are kindred spirits and I love to hear her order her slave about in french. For those who are aware of her, she IS available for double sessions with me when I visit Antwerp. I highly recommend serving a true Lifestyle European Domina. It’s an experience unlike any other.

While I enjoyed my visit immensely, I’m happy to be back in the US. I couldn’t live anywhere else. My travels only assert that the SF Bay Area is my home and probably always will be. There is a reason why everyone wants to live there!

Happy Holidays,

VQ

 

 

While I would love to update the world on my recent trip to Antwerp, I’m no fool. I know that my words will be drowned out by the drum beat of Star Wars fans populating the internet with reviews, images, etc. Thus, I’ll share a personal story from an experience about a decade ago.

I had a trip planned to New York that was to coincide with one of the “new” Star Wars movies. I don’t remember the title or the year, and frankly those details aren’t important. This was in the days before Uber and Airtrain from JFK to the subway. The economical option was a shuttle service to take me to my hotel after my flight arrived. For those who don’t know, I am one of those people who suffer from motion-sickness. I know how to mediate it, but one of the hallmarks of this malaise is yelling “shotgun” every time one gets into a multi-passenger vehicle. This doesn’t work in public places, but instead I do my utmost to sit upfront to see out the windshield. This is how I ended up directly behind the driver when I got into the van.

For those who have never had the unpleasant experience of suffering along in a hotel shuttle to Manhattan, the van starts its drop offs at one end of the island and makes its way up VERY SLOWLY. If you are staying anywhere near Midtown, it’s going to be some time before you’re out. Get ready for a long and jerky ride from hotel to hotel. You will also find yourself alone with the driver eventually. This is what happened in my situation.

As we approached Midtown, traffic came to a crawl. The driver was doing his best to take the least congested route. We ended up on a one way side street that happened to be near a theater where one of the new Star Wars movies was to premier soon. I’m a fan but I’m not a super nerd. I chuckled as we saw the various people dressed up and camping out in tents along the side of the building. I shook my head as we crept along, then eventually stopped. “WHAT NOW?” I thought as my patience was coming to an end. My journey seemed like it was never going to end.

Traffic was halted and there didn’t appear to be any reason. The light ahead was green, so what was the hold up? As I peered from behind the driver, I saw two storm troopers approaching either side of the van. It seemed like they were making up their own traffic control.GREAT. I had NO desire to be drawn into any more fan nonsense than I had already seen. Now I was getting irritated. Yes, it’s a common theme in my life.

The driver was getting frustrated as well and he wanted to figure out what was going on. He rolled down his window (remember doing that?), and looked at the approaching centurions. He started to ask them why they weren’t letting traffic through.

Now sometimes I come with a quick retort that is completely appropriate for the situation at hand. This was one of those moments. I leaned in behind the driver’s head and sternly said to the storm troopers,

“These are not the droids you’re looking for.”

The men in costume looked at each other and waved us on.There was a collective sigh of relief in the van. A few minutes later I was able to FINALLY reach my destination. Needless to say, the driver was grateful for my intervention.

And THAT is my Star Wars story folks! We will return to our regularly scheduled program of Femdom Discussion in our next episode…

VQ

 

Autumn Travels

October and November saw me visiting the Eastern Seaboard. I was in New York City and then Washington, D.C. respectively. I enjoy my travels to this part of the country because I feel totally at home there. As I love to tell people, my mother was from New York City so I was raised with “that attitude.” I might have grown up in California, but I don’t have the same laid back mindset. If anything, that drives me nuts. I am direct, to the point, and I speak my mind whether you like it or not. I have the good fortune of my best friend living in Brooklyn. Thus, I have a welcoming place to stay when I am working in New York.

This trip, I made sure to explore parts of New York City that I haven’t been to before. My best friend and I traveled to The Bronx to visit my mother’s childhood home. I don’t know much about The Bronx other than the way it’s portrayed in the media. Understanding that Oakland gets a bad rap too, I figured that The Bronx would be equally as diverse with its neighborhoods. I wasn’t disappointed.

2015-10-18 14.51.42

My best friend is quite resourceful and we ended up finding the exact address where my mother lived when she was growing up. It made sense as to why California eventually became depressing to her. She didn’t enjoy the “golden hills” in the summer and she longed for green all the time. That is one thing I don’t mind about the SF Bay Area. I enjoy the landscape and its microclimates.

