Latest Entries »

Remember that post I wrote last year about how I wasn’t going to complain for once? You can refresh your memory here. Yeah…well let me tell you about how it REALLY ended up: THE PERSON IN QUESTION WAS ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE I’VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE CAREER. Yes, all caps was warranted in his description. Why am I waiting almost a year to comment? I just wanted to let the many others who have mimicked his M.O. pile up so that I’d have ample reason to COMPLAIN about them.

The whole reason why I posted that entry last year was due in no small part to Mr. I Want To Be Your Footslave. His initial criticisms of me didn’t really mean much to me as these were said at one of my foot parties and I know that sometimes people say things to establish rapport. They want to make it known that they’ve been following your writings, etc. so they make comments about their impressions. He’s not the only person to have ever mentioned how cranky I can be, so I felt it was time to say something nice. Then the reality of what a total and utter waste of my time set in…

He came on like gang-busters bearing gifts of all sorts. To be honest, that rarely happens and ya know what? I’m HUMAN. I like it when people bring me useful items off of my wishlist. Duh. This all came at a price–which it always does, sadly. He felt like he now had “the right” to tell me how to run my business. Yup. You heard me correctly. He was now suddenly an expert on my marketing, photos, and all manner of Professional Domination. He ASSURED me that IF ONLY he could BE THE ONE who took my photos, I could really BE SOMEBODY. I’m sure you can imagine the face I’m making right now. That really wasn’t what turned me off 100% completely to him though. You’d be surprised at how many men attempt to tell me how to run my business. I’m sure they’d pat me on the head at the same time if they could and say, “little lady.” No, it was when he let me know that he really wasn’t into this whole “professional session” thing. No sirree Bob! It was a “turn off” to him to come to see me at my studio. He was basically implying that he wanted to skip ahead to the front of the line and just move right in with me. You know, sleep next to the bed and all that like a REAL Mistress would have him do. Ya know, because he had already been contacted by a LESBIAN couple who were going to LOCK HIM IN A CAGE and make him STAY THERE UNTIL THEY SUMMONED HIM. Yeah, this guy was a real winner.

Whenever something like this happens, Ms. Proverbial Optimist chalks it up to any number of factors and moves on with her life and career:

“That guy really wasn’t serious.”

“That guy was a waste of my time.”

Mind you, I don’t have any expectations from “one-off” client types. They don’t usually attempt to seem like they are anything other than what they are. They want a session. They show up. I might or might not ever hear from them again. No harm. No foul. So you’re probably confused now. I keep stating that I am seeking truly submissive men who will see me on a regular basis. What was wrong with this guy just attempting to speed up the process? That’s not how it works folks. You don’t meet me on two separate occasions and expect to move in with me.

Thus, it’s the guys proclaiming to want to serve “on a regular basis” who frustrate me to no end. Have I attempted to build in a vetting process to figure out who is real? You betcha! Does it work? Not really. No matter how difficult and challenging I make the process to verify their true intentions, 98% of the time they fail. You’re probably wondering, “WHY DO YOU EVEN TRY?” Here’s why:

I’m not just kinky. I’m not just “into BDSM” like I’m into gardening. This is my Lifestyle. I BELIEVE in Femdom as a way of life. I BELIEVE that I can train men to be better.

This isn’t a seminar.

This isn’t a weekend treatment.

Where you are now you can’t imagine what the bottom will be like. (This is Your Life, Fight Club Soundtrack)

I want to see someone on an ongoing basis and watch his submission flower into something beautiful. I want him to understand the happiness in slavery. I hold out hope each time I receive an email expressing such an interest, and each time I am disappointed.

The great Angel Stern once counseled me to NEVER collar a slave again. She warned me that no matter how sincere the man might seem to be, he would panic right before the ritual were to happen and I’d never hear from him again. That it was better to merely extend the “idea” of a collaring to bring someone along, but not scare him away. The sad thing is that I’m not even talking about something as serious as a collaring. Oh no. That option ended years ago for a variety of reasons. Three wear my collar at this point in time. It would basically take the UN meeting with representatives of a foreign galaxy on live television for me to offer that option again. I’m referring to admitting to being submissive, professing exclusivity to me for a period of time, and trusting that my way is superior and right in training.

I’m sure there will be a bevy of responses to this post of the nature: “Oh Mistress, you DESERVE someone as you describe.” “Oh Mistress, I would serve you but I’m SOOO far away.” “Oh Mistress, I would love to serve you but I’m just a poor student living with my parents.” Please save it. Your platitudes mean precisely nothing. It’s all in the showing up.

You guys who live in other states and manage to show up once or twice a year aren’t being looked down upon, but let’s face it. There’s something to be said for “locally sourced submissive men.” That is whom I’m talking about. Someone I don’t have to wait for a business trip to bring around to my doorstep.

I guess I should be so lucky as to count in my service the likes of mucous and slave joe. Those who have been showing up since the early part of this century or before. Those who might not be spouting off their devotion via social media, but who make their presence known with the Gift of Their Flesh. Maybe there are only so many of their ilk to go around and I have had my allotment? I fear that I might have answered my own question regarding the caliber of submissive male applicants. I’ll keep holding out hope that there will be new applicants who will meet my expectations, but I now think it’s not going to happen.

VQ

It appears that I must explain, in excruciating detail, the new normal of booking a session with me. Since this is the same situation as most shared studios, hopefully it will help others in understanding why they can’t have last-minute flexibility with their BDSM appointment.

I am taking the bulk of my sessions at the Blackthorn dungeon now. I will be available at the Alchemy Estate, San Francisco in July, but it’s same situation there as well: There are a number of other Dominas and private individuals who utilize these spaces. We all work off of a shared calendar. This calendar is booked on a first-come, first-served basis. If you want to see me for a session, you will need to contact me two weeks in advance to have your pick of dates and times. You are welcome to wait a week out, but availability will be more limited. If you think you can book me the day before, or even 48 hours before your date and time–you will be sadly disappointed. If you book with me and then request to reschedule on the night before or the same day as your appointment, you will also be denied. There simply will not be any space on the schedule for you to have your change accommodated. I don’t know how I can be any more crystal clear on the concept. It doesn’t matter how many times you ask the same question, the answer will be inflexible due to the reality of the calendar: LAST MINUTE REQUESTS CAN NOT HAPPEN.

There also isn’t some sort of VIP or status situation going on, like with your favorite airline. I suppose you could book a last-minute suite at a five star hotel and then I MIGHT be able to see you for a schedule change, but I highly doubt anyone is going to pursue that option–especially when there is such whining and crying over tribute these days. You can’t attempt to throw more money at the situation. These calendars don’t have “hidden time slots” reserved for the equivalent of Global Services or the like. Once a time is booked, it’s booked. There aren’t any special and unique snowflakes on dungeon calendars. You might be a big-shot in your world, but you’re not in mine.

This is also why deposits must be secured in all booking with me now. Despite your best intentions to show up for an appointment, last minute problems just seem to be the rule rather than the exceptions these days. I’m terribly sorry that you are prone to your relatives dying, vehicle accidents, and quick-moving illnesses. It isn’t of my concern WHY you  must cancel or reschedule. I incur a cancellation fee when you this happens so I have to cover myself for the financial loss as well.

Hopefully this post will aid others in understanding the finer workings of professional BDSM studios. When in doubt, reread it.

VQ

 

 

 

Lots of people make this statement to appear glib. I wish that were the case in this post. As of this weekend, my dungeon is now shut down and I will no longer be doing business at that location. Thus, I HAVE left the building.

It was certainly an interesting fourteen years. I opened my studio in 2002, flush with cash and ready to do things MY way. I had grown weary of the situation at “the place under the shoe store” and it’s lax renter policy. I wanted to have all the control over the goings on at a studio. Well I certainly got that, and I learned that it isn’t as great as I thought it would be.

I never wanted to have a location that was a revolving door of renters. I wanted a location that was as private as I could make it. As a child I never learned how to share, and I’m still pretty lousy at it as an adult. I only ever entertained a handful of renters here and there. Some situations ended disastrously and tested my ability to trust others in my field, and others helped me regain that trust. Eventually there was something that I could not battle, and that was math.

Yes, math. You can believe in something as much as you want to, but numbers tell the tale. Eventually my studio became more of a burden than a pleasant workplace. We have all heard the stories of small businesses priced out of the San Francisco commercial real estate market. Now you know another one. It is simply no longer cost-effective for me to remain at my space.

Mind you, I am NOT retiring. Far from it. I will be primarily available in Oakland at the beautiful Black Thorn studio. I am in the process of securing an SF location for business travelers who are unable to make their way across the Bay. I will also be continuing my travel schedule and plying my trade wherever I decide to land.

I would like to open another studio some day, but that is a topic I’d rather not entertain at the moment. I want to enjoy my freedom and see what the future holds before setting down roots again. The math needs to be on my side.

I want to thank those who helped to build my studio and those who recently helped to break it down. I couldn’t have done it without all of that slave labor (literally). I also want to publicly thank Mistress Yuki for being the best renter a dungeon proprietor could ever ask for. It has been a pleasure working with you and I wish you well in your future endeavors.

Thanks folks, it’s been real.

VQ

 

As Spring is upon us, my travel schedule is well under way and it’s time to update on where I’ve been and where I’m off to. For those who have very short attention spans, my next trip will be to Irene Boss’ Compound in Pittsburgh, March 17 – 20.

Burt Reynolds with Bandit car.

Burt Reynolds being interviewed at Barrett Jackson, 2016.

January found me in Scottsdale again for the Barrett Jackson Auto Auction. I make a yearly pilgrimage to this event with a long-time client. We are both big auto aficionados. We plan the trip around dining, tourist attractions, and of course The Show. If you serve me consistently throughout the years, this is the reward you are granted: traveling with me for multiple consecutive days. I have to be comfortable around you and know that you won’t act-out in public. I also need to know that you won’t drive me nuts. There has to be somewhat of a personality mesh. Traveling can be stressful, even when the goal is to have fun. I have zero-tolerance for complaining. It’s nice to know that I can walk for hours with a client and he will maintain a consistent demeanor.

A highlight of our trip was happening upon Burt Reynolds as he entered the building. I was able to snap a couple of images as he was being interviewed next to the Bandit car. I was a huge Smokey and The Bandit fan as a kid, and this fulfilled a lifelong dream to see not only one of the vehicles affiliated with the movie, but also Burt Reynolds! He doesn’t move as quickly as he used to, but he certainly hasn’t lost any of his wit and charm.

Cowboy boots and a belt buckle.

Tony Llama boots and a sterling silver buckle for Dress Like A Texan Day.

I made it to Houston in February once again. I visit Mistress Precious for business and pleasure. We work together tormenting our slaves and then have a great time afterward. She is the consummate host. We have new adventures whenever I visit. Our first session involved a repeat customer who wanted to recreate the activity in one of my videos. He was a real sport and brought in a custom CBT board that he hand-crafted at home. He also came armed with six fish hooks that he had ground smooth and polished so they could enter and exit his flesh easily. The idea was we were going to impale his scrotum with each hook and then tie them down to the board. Our lucky slave quickly realized that the folks who appear in BDSM videos are usually a breed apart. They can take A LOT more than the average person, pain-wise. Also, he had brought in a much larger hooks than was used in my video. This added a lot more pain and suffering to the equation. He was a real champ, and we were able to thoroughly pierce him with more needles after the impaling. Unfortunately, I can’t add any images from the session. They were definitely NSFW!!

I was lucky enough to visit Houston during the commencement of the Houston Rodeo activities. I love rodeos. I wasn’t able to stay in Houston long enough to attend any of the events, but I was able to strut about on Dress Like A Texan Day. I brought my old belt buckle and Tony LLama boots to fit in. Of course there were also some other very “Texan” activities to do such as eat delicious BBQ and TexMex food.

I’m looking forward to my next set of travels in March, April and May: Pittsburgh, Washington, D.C., Belgium and Domcon LA. If you’re interested in seeing me at any of these destinations, I recommend contacting me early. My regulars contact me quite early and some trips are already at least 50% booked up!

Fan Poetry

This poem was written by a long-time fan of mine. I have received submissions like this in the past, but the quality has been, ahem, lacking. I really enjoyed this particular composition and deem it worthy to publish:

vqcross2015b

Vinyl Queen and St Andrew’s Cross.

Shadows of the faint whispers

Time and again, she rules, one would say,
Looks that thrill and words that slay;
Her dominance over your mind, body and soul,
A Sign of the shadows of faint whispers.

Her looks sneak within your frail frame,
Her high heel stilettos pierce your face;
Trampled beneath her full-weight,
You’re way too weak to resist.
While, she Cracks her whip to perfection,
You bow down at her feet in absolute submission.
A sign of the shadows of the faint whispers.

She channels the fire within you to submit,
To revel in the joy of obedience and her supreme authority you admit;
She corrects you, disciplines your wayward insolent behavior,
A stroke of her whip and the sting of her tight strong slaps
force you to beg at her feet,
When you lay there waiting by her feet, the clock ticking by the hour, for her permission.

Her tall, dominating, beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, hourglass figure,
Engulfing your entire presence;
A sure sign of the shadows of faint whispers.

Poem Courtesy of @stddevn

I recently returned from my last working trip of 2015. It’s always a pleasure to head to Antwerp. I’ve been visiting twice a year since 2008, and I have quite a few clients who see me each time I return. This is due in no small part to the tireless efforts of Mistress Shane. I used to exclusively do double sessions with her during my first stays, but now many of those clients will see me solo. She also finds me clients for us to dominate together each visit. It’s convenient that we share the same tastes in activities so I can be assured of compatibility with each new slave I encounter.

Some people return home for the holidays–I go to Antwerp. This might sound silly, but the people I encounter in the studio are like an extended family to me. Some of them have been seeing me professional since 2004. A few have visited me in the United States or other countries in the EU. Since Europe isn’t as riddled with sexual guilt as our Puritan Nation, my clients there have a different relationship with me. They share more about their lives and it’s not “weird” to them. In turn, I know that my discussions with them won’t be peppered all over social media if we should have a falling out. Speaking of social media, one client didn’t seem to know who KK was! How nice that the evil influence of that family hasn’t spread everywhere.

Another big difference between, at least Antwerp itself, and San Francisco is the lack of obsession with screens. It’s like returning to a different time walking around that city. People aren’t compulsively staring down at their phones, or checking their iPads while they eat. I got strange looks when I had to check a map on my device while strolling around. It’s also nice to not see every single child looking at a device while they are out with their parents.

Belgium isn’t perfect by any stretch, but Antwerp is a nice location to visit during the holidays. The Christmas markets, the Cathedral bathed in holiday light,2015-12-12 23.57.46 and a lack of tacky Christmas installations (inflatable yard figures disgust me) make traveling there in December good for the soul. Of course it doesn’t hurt that I’m immersed in kink for the duration of my stay. Most people attend vanilla holiday parties. I was able to visit the Femdomania Party during my stay. Mistress Shane and Mistress Morticia host an amazing  evening of Female Domination at The Fetish Cafe. A lucky slave from Paris attended the party with me. He was by my side as we witnessed male slaves serving their Dominas and prospective slaves vying for the attention of the Ladies in attendance. I was fortunate to have a fellow American to chat with. Domina M graced the event with her presence and we caught up after not having talked in many years. She shared with me that her new home base will be in Paris. How exciting! My worldly travels pale in comparison to where this lady has visited. I made sure to pick her brain and ask her all the questions I have about various locales. I’m delighted that she was more than happy to share tales of her adventures.

I missed seeing the lovely Mademoiselle de S at Femdomia, but at least I was able to share a double session with her at Mistress Shane’s. She is a true Lifestyle Domina that I met through a former client. She has participated in some of the videos I have shot while in Belgium. We are kindred spirits and I love to hear her order her slave about in french. For those who are aware of her, she IS available for double sessions with me when I visit Antwerp. I highly recommend serving a true Lifestyle European Domina. It’s an experience unlike any other.

While I enjoyed my visit immensely, I’m happy to be back in the US. I couldn’t live anywhere else. My travels only assert that the SF Bay Area is my home and probably always will be. There is a reason why everyone wants to live there!

Happy Holidays,

VQ

 

 

While I would love to update the world on my recent trip to Antwerp, I’m no fool. I know that my words will be drowned out by the drum beat of Star Wars fans populating the internet with reviews, images, etc. Thus, I’ll share a personal story from an experience about a decade ago.

I had a trip planned to New York that was to coincide with one of the “new” Star Wars movies. I don’t remember the title or the year, and frankly those details aren’t important. This was in the days before Uber and Airtrain from JFK to the subway. The economical option was a shuttle service to take me to my hotel after my flight arrived. For those who don’t know, I am one of those people who suffer from motion-sickness. I know how to mediate it, but one of the hallmarks of this malaise is yelling “shotgun” every time one gets into a multi-passenger vehicle. This doesn’t work in public places, but instead I do my utmost to sit upfront to see out the windshield. This is how I ended up directly behind the driver when I got into the van.

For those who have never had the unpleasant experience of suffering along in a hotel shuttle to Manhattan, the van starts its drop offs at one end of the island and makes its way up VERY SLOWLY. If you are staying anywhere near Midtown, it’s going to be some time before you’re out. Get ready for a long and jerky ride from hotel to hotel. You will also find yourself alone with the driver eventually. This is what happened in my situation.

As we approached Midtown, traffic came to a crawl. The driver was doing his best to take the least congested route. We ended up on a one way side street that happened to be near a theater where one of the new Star Wars movies was to premier soon. I’m a fan but I’m not a super nerd. I chuckled as we saw the various people dressed up and camping out in tents along the side of the building. I shook my head as we crept along, then eventually stopped. “WHAT NOW?” I thought as my patience was coming to an end. My journey seemed like it was never going to end.

Traffic was halted and there didn’t appear to be any reason. The light ahead was green, so what was the hold up? As I peered from behind the driver, I saw two storm troopers approaching either side of the van. It seemed like they were making up their own traffic control.GREAT. I had NO desire to be drawn into any more fan nonsense than I had already seen. Now I was getting irritated. Yes, it’s a common theme in my life.

The driver was getting frustrated as well and he wanted to figure out what was going on. He rolled down his window (remember doing that?), and looked at the approaching centurions. He started to ask them why they weren’t letting traffic through.

Now sometimes I come with a quick retort that is completely appropriate for the situation at hand. This was one of those moments. I leaned in behind the driver’s head and sternly said to the storm troopers,

“These are not the droids you’re looking for.”

The men in costume looked at each other and waved us on.There was a collective sigh of relief in the van. A few minutes later I was able to FINALLY reach my destination. Needless to say, the driver was grateful for my intervention.

And THAT is my Star Wars story folks! We will return to our regularly scheduled program of Femdom Discussion in our next episode…

VQ

 

2015-11-13 20.30.56I visited Washington, D.C in November. It almost felt like New York, Part 2, as I followed up with a client I had seen with Mistress Amiko. This particular gentleman had visited me in San Francisco many years ago. We reconnected via a double session and he was kind enough to offer himself up if I needed any help while in D.C. Do you know how long I have been waiting for a chauffeur during my travels? The only time it has ever happened was with the wonderful Albert in Amsterdam. Sadly, I’m not going to entrust myself and my luggage to any random guy who offers me a ride. Thus, I have held out for someone who is trustworthy and reliable. Enter Trainee still.

I usually take the Red Eye as I prefer not to waste an entire day in the air. This means I land at an ungodly early hour and usually have time to burn before I can check in. Trainee still provided a seamless experience of airport pick up, a place to nap, as well as an outstanding lunch! I arrived at my Washington, D.C. Air Bnb location rested and content. I couldn’t have asked for better service!

The rest of the week went by in a flash. My schedule was fully-booked with doubles with Mistress Tyler. Oddly enough, two of the men we saw together had visited me during the same time period as Trainee still–1999-2001. I thoroughly enjoyed reconnecting with these folks, even though I’ll admit my memory was a bit weak remembering them. I regret that I don’t have every single client I’ve ever seen seared into my brain. Mistress Tyler and I were treated to an amazing meal at Le Diplomat with one of these gentleman. I have never done a “double Domme” dinner like that before. I highly recommend it. How often do you get to dine out with TWO beautiful women with the wit and savvy to match?

My trip would have been outstanding if I had made my way to Washington, D.C. alone, but I had the good fortune of meeting up with my friend and partner in crime NicoNicolette. She is not a Pro Domme but she is a wonderful compliment to what I offer in session. We obviously have different limit structures so this adds to the possibilities when we meet up. The doubles we have done together have been truly out of this world, as at least one lucky client can attest to! We stayed in my Air Bnb together and generally networked and shared as only two sex workers can do. Friday night we had our one evening together. We went The Hamilton for our Girls Night Out. I wanted to show NicoNicolette this amazing location. Needless to say, a good time was had by all. We walked by The White House on the way back. It was cold and windy, but always a proud moment to see the home of the POTUS within site.

Unfortunately I wasn’t able to introduce Trainee still to NicoNicollette. She had to return on a much earlier flight than mine. I was treated to another amazing experience when he came to fetch me later that morning. He took me to Trummer’s on Main for a breakfast that will go down in the record books. It was honestly the best one I’ve ever had. He really went out of his way to show me sites that he found special and unique. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience to bookend my trip. Thank you to Mistress Amiko for the training you have done. It really shows with him!

I’m back home now for a few weeks and then I’m off to Belgium. Stay tuned!

 

 

Autumn Travels

October and November saw me visiting the Eastern Seaboard. I was in New York City and then Washington, D.C. respectively. I enjoy my travels to this part of the country because I feel totally at home there. As I love to tell people, my mother was from New York City so I was raised with “that attitude.” I might have grown up in California, but I don’t have the same laid back mindset. If anything, that drives me nuts. I am direct, to the point, and I speak my mind whether you like it or not. I have the good fortune of my best friend living in Brooklyn. Thus, I have a welcoming place to stay when I am working in New York.

This trip, I made sure to explore parts of New York City that I haven’t been to before. My best friend and I traveled to The Bronx to visit my mother’s childhood home. I don’t know much about The Bronx other than the way it’s portrayed in the media. Understanding that Oakland gets a bad rap too, I figured that The Bronx would be equally as diverse with its neighborhoods. I wasn’t disappointed.

2015-10-18 14.51.42

My best friend is quite resourceful and we ended up finding the exact address where my mother lived when she was growing up. It made sense as to why California eventually became depressing to her. She didn’t enjoy the “golden hills” in the summer and she longed for green all the time. That is one thing I don’t mind about the SF Bay Area. I enjoy the landscape and its microclimates.

We HAD to visit “the REAL Little Italy” of Arthur Avenue while were in the general area. I have to say, I was disappointed with the meal I had. So much for authentic Italian food. We both agreed that the food was subpar compared to where we usually dine in our respective areas. I guess we had the misfortune of picking an establishment that wasn’t that great–despite good reviews. Keep in mind that my best friend is of Italian extraction and lived in Italy for a period of time. She’s a good judge of Italian food. I just know what I like and this wasn’t it.

The other touristy experience of my trip was my journey to One World Trade Center. I went with a long-time client who books me for an entire day whenever I am in New York City. Each trip we explore some place new together. This time we went to the top of the tower and checked out the 360 degree view. It was impressive to say the least!

2015-10-17 15.33.31

Yes, I took this photo🙂.

Of course there were amazing sessions to be had, but I’ve already touched on those via Twitter and the like. If you’d like visuals and information about what went on at the NYC Rubber Studio, check out my Twitter feed.

In Part 2, I will discuss the Washington, D.C. segment of my travels…

 

As I creep ever closer to the 20 year milestone in my chosen profession, it continues to amaze me how much there is to learn. Being a Pro Domme can be an incredibly isolating position if you allow it to be. It’s really up to you to seek out networking opportunities from the appropriate peers. I stress appropriate as the operative word here.

2015 saw me interacting with some of the greats in this industry: Irene Boss, Mistress Precious, Ariana Chevalier, Mistress Tyler, Mistress Troy, and Mistress Shane. Each time I met with these women, I learned something new. These weren’t necessarily ground-breaking moments, but rather different perspectives on topics that weren’t I hadn’t considered for some time. On that note, it has become apparent that I need to update my damned blog more.

I update my social media on a regular basis. It’s easy, simple, and FUN. For those of you who don’t know, I can be found on Instagram, Twitter, and even the dreaded Facebook. Those updates don’t require lots of WORDS and that’s what seems to drive interest from my more erudite fans. Fair enough. I had never wanted to be “that Mistress” who only discusses “this is what I did in my last session.” I have a lot of other things going on in my life, so I’ll be touching on those topics. And yes, there WILL BE more complaining. My last blog post ended up being a royal crock of you know what. You subs have done a pretty terrible job of not being reliable, but so what else is new? That is a story for another day though.

Off to compile my adventures!