A Eulogy For A Friend: Sadie Hawkins

Goddess Sadie Hawkins and Vinyl Queen, March 2018.

Getting ready for the CFNM party in March 2018.

I had taken a hiatus from posting on my blog for a variety of reasons. That break ends today as it is the only format adequate to express my feelings during the loss of a friend: Sadie Hawkins. 140 characters just won’t suffice to describe the friendship we shared.

What set Sadie apart from other Pro Dommes that I encountered in my career was her outward level of poise and aplomb. Her manners were impeccable. She conducted herself in public as one should. We would see each other in passing at certain events and she was always cordial. The difference was that her salutations didn’t seem inauthentic. She had something unique to say to each person passing. You felt good after greeting Sadie. You genuinely wanted to walk up and speak to her because the interaction would be positive.

Thus, after all these times of meeting and greeting, two years ago, Sadie took things one step further. She invited me to her studio to work and attend a CFNM party she was hosting. I am always eager to work with other Pro Dommes. This seemed like a fantastic opportunity to ply my trade and see how Sadie ran her business.

I’m not gonna lie…My first visit to see her was challenging. This had nothing to do with her, but rather her slave who decided to end their relationship within a few hours of me arriving to the studio. This was one of the most disruptive and selfish things I have ever encountered in all my years of Femdom. Sadie handled the situation with style and grace though. As is tradition, when slaves drop the ball—the Mistresses stand up and finish what was started. We don’t have slaves handle tasks because we can’t, we have them do them because we CAN. Sadie and I picked up the slack and the CFNM party was a success. More importantly, she demonstrated to me how she lived her true Femdom Lifestyle to its fullest. During our time together that weekend, we shared many idea, stories and thoughts about the past, present, and future. We discussed our vision about “how things should be.” The slave who thought she had ruined everything, had actually brought us closer together. That’s how it works when slaves think they are going to win…

Over the past two years, the visit that I had with her blossomed into a wonderful friendship. We kept in touch on a regular basis. What set Sadie apart from other people I know is that she didn’t use the lines of communication to bitch or complain all the time. She didn’t only send me texts of when something was going wrong. She didn’t only have to share drama in her life. Our primary concern was our businesses, but we seemed to know what to say outside of those circumstances. Ultimately, Sadie wanted to help. She went out of her way to contact me about things she knew I needed to know. And that brings me to the type of person that Sadie was: GOOD.

When we use the phrase GOOD PEOPLE, that describes Sadie in a nutshell. We Dominas are supposed to be haughty and selfish. Sadie was anything but that. She ran her business in a straight-up manner, but also was very active in the Lifestyle Community in her area. I witnessed her interactions with them during my last trip in March. The level of outreach and care that she demonstrated blew my mind. I don’t have enough of me to go around to behave in that manner. So yes, I guess I AM selfish. That is why Sadie’s death is such a cruel and terrible tragedy. She only ever appeared to be trying to do the right thing. Yes, I am sad for the loss of a friendship, but I grieve more for those whose lives she made better.

Death during the holiday season is never easy. My own personal story has a tale of tragedy at this time of year. It has affected my feelings about Christmas ever since. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t reasons to still celebrate what we have. Use this incredible loss of life to examine the friendships you DO have and to strengthen them. If you have been meaning to spend more time with someone—DO IT. Don’t put it off. Make that phone call. Send that text. Tell someone how much they mean to you. You might not get the opportunity tomorrow. And yes, that IS an order!

VQ

Last Post Of The Year: Detroit and Belgium

2017 has almost come to an end. I’m not going to reflect on everything that happened, but rather the last two trips of the year. First up: Detroit!

I am thankful to Mistress Mara Mayhem for introducing Detroit as a travel destination in 2017. We made a very successful trip together in April. We immediately planned to return and November was decided as the next logical time to visit. I added Troy on as a side visit, with our final days being spent in downtown Detroit.

Troy SEEMED like such a great idea, but wasn’t. I wasn’t thrilled with my hotel suite, and let’s just say interest was lackluster for my visit. Ultimately, discretion was the biggest issue. It seemed like more clients were paranoid about “being seen” by someone they knew than anything else. While it was amazing to catch up with one of my long-time fans, it ultimately wasn’t worth it. Thus Troy, I won’t be returning. The male creatures there can just make their way to downtown Detroit and be happy that I’m visiting your state.

2017-11-09-18-00-30-e1514495941916.jpgDowntown Detroit was a different story. I simply adore this part of Detroit! How can one not love all of the new construction, renovations, restaurants, etc.? Mistress Mara Mayhem and I had an amazing hotel suite that was perfectly suited for our needs. I WILL chastise the local client population for its booking behavior, though. Male creatures who had contacted me in April, once again waited until the last minute to attempt to see me. I’m not sure what the issue is with planning and BDSM, but figure it the heck out! My erosguide ad is published TWO WEEKS before I arrive at any destination. There are also ample alerts on social media and my website. I had one fan drive up from Indiana to see me. He booked as soon as my trip was announced. THAT is how you do it folks! With that said, I ultimately had a great time with those who did plan and booked to see me.

I met up with my loyal client who takes me on outings in whichever city we meet. We started off the afternoon at a few locations around the downtown area. There were appetizers at Wright and Company and then a glass of wine at the Royce Wine Bar. Next up was a Detroit Pistons game at the new arena. I managed to snap an image of their cheerleaders in hot white boots. There is something about a pair of white boots that will always intrigue me. I have never owned a true pair of stiletto white boots though. It’s not like Satin Jim is going to be calling me up any time soon though…

I’m not going to discuss our dinner destination. It was less than stellar. I believe this was a matter of growing pains on behalf of the restaurant. It’s really not fair to lambast a location early in its existence. Hopefully we will get a chance to try them out again when they are more mature in their offerings.

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The view from above San Francisco on my way to Belgium.

My last trip of the year was to Belgium. This is the bi-annual visit I have been making since 2008. This trip was more challenging than others in previous Decembers. Suddenly I had to deal with the consequences of winter weather! I expect rain in Belgium. I had never experienced snow there though. I think that many folks in various parts of the world had forgotten what cold winters were like. The past few years have been mild in the Eastern US and Europe. Not 2017! Luckily the first part of my visit in Central Antwerp was uneventful weather-wise. It was cold but I managed to keep my feet warm with the various foot rests who visited me during my stay.

I returned to my second location for the latter portion of my stay. I have been informed that clients in Belgium are not amenable to Mistresses who blog, so I will not mention her by name. This is unfortunate since I really wish I could laud her fantastic dungeon. Discretion is the better part of valor…

Despite the weather preventing some clients from making their way to see me, I managed to fill up my time in a most productive manner. Video clips, social media and my first show on CamonDemand.com made the cold days pass quickly. Luckily it only rained on my last day so I was able to have a marathon of sessions. I left the country exhausted but totally satisfied.

As for Christmas, it was outstanding as usual. It’s pretty difficult to have a lousy holiday season when I have slaves, fans, and admirers that are attentive and generous. I’m looking forward to 2018 and where my travels will take me next. As usual, check my website regularly for updated city and country dates. When in doubt, just drop me a line via email. I check it often and respond quickly.

 

London and NYC Recap

The Queen's Terminal.

The appropriate terminal for my arrival.

My October travels have come to a conclusion. It was certainly a memorable series of journeys!

I started off on October 5th to London. The purpose of this trip was to attend the Femdom Ball. I had been intrigued for some time with the concept of this event, and figured it was time to satisfy my curiosity. I had a bit of trepidation before setting out, as past experiences at London Heathrow Airport had not been efficient or pleasant during lay-overs (circa 2007). Thankfully, the process of getting to London went much more smoothly than I anticipated. Heathrow has changed significantly for the better. I was impressed with the entire process of making my way through the airport from landing, immigration, to baggage.

My faithful European travel slave, guy, was my attendant for the weekend. We have traveled to the Essen Fetish Weekend, and numerous video shoots in Belgium  in the past. He is an excellent traveling companion. I value his patience, resourcefulness, and above all humor in the face of transportation snafus. Let’s just say that our car service situation didn’t always goes as planned!

Femdom Ball Outfit

My Femdom Ball Ensemble.

The Femdom Ball itself was an interesting experience. I wore a latex top and skirt from House of Harlot. My female slave made the suggestion of choosing a color other than black. I thought that was an excellent idea and the results can be seen to the left. As for the event itself, I was fortunate to be seated next to Mistress Thick of New York. Let’s just say that we have like minds. I think our commentary kept the rest of the table entertained. One of the highlights of the evening was meeting Sardax. If you don’t know who Sardax is and you follow my blog, shame on you. Anyone who proclaims to be a follower of all things Femdom should know about his work. Sadly, one of the women at our table was completely clueless as to the man and his body of work. She was the winner of the real-time sketch with Sardax. Hopefully she has been adequately evangelized to his greatness and will become a future customer.

After the ball concluded, we made our way to Club Alice for the Rubber Cult party. Whereas the Femdom Ball was a formal event with many elaborate dresses and evening gowns, this event was simply about the rubber fetish. I saw every type of outfit imaginable! I think the latex cowboy ensemble was my favorite for originality and composition. Funnily enough, I ended up seeing some friends from the Texas Latex Party and Essen Fetish Weekend. It was nice to catch up with them.

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The VQ Restaurant in London.

I didn’t session or sight-see during my time in London. I wanted to focus on the events on my schedule. There was plenty of socialization on Saturday and I used Sunday as a day to rest and catch up on social media and the like. We ventured out to the VQ Restaurant for dinner though. I simply HAD to visit this establishment. The VQ Restaurant is part of a chain that is open 24 hours–unlike my business! Ha!

 

I left London on Monday, October 9th and headed for my favorite city in the world: New York. I was obviously missed as the week was filled with sessions. When I wasn’t working at the New York Rubber Studio and bugging Mistress Ariana Chevalier, I was catching up with friends. Mistress Shane and I had dinner mid-week and Mistress Chloe joined us at the end. There simply wasn’t enough time to do doubles with either of them, but I’m hoping that this opportunity works out during a future visit. The best doubles manifest from real Femdom friendships. I also dined with @TheBootBitch during my visit. She is a Lifestyle Femdom friend.

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The shoes modified for me by helix.

I don’t usually discuss sessions in detail that occur while I’m traveling, but this appointment was far more than “just” BDSM for pay. No, this was a life event. I say this as there are certain people in this world who have set themselves apart from the rest. The person in question goes by the handle of Helifix on social media. He not only enjoys being trampled, but he crafts BDSM toys as well. I think this is a bit of an understatement, as he has figured out a way to improve on a piece of equipment that I am notorious for using: the cockbox. He took the best parts of the cockbox–AND MADE IT PORTABLE! This device is also very visually appealing. Not only did he bring this portable cbt trampling board to the session, but he came bearing gifts. I am known for the modified high heels that Trampleguy has made for me. Helifix took it to the next level, yet again. He took a pair of “street legal” stilettos and made them into some serious “top fuel” contenders. I’m not exaggerating when I state that these shoes can’t be worn on the street. They simply can NEVER be on a floor. They can only be used on a soft surface such as flesh. Helifix and I had a great time using his cbt board and the new shoes. Like Trampleguy, he loves being recorded so I had a blast capturing video of the session. I am always fascinated to see what the ground level perspective of my trampling looks like. It just never gets old! I think it is apparent that I had a great time with helix. He is a very nice person as well as a great rug. My dream session would be where I trample him and Trampleguy at the same time.

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A Manhattan in Manhattan.

My last working day in New York was spent on the outing I make every time I come into town. I meet up with a long-time client and we traipse around shopping and checking out new sights. The end of the evening was capped off by dining at the Carlyle Hotel. We first had a cocktail at Bemelman’s Bar. Then we moved to the restaurant. I thoroughly enjoyed the atmosphere of the location and the dress code: gentleman MUST wear a jacket. After experiencing fine dining in San Francisco, where there are too many patrons who don’t seem to care about their appearance, this was a pleasant change of pace. The cuisine and service were impeccable, as I expected. The bar has certainly been raised for out next excursion in Manhattan!

I was able to have a personal day at the end of my trip. I spent it with my best friend visiting a zoo and seeing a movie. I’m going to keep the details slim on that day as I really have done on a bit too long this time. It’s time to wrap things up and move onto planning for my next stop: Detroit!