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My upcoming visit to Antwerp in April will be tinged with sadness. I have known of “the news” since December 2016, but I kept my word to not discuss it until now. It was then that Mistress Shane informed me that she would be moving from Antwerp back to New York City. Her time in Europe was coming to an end.

I know that many of my readers don’t know of how I first came to travel to Antwerp in the first place. Why there? Why not any other city in Europe? How did my bi-annual trip come about? It seems like now is an appropriate time to share the story.

The year is 2007. I was attempting to promote my DVD business by attending various shows that featured a BDSM theme. Domcon LA and Fetishcon in Florida were two of my destinations. I had heard of the market in Europe but had no idea how to break into it with my Femdom content. I came up with an idea to bring my DVDs to the Venus Fair and entice distributors in person. I purchased my airfare, made my hotel reservation, and crafted my plans to visit Germany to ply my wares.

Unfortunately, this business that I’m in doesn’t breed the best of alliances. People who claim to be friends (for years) often turn on you when their selfish desires get the best of them. That’s what happened with my plans to attend Venus Fair. I’m giving the Reader’s Digest version of the events that transpired. I’ve told the cautionary tale of whom to trust to those who know me personally. Needless to say, I had to cancel my trip after it became apparent that my so-called friend wouldn’t be an ally during the Fair. It just didn’t seem wise to make the journey if the ONE person I was going to know was turning his back on me. I canceled my airfare and hotel reservation, but that wasn’t the end of the story. I had six months to use my ticket credit. Now what? Who did I know in Europe?

I’m usually a fairly risk-adverse person. It’s just my nature. I over-research EVERYTHING and generally don’t do crazy things in my life. I have no idea what got into me, but I decided to take a big chance. I knew of ONE PERSON in Europe. How about  I visit an almost total stranger in a strange country to work? I would travel alone. I wouldn’t know anyone locally. What could possibly go wrong? This was even riskier considering what had recently happened with my so-called friend of many years. What if my host turned out to be a “great friend” like he was and stab me in the back? How did I even know her?

I had met Mistress Shane back in 2006 at the Black and Blue Ball in NYC. I remember her being SUPER nice. She wasn’t the usual bitchy standoffish woman who I have encountered many times at BDSM events. To this day, there are countless Pro Dommes who simply stand and stare at everyone passing by them. They couldn’t be bothered with a simple, “hello”. Not Mistress Shane. She not only exchanged pleasantries, but she invited me to come stay with her and work in Antwerp. It was this brief meeting that I decided to base my trip on. Sure enough, when I emailed her about visiting, she welcomed the prospect and made the experience as seamless as possible.

Nine years later and I have more regulars in Antwerp than I do in the SF Bay Area. Mistress Shane not only turned out to be a great host, but she also became a great friend. We have gone through a lot over almost a decade of visits. We have shared the stories of our lives and torments. We have bounced ideas off of each other. We have bitched and moaned, and laughed and cried. Thanks to Mistress Shane, I am comfortable traveling solo to Europe without batting an eye. I am not only a better Dominatrix thanks to her, but I am a better person.

I will admit that I was sad in a very selfish way when Mistress Shane told me of her impending move. All I could think of was, “Where will I work? Will I be able to return to Antwerp?” I wanted to be happy for her, but it was difficult. My friend was leaving! Ever the consummate professional, she had already researched my next host after she broke the news.  I felt bad for being so self-centered. She was clearly thinking of how to help me out. We used my last visit in December to plan out my next trip and discuss her future in NYC.

Thus, I will continue to travel to Antwerp twice a year. During my next visit, April 8 – 12, I will be hosted by Mistress Morticia. She has a wonderful studio just outside of Antwerp. I am looking forward to seeing my regulars and new clients. These regulars are almost all thanks to the generosity of Mistress Shane sharing her faithful devotees with me in double sessions over the years. I’m also looking forward to visiting Mistress Shane in my favorite city in the future: New York.