We HAD to visit “the REAL Little Italy” of Arthur Avenue while were in the general area. I have to say, I was disappointed with the meal I had. So much for authentic Italian food. We both agreed that the food was subpar compared to where we usually dine in our respective areas. I guess we had the misfortune of picking an establishment that wasn’t that great–despite good reviews. Keep in mind that my best friend is of Italian extraction and lived in Italy for a period of time. She’s a good judge of Italian food. I just know what I like and this wasn’t it.

The other touristy experience of my trip was my journey to One World Trade Center. I went with a long-time client who books me for an entire day whenever I am in New York City. Each trip we explore some place new together. This time we went to the top of the tower and checked out the 360 degree view. It was impressive to say the least!

2015-10-17 15.33.31

Yes, I took this photo :).

Of course there were amazing sessions to be had, but I’ve already touched on those via Twitter and the like. If you’d like visuals and information about what went on at the NYC Rubber Studio, check out my Twitter feed.

In Part 2, I will discuss the Washington, D.C. segment of my travels…

 

As I creep ever closer to the 20 year milestone in my chosen profession, it continues to amaze me how much there is to learn. Being a Pro Domme can be an incredibly isolating position if you allow it to be. It’s really up to you to seek out networking opportunities from the appropriate peers. I stress appropriate as the operative word here.

2015 saw me interacting with some of the greats in this industry: Irene Boss, Mistress Precious, Ariana Chevalier, Mistress Tyler, Mistress Troy, and Mistress Shane. Each time I met with these women, I learned something new. These weren’t necessarily ground-breaking moments, but rather different perspectives on topics that weren’t I hadn’t considered for some time. On that note, it has become apparent that I need to update my damned blog more.

I update my social media on a regular basis. It’s easy, simple, and FUN. For those of you who don’t know, I can be found on Instagram, Twitter, and even the dreaded Facebook. Those updates don’t require lots of WORDS and that’s what seems to drive interest from my more erudite fans. Fair enough. I had never wanted to be “that Mistress” who only discusses “this is what I did in my last session.” I have a lot of other things going on in my life, so I’ll be touching on those topics. And yes, there WILL BE more complaining. My last blog post ended up being a royal crock of you know what. You subs have done a pretty terrible job of not being reliable, but so what else is new? That is a story for another day though.

Off to compile my adventures!

Fernando Berlin custom thigh highs

Vinyl Queen in her custom leather thigh high boots from Fernando Berlin.

I am fortunate that my wish list is regularly emptied by my devoted fans. Sometimes a gift is “off list” and is only communicated privately in conversation between me and a slave. Thus, the story of my new boots begins. It all started with a former Pro Domme from San Francisco: Petra Saint.

Petra had a very specific idea about how a Mistress should conduct herself. I remember her telling me that after a Lady had been in business for five years, she shouldn’t have to purchase certain pieces of fetish attire. This was now the responsibility of her slaves and clients. I took this to heart and stubbornly refused to pony up for any new boots or large leather purchases. This technique worked quite well. I have been fortunate to be gifted with everything EXCEPT custom leather ZIP thigh high boots (until now).

A decade ago, another slave and I embarked on trying to find a manufacturer for some lace-up thigh high boots. The situation ended in partial disaster when the pair that arrived were baggy around my ankles. This is such a crucial portion of the boot. I was almost in tears when I tried them on. Yes, I had sent off measurements, but the maker clearly didn’t follow them. Luckily I found a cobbler who was able to modify the boots to fit my ankles, but it felt dirty to do this. It was like they were no longer a pristine pair of footwear. I knew they had been cut and re-sewn due to a foible. There wasn’t another boot maker I could turn to so the search for THE NEXT PAIR was sidelined.

Fast forward to last year and I find myself longing for custom thigh highs again. I have the good fortune of being friends with a Lady in Belgium who is served by a supreme leather fetishist. Who better to ask about leather boot makers in Europe than he? He shared a few names with me and I started researching their reputations.

One of my personal slaves took up the cause of acquiring me the boots. This is a former client who now serves me inside and outside the dungeon. We embarked on getting my measurements accurate, sending off the photos of my legs, and then waiting for the wonderful day when the boots would arrive. The unwrapping happened in late 2014, but I have greedily kept them to myself since then (well sort of). The boots traveled with me to Germany and Belgium in April, as well as DC in May. They have received a thoroughly positive reception. It’s time for me to grace the world with more of a photo than my Easter teaser (see below). Some lucky fetishists were able to taste them as I made my way from Essen to Antwerp and beyond.

I’m simply tickled with their fit and I am already looking to what my next item from Fernando Berlin will be. There are still gaps in my Fetish Bucket List, and I intend to fill them. I highly recommend this manufacturer for their quality, service, and attention to detail.

boots, shoes, and an Easter egg

Vinyl Queen’s favorite boots and shoes in Essen, Germany during the Fetish Weekend.

I recently visited Irene Boss at her Pittsburgh location: The Compound. I admit I had a lot of trepidation before embarking on my journey. I had met Ms. Boss at varying points in my career, but I had never spent all that much time with her. I knew she had built a vast business empire, but what would it be like to work with her in person? Nerves ensued as my departure came to fruition.

I don’t want this post to be a maudlin love-fest. No one believes those anyhow. What I CAN say is that Irene Boss puts the P in Professional Dominatrix. She is a rare gem leftover from the Golden Age of Professional Domination. If you THINK you have a good business model as a Pro Domme, it most likely pails in comparison to Irene Boss. I am no stranger to this line of work and know how to do it successfully, but I felt like a kid with a lemonade stand compared to what I witnessed during my stay. It was exciting and humbling to recognize that I still had a long way to go in my career. Ms. Boss enabled me to think outside the box on a number of situations specific to being a Dominatrix. It’s not that I’m doing anything wrong, but there can be another approach on how to handle the curve-balls we encounter from time to time.

I think every business person needs this type of experience at certain points in their career. Unfortunately it’s more difficult to arrange in essentially a grey market area where it can be tough to ascertain authenticity. Yes, there is a convention we can attend to tap into the peer knowledge base, but been there, done that. Most professions have continuing education/certification programs but we Pro Dommes have to often make it up as we go along. Visiting irene Boss was exactly what I needed. It’s not like we sat down and she gave me a mini-class. I was simply able to observe her in action, which is often the only thing a skilled crafts-person needs to soak in knowledge.

Not only is Irene Boss talented but she is also the real deal. She isn’t someone who plays the part of being a Dominant Woman and then reverts to a shrinking violet after a session is over. I didn’t need to experience a fake “voice” that she would coo to her clients (VOM!). Her energy is genuine and a force to be reckoned with. What you see is what you get. I can’t say how often I’ve encountered “so-called Dominant Women” in the Scene, only to find out they simply put on a good act in front of their clients.

I am returning to San Francisco invigorated with a fresh perspective on what I bring to my work and how to do it better. Thank you Irene Boss for allowing me to experience your magnificent world. You have constructed a universe that needs to be experienced at least once in a lifetime.

VQ

patent leather pumps with stockings

Fan favorite patent leather pumps

Some of the items in my fetish wardrobe are more popular than others. The shoes pictured in this post are by far the most discussed accessory in my possession. I’d like to address their origin as well as their manufacturer so that I can reference my blog when the question arises in the future.

These patent leather pumps were a gift from a long-time fetishist I know. He decided that I simply MUST have a proper pair of pointy-toed high heels. He set out to acquire them for me, but it was no easy task to accomplish. He kept me abreast of the ordering process as time passed. The delays were one after another. At one point, a utility bill dispute threatened power to the factory where the shoes were being made. Imagine that! At this point in my career I’m not surprised as it doesn’t seem like ANYTHING you purchase in the fetish world arrives on time and without discord. Well, anything that’s unique and that you really desire, as opposed to banal good that are everywhere.

The shoes finally arrived and I was thrilled. I wear them in session on a regular basis, and they’ve done their time on the street as well. Unfortunately they are no longer available for purchase. The shop they came from was Leatherworks UK. Here is a link to their description on another site: http://www.shoebidoo.com/174-Leatherworks-UK-CLOSED-DOWN/View-details. I no longer take these shoes out on the street as I want to preserve them for as long as possible. Luckily I’ve found another manufacturer that constructs patent leather heels with a pointy toe, but that is a topic for another blog post.