Thanks Mistress Shane for helping to create  the European Chapter of my Dominatrix Career. I couldn’t have done it without you!

 

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Vinyl Queen and Mistress Simone

My last post discussed the “alternative facts” that are often bandied about when Pro Dommes discuss just about anything in their business in the public realm. Travel is one of them. In the spirit of transparency, I’m going to write about when things don’t necessarily go as planned while visiting a new city. But first, some background…

I upped my travel itinerary a few years ago when it became apparent that the end of the road was nigh for my studio. I wanted to lay the groundwork for visiting more cities so that once I closed the doors, my travel schedule would pick up the local slack. I had a feeling there would be obstacles to working once I was renting from someone else. I chose destinations based on travel requests from the past, and feedback from other Pro Dommes who had visited these places as well. I did my due diligence and my choices paid off. Since the past two years have seen such success in other states, I think I let the vision of own popularity cloud the reality of future travel. I didn’t do as much research, and the numbers reflected it.

My first experimental city was St. Louis, Missouri. I consider Mistress Simone to be a good friend. She has studios in Chicago and St. Louis. During my visit to her in September 2016, I discussed with her the option of visiting St. Louis. It appeared that there wasn’t a lot of competition in the area–and that seemed like a good recipe for a future visit. It never occurred to me that maybe the reason why there isn’t a gaggle of Pro Dommes somewhere is due to a lack of business. Silly huh? Did I bother to discuss with any of my peers what their travel experiences were like to this area? No. I was going to do this “all on my own” and it would be GREAT. Well, it wasn’t particularly great. It was good, but it wasn’t like going to Chicago or NYC…

Mistress Simone was the consummate hostess. I couldn’t have asked for a more welcoming experience to a city I had never visited. She shared her home and slaves with me. We were able to discuss many topics regarding business growth and reach. Unfortunately, the rest of St. Louis wasn’t as amazing. For the first time, I learned about the function that Backpage provided when visiting a city. I have been spoiled in that my fan base is large and they usually check my website for my travel dates. I don’t NEED to do a lot of advertising because “they know” when I’ll be there and book well in advance. St. Louis is not that type of town. Don’t get me wrong. My fans DID show up, but not enough. I guess Erosguide is only SO good. I don’t think many men know about it anymore since they learned to rely on Backpage.

Another error of my trip planning was not bundling in a weekend day. This was not necessarily my fault as Mistress Simone and I had to cobble together dates in between her own super busy travel schedule. There are two segments of the population who see Pro Dommes: those available on weekdays and those available on weekends. They occupy separate demographics and I effectively eliminated one. Not smart.

Will I return to St. Louis? Probably. I will do things differently next time though. If the next trip isn’t that successful, then I’ll know that I gave it my best shot but I need to go elsewhere.

Onto my Phoenix trip…

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Mistress Sadie Hawkins and Vinyl Queen

I will be the first to admit that I should have advertised differently for Phoenix. Male creatures are easily confused and I balked at having concurrent St. Louis and Phoenix Eros Ads in place. It turns out that was what I SHOULD have done. Mistress Sadie Hawkins taught me that placement in multiple cities is a great idea. Who knew? While I was visiting her, she received contact from all over the country. I took note and made sure that I will advertise for at least two weeks before EVERY trip.

I also had the notion that the bevy of men in the area for Spring Training would make a large number of potential clients available. I know. Now that I think about it, it was a pretty silly idea. Don’t get between a man and his sports allegiances. I was clouded by the past experiences of clients who have WORKED for sports teams, versus fans. If you’re in town to see your beloved team, are you REALLY going to skip out on a game or the afterparty to get your kink itch scratched? Not likely.

I didn’t expect locals to plan ahead and I was prepared for same day availability. What I wasn’t prepared for was the lack of more modern booking requests. Email wasn’t favored and voicemails weren’t left. It was back to the old-school experience of the little boy hanging up as soon as the call wasn’t answered on my end. I understand discretion but it was disappointing.

So where were all the VQ fans? Turns out they showed up at the CFNM party! Mistress Sadie Hawkins threw an amazing event. Due in no small part to her intelligent vetting, each and every guest was an enjoyable person to have in attendance. As a host of my own parties, I know this is no small feat! There is usually “that guy” who isn’t very social and participatory. This simply didn’t happen at her event. Each and every male was engaged, interactive, and VERY well-behaved. I had a fan of my Youtube channel show up, and others knew of me through my content or past exploits. I have to say it was mentally intoxicating to have a group of naked men just standing there, waiting at our beck and call!

Again, a trip isn’t always measured by its financial success. The knowledge that Mistress Sadie and I exchanged regarding our Professional and Lifestyle experiences was priceless. I learned so much from how she handles her business. She was able to educate me to some very modern techniques and methods that I had not heard of, or seen put into practice.

I know that I have a long list of NOs when it comes to my interests, and maybe that didn’t jibe with what Phoenix wants. Will I return? Yes, I’ll give it another shot, but my intent will be to attend another CFNM party. Sessions will not be the focus and I will treat my visit as a mini-vacation.

There you have it. It’s not always sunshine and roses for Pro Dommes. It would be great if we really had First Class Tickets to every destination on someone else’s dime, and five star accommodations for each and every visit. I probably didn’t make any friends with this current view “behind the curtain,” but once again–friends don’t pay my bills. I do.

With all of the bandying about of the term “fake news” these days, it got me to thinking about my profession. Unfortunately, fake news has been the norm rather than the exception since social media has taken over all of our lives. Back in the ancient days of print, there wasn’t a lot of real estate in an ad to discuss falsehoods. It was more important to have a great image, contact information, and a few areas of interest to attract attention. Even in the early days of the internet, it was more about having a clear website online than making claims of how great one was.

My how the times they have a-changed! Social media has raised the bar so that the race to stand out has changed the nature of truth. Instead of merely posting images of oneself, now everything has to come with a claim attached. There are those who claim to be THE BEST DOMINATRIX IN (fill in your city here)! There is even someone claiming to be THE BEST DOMINATRIX IN THE WORLD! Not sure where that title is bestowed. I’d love to find out. Really Ladies? The best? By who’s standard? How long have you been around? I have twenty years under my belt and I’ve never claimed to be the best at anything. Where do you get off doing it? There are qualities in this world that can be QUANTIFIED and there are those that can not be. You can not quantify the “best” of Professional Domination because there is no standard for this claim. You might be the best in your own mind, but that’s a different story…

Not only do we have those claiming to be THE BEST of a geographical area, we also have those who attempt to massage the truth with all of their other claims. Gifts are one of these areas where falsehoods tend to abound. Some might be true, and some might be false. We will never know. Did all of those amazon boxes really come to you from a slave, or did you just buy them yourself and claim otherwise? Did that car you’re claiming was a gift come from a client or your boyfriend—who is your so-called slave? I remember hearing the tales of a Pro Domme who regularly posted images of gifts from her vanilla partner and then claimed that various slaves. A wealthy partner is NOT the same as a bevy of clients. Do you see where I’m going with this? Do you get paid in lieu of tribute with items instead of cash? It’s not so impressive then now is it?

Lastly, there are the claims regarding how busy one is. “Coming to YOUR CITY soon! I WILL BE FULLY BOOKED!” No you won’t. Sorry for pulling back the curtain on this one Ladies, but we all know the nature of traveling. The reality of what you claim online and your calendar are two different things. Sometimes you get fully booked, and sometimes you don’t. You just say that you always are because it looks good. Posting your availability for Skype sessions immediately after arriving in town is a sure-fire give away that you aren’t “fully-booked.” True story…The simple math is that during any given time of the year, each city has so many Pros visiting that it’s impossible for all to be booked up due to the nature of our flakey potential clients.

I’m writing this blog post because I know it can be disheartening for newer Pro Dommes to see this crap posted via social media and wonder what they are doing wrong. How come THEY don’t get the cool gifts? How come THEY don’t have all of these clients booking them on their next trip? Take heed Ladies: It’s not all the truth. It’s difficult to maintain one’s integrity in this crazy business, but it CAN be done. Social media buzz is good, but going quiet from time to time can also breed mystery into your activities.

I know I didn’t make any friends with this post. To quote my gamer friends–/care.

VQ

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Vinyl Queen and Mistress Simone out to dinner in Chicago.

I should have updated after I returned from Chicago in September. I should have updated when I returned from New York in October. Now it’s November and I find myself at the Dulles airport with hours to kill. It’s a perfect time to update regarding my recent travels.

Fall kicked off with me visiting Chicago for my second visit ever. I had made a weekend stop back in 2008, but this trip was to be longer and for more than just one client. I had the good fortune of being treated to the services of a chauffeur and kinky ambassador or sorts. I get MANY offers such as this when I travel, but I usually turn them down. It wouldn’t be within my best interests to allow a man I had never met to fetch me from the airport. This person was referenced by a Domme friend, and she vouched for his reliability. I was thankful to not have to schlep my bags onto the train. I don’t MIND it, but after a red-eye, nothing sounds better than being driven somewhere.

I had a fabulous time working with Mistress Simone. It’s always a honor to meet someone who paved the way for other Dommes. I remember seeing her ad in Bitches With Whips before I made the decision to turn pro. She looked so cool and intimidating. If you had told me then that I would some day be working at her studio in Chicago, I never would have believed you. I also had the good fortune of participating in a double session with her. I never know if I’m going to have synergy with another Domme. You can get along perfectly well outside of the dungeon, but not be on the same page with a sub at your feet. We worked very well together and I enjoyed using her facilities immensely.

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Nothing is sacred when I visit an art museum.

It felt like Chicago had been waiting a very long time for my visit. All of the clients who came to see me had a history. They knew of my videos and were totally familiar with my work. One gentleman claimed to have been a fan since he was 25! Others gifted me generously before the trip, and one ardent supporter came all the way from Iowa. Needless to say, I will be returning in 2017.

Chicago wasn’t all work though. Mistress Simone was nice enough to take me out and show me sites that I hadn’t visited during my previous trip. We spent the afternoon at the Art Institute. I was delighted that she had my inner 12-yr old’s sense of humor. Despite serious backgrounds in art, there were lots of giggles when we strolled by the painting to the right. I guess “dick pics” aren’t just a function of the digital age?

My trip ended with a lovely steak dinner. We had worked up quite an appetite walking around earlier in the day. It was delightful to relax and enjoy an outstanding meal with a like-minded Domina.

Onto NYC…

Chicago was great, but NOTHING compares to my favorite city in the world: New York. I will remind my dear readers that I was raised by a native of New York City, and the attitude is very much alive in me. I think that is why I feel so at home whenever I return. I no longer have to deal with the blasted “laid-back” behavior from California. People walk with purpose and MOVE. It also helps that I get to stay with my best friend from childhood whenever I visit.

I find that the Eastern Seaboard clientele appreciate me in a manner befitting of my station. My long nails, fully-fashioned stockings, and leather attire are treasured and valued. I find there to be many more fetishists in New York. I also find the BDSM to be more intense than in the SF Bay Area. With that said, I always enjoy my time at The Parthenon. Mistress Ariana is another Old School Domme who has been around longer than I have. This trip we decided to get out of the dungeon and spend some social time together. We shared a lovely lunch on my first day in The Big Apple. I enjoy Ariana’s company because she is someone who isn’t too “caught up” in this business. She has a very healthy perspective on life. We share many of the same concerns and interest inside and outside the dungeon. It’s also an hoot to sit around the studio in between sessions and hold court with the younger Dommes who utilize the space. Mistress Ariana has taught them well and they all show the proper amount of deference to those who came before them. For her perspective on my visit, check out what she wrote in Her Blog.

I had encountered Mistress Ariana’s slave black pearl in the past, but this was the first time I was able to hang out with him at the studio. He possesses one of the most valuable traits a slave can have: a good sense of humor. The laughs kept coming as Mistress Ariana would intermittently torture and torment him. Yes, I find that type of thing funny folks. I like it when I see men being used for a Lady’s amusement.

NYC wasn’t all work and no play. I had a wonderful time going out and about with a client during the Saturday of my trip. We enjoy walking around Manhattan and taking in new sites every time we meet. We always cap off my visit with drinks and then dinner. We were finally able to get a reservation at Peter Luger in Brooklyn. It was definitely worth the wait.

Last, but not least: Washington, D.C…

Our Nation’s Capital is just filled to the brim with kinky goodness! I’m never disappointed when I visit. I am fortunate to be able to work with Mistress Tyler while I am in town. Some of the clients who used to see me WAY back when, at the beginning of the century, are her local regulars. Imagine that! It turns out that some of these men only made one or two trips to San Francisco on business, and never returned. Now they see me when I am in DC and everyone is happy. I share a great synergy with Tyler as well. I am truly fortunate to have Domme friends like her in the cities that I visit.

I know that there are some who are frustrated I do not advertise solo availability when I am in Washington, D.C. This is due to the lack of a rental dungeon in the area where I stay (Northwest, D.C.). I also travel on the cheap these days and no longer book hotel rooms. I lodge exclusively in “vacation rental” properties. These locations are usually studio apartments with a lot of sound transfer. They are NOT ideal for BDSM. However, there are exceptions to every rule. Thus, if you would like to see me solo during a future trip to Washington, D.C., here are your instructions:

  1. If you are interested in a fetish focused session, you have the best chance of seeing me. Foot worship and trampling are ideal for small locations such as where I stay. You will need to convince me that you are a safe and sane player before I will welcome you as a new client. References and deposits are mandatory for making me feel comfortable with seeing you solo.
  2. If you are interested in a solo BDSM session, you MUST contact me well in advance of a future trip (like NOW–I’m serious). I plan my visits to D.C very far out. If there is a credible requests for a solo BDSM session, I will procure a hotel room to see you. A larger deposit will be mandatory to insure that I’m covered due to a last minute cancellation. We will also need to negotiate regarding what types of equipment I bring with me to insure your session goals can be achieved.

If you wait until I arrive, the chances of seeing me are slim to none. It’s as simple as that.

So where am I headed to next? I will be in New Orleans for Domcon NOLA Nov. 17 – 20. That will be your last chance to see me outside of California before I head to Antwerp in Dec. Catch me if you can!

VQ

Remember that post I wrote last year about how I wasn’t going to complain for once? You can refresh your memory here. Yeah…well let me tell you about how it REALLY ended up: THE PERSON IN QUESTION WAS ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE I’VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE CAREER. Yes, all caps was warranted in his description. Why am I waiting almost a year to comment? I just wanted to let the many others who have mimicked his M.O. pile up so that I’d have ample reason to COMPLAIN about them.

The whole reason why I posted that entry last year was due in no small part to Mr. I Want To Be Your Footslave. His initial criticisms of me didn’t really mean much to me as these were said at one of my foot parties and I know that sometimes people say things to establish rapport. They want to make it known that they’ve been following your writings, etc. so they make comments about their impressions. He’s not the only person to have ever mentioned how cranky I can be, so I felt it was time to say something nice. Then the reality of what a total and utter waste of my time set in…

He came on like gang-busters bearing gifts of all sorts. To be honest, that rarely happens and ya know what? I’m HUMAN. I like it when people bring me useful items off of my wishlist. Duh. This all came at a price–which it always does, sadly. He felt like he now had “the right” to tell me how to run my business. Yup. You heard me correctly. He was now suddenly an expert on my marketing, photos, and all manner of Professional Domination. He ASSURED me that IF ONLY he could BE THE ONE who took my photos, I could really BE SOMEBODY. I’m sure you can imagine the face I’m making right now. That really wasn’t what turned me off 100% completely to him though. You’d be surprised at how many men attempt to tell me how to run my business. I’m sure they’d pat me on the head at the same time if they could and say, “little lady.” No, it was when he let me know that he really wasn’t into this whole “professional session” thing. No sirree Bob! It was a “turn off” to him to come to see me at my studio. He was basically implying that he wanted to skip ahead to the front of the line and just move right in with me. You know, sleep next to the bed and all that like a REAL Mistress would have him do. Ya know, because he had already been contacted by a LESBIAN couple who were going to LOCK HIM IN A CAGE and make him STAY THERE UNTIL THEY SUMMONED HIM. Yeah, this guy was a real winner.

Whenever something like this happens, Ms. Proverbial Optimist chalks it up to any number of factors and moves on with her life and career:

“That guy really wasn’t serious.”

“That guy was a waste of my time.”

Mind you, I don’t have any expectations from “one-off” client types. They don’t usually attempt to seem like they are anything other than what they are. They want a session. They show up. I might or might not ever hear from them again. No harm. No foul. So you’re probably confused now. I keep stating that I am seeking truly submissive men who will see me on a regular basis. What was wrong with this guy just attempting to speed up the process? That’s not how it works folks. You don’t meet me on two separate occasions and expect to move in with me.

Thus, it’s the guys proclaiming to want to serve “on a regular basis” who frustrate me to no end. Have I attempted to build in a vetting process to figure out who is real? You betcha! Does it work? Not really. No matter how difficult and challenging I make the process to verify their true intentions, 98% of the time they fail. You’re probably wondering, “WHY DO YOU EVEN TRY?” Here’s why:

I’m not just kinky. I’m not just “into BDSM” like I’m into gardening. This is my Lifestyle. I BELIEVE in Femdom as a way of life. I BELIEVE that I can train men to be better.

This isn’t a seminar.

This isn’t a weekend treatment.

Where you are now you can’t imagine what the bottom will be like. (This is Your Life, Fight Club Soundtrack)

I want to see someone on an ongoing basis and watch his submission flower into something beautiful. I want him to understand the happiness in slavery. I hold out hope each time I receive an email expressing such an interest, and each time I am disappointed.

The great Angel Stern once counseled me to NEVER collar a slave again. She warned me that no matter how sincere the man might seem to be, he would panic right before the ritual were to happen and I’d never hear from him again. That it was better to merely extend the “idea” of a collaring to bring someone along, but not scare him away. The sad thing is that I’m not even talking about something as serious as a collaring. Oh no. That option ended years ago for a variety of reasons. Three wear my collar at this point in time. It would basically take the UN meeting with representatives of a foreign galaxy on live television for me to offer that option again. I’m referring to admitting to being submissive, professing exclusivity to me for a period of time, and trusting that my way is superior and right in training.

I’m sure there will be a bevy of responses to this post of the nature: “Oh Mistress, you DESERVE someone as you describe.” “Oh Mistress, I would serve you but I’m SOOO far away.” “Oh Mistress, I would love to serve you but I’m just a poor student living with my parents.” Please save it. Your platitudes mean precisely nothing. It’s all in the showing up.

You guys who live in other states and manage to show up once or twice a year aren’t being looked down upon, but let’s face it. There’s something to be said for “locally sourced submissive men.” That is whom I’m talking about. Someone I don’t have to wait for a business trip to bring around to my doorstep.

I guess I should be so lucky as to count in my service the likes of mucous and slave joe. Those who have been showing up since the early part of this century or before. Those who might not be spouting off their devotion via social media, but who make their presence known with the Gift of Their Flesh. Maybe there are only so many of their ilk to go around and I have had my allotment? I fear that I might have answered my own question regarding the caliber of submissive male applicants. I’ll keep holding out hope that there will be new applicants who will meet my expectations, but I now think it’s not going to happen.

VQ

It appears that I must explain, in excruciating detail, the new normal of booking a session with me. Since this is the same situation as most shared studios, hopefully it will help others in understanding why they can’t have last-minute flexibility with their BDSM appointment.

I am taking the bulk of my sessions at the Blackthorn dungeon now. I will be available at the Alchemy Estate, San Francisco in July, but it’s same situation there as well: There are a number of other Dominas and private individuals who utilize these spaces. We all work off of a shared calendar. This calendar is booked on a first-come, first-served basis. If you want to see me for a session, you will need to contact me two weeks in advance to have your pick of dates and times. You are welcome to wait a week out, but availability will be more limited. If you think you can book me the day before, or even 48 hours before your date and time–you will be sadly disappointed. If you book with me and then request to reschedule on the night before or the same day as your appointment, you will also be denied. There simply will not be any space on the schedule for you to have your change accommodated. I don’t know how I can be any more crystal clear on the concept. It doesn’t matter how many times you ask the same question, the answer will be inflexible due to the reality of the calendar: LAST MINUTE REQUESTS CAN NOT HAPPEN.

There also isn’t some sort of VIP or status situation going on, like with your favorite airline. I suppose you could book a last-minute suite at a five star hotel and then I MIGHT be able to see you for a schedule change, but I highly doubt anyone is going to pursue that option–especially when there is such whining and crying over tribute these days. You can’t attempt to throw more money at the situation. These calendars don’t have “hidden time slots” reserved for the equivalent of Global Services or the like. Once a time is booked, it’s booked. There aren’t any special and unique snowflakes on dungeon calendars. You might be a big-shot in your world, but you’re not in mine.

This is also why deposits must be secured in all booking with me now. Despite your best intentions to show up for an appointment, last minute problems just seem to be the rule rather than the exceptions these days. I’m terribly sorry that you are prone to your relatives dying, vehicle accidents, and quick-moving illnesses. It isn’t of my concern WHY you  must cancel or reschedule. I incur a cancellation fee when you this happens so I have to cover myself for the financial loss as well.

Hopefully this post will aid others in understanding the finer workings of professional BDSM studios. When in doubt, reread it.

VQ

 

 

 

Lots of people make this statement to appear glib. I wish that were the case in this post. As of this weekend, my dungeon is now shut down and I will no longer be doing business at that location. Thus, I HAVE left the building.

It was certainly an interesting fourteen years. I opened my studio in 2002, flush with cash and ready to do things MY way. I had grown weary of the situation at “the place under the shoe store” and it’s lax renter policy. I wanted to have all the control over the goings on at a studio. Well I certainly got that, and I learned that it isn’t as great as I thought it would be.

I never wanted to have a location that was a revolving door of renters. I wanted a location that was as private as I could make it. As a child I never learned how to share, and I’m still pretty lousy at it as an adult. I only ever entertained a handful of renters here and there. Some situations ended disastrously and tested my ability to trust others in my field, and others helped me regain that trust. Eventually there was something that I could not battle, and that was math.

Yes, math. You can believe in something as much as you want to, but numbers tell the tale. Eventually my studio became more of a burden than a pleasant workplace. We have all heard the stories of small businesses priced out of the San Francisco commercial real estate market. Now you know another one. It is simply no longer cost-effective for me to remain at my space.

Mind you, I am NOT retiring. Far from it. I will be primarily available in Oakland at the beautiful Black Thorn studio. I am in the process of securing an SF location for business travelers who are unable to make their way across the Bay. I will also be continuing my travel schedule and plying my trade wherever I decide to land.

I would like to open another studio some day, but that is a topic I’d rather not entertain at the moment. I want to enjoy my freedom and see what the future holds before setting down roots again. The math needs to be on my side.

I want to thank those who helped to build my studio and those who recently helped to break it down. I couldn’t have done it without all of that slave labor (literally). I also want to publicly thank Mistress Yuki for being the best renter a dungeon proprietor could ever ask for. It has been a pleasure working with you and I wish you well in your future endeavors.

Thanks folks, it’s been real.

VQ

 

As Spring is upon us, my travel schedule is well under way and it’s time to update on where I’ve been and where I’m off to. For those who have very short attention spans, my next trip will be to Irene Boss’ Compound in Pittsburgh, March 17 – 20.

Burt Reynolds with Bandit car.

Burt Reynolds being interviewed at Barrett Jackson, 2016.

January found me in Scottsdale again for the Barrett Jackson Auto Auction. I make a yearly pilgrimage to this event with a long-time client. We are both big auto aficionados. We plan the trip around dining, tourist attractions, and of course The Show. If you serve me consistently throughout the years, this is the reward you are granted: traveling with me for multiple consecutive days. I have to be comfortable around you and know that you won’t act-out in public. I also need to know that you won’t drive me nuts. There has to be somewhat of a personality mesh. Traveling can be stressful, even when the goal is to have fun. I have zero-tolerance for complaining. It’s nice to know that I can walk for hours with a client and he will maintain a consistent demeanor.

A highlight of our trip was happening upon Burt Reynolds as he entered the building. I was able to snap a couple of images as he was being interviewed next to the Bandit car. I was a huge Smokey and The Bandit fan as a kid, and this fulfilled a lifelong dream to see not only one of the vehicles affiliated with the movie, but also Burt Reynolds! He doesn’t move as quickly as he used to, but he certainly hasn’t lost any of his wit and charm.

Cowboy boots and a belt buckle.

Tony Llama boots and a sterling silver buckle for Dress Like A Texan Day.

I made it to Houston in February once again. I visit Mistress Precious for business and pleasure. We work together tormenting our slaves and then have a great time afterward. She is the consummate host. We have new adventures whenever I visit. Our first session involved a repeat customer who wanted to recreate the activity in one of my videos. He was a real sport and brought in a custom CBT board that he hand-crafted at home. He also came armed with six fish hooks that he had ground smooth and polished so they could enter and exit his flesh easily. The idea was we were going to impale his scrotum with each hook and then tie them down to the board. Our lucky slave quickly realized that the folks who appear in BDSM videos are usually a breed apart. They can take A LOT more than the average person, pain-wise. Also, he had brought in a much larger hooks than was used in my video. This added a lot more pain and suffering to the equation. He was a real champ, and we were able to thoroughly pierce him with more needles after the impaling. Unfortunately, I can’t add any images from the session. They were definitely NSFW!!

I was lucky enough to visit Houston during the commencement of the Houston Rodeo activities. I love rodeos. I wasn’t able to stay in Houston long enough to attend any of the events, but I was able to strut about on Dress Like A Texan Day. I brought my old belt buckle and Tony LLama boots to fit in. Of course there were also some other very “Texan” activities to do such as eat delicious BBQ and TexMex food.

I’m looking forward to my next set of travels in March, April and May: Pittsburgh, Washington, D.C., Belgium and Domcon LA. If you’re interested in seeing me at any of these destinations, I recommend contacting me early. My regulars contact me quite early and some trips are already at least 50% booked up!

Fan Poetry

This poem was written by a long-time fan of mine. I have received submissions like this in the past, but the quality has been, ahem, lacking. I really enjoyed this particular composition and deem it worthy to publish:

vqcross2015b

Vinyl Queen and St Andrew’s Cross.

Shadows of the faint whispers

Time and again, she rules, one would say,
Looks that thrill and words that slay;
Her dominance over your mind, body and soul,
A Sign of the shadows of faint whispers.

Her looks sneak within your frail frame,
Her high heel stilettos pierce your face;
Trampled beneath her full-weight,
You’re way too weak to resist.
While, she Cracks her whip to perfection,
You bow down at her feet in absolute submission.
A sign of the shadows of the faint whispers.

She channels the fire within you to submit,
To revel in the joy of obedience and her supreme authority you admit;
She corrects you, disciplines your wayward insolent behavior,
A stroke of her whip and the sting of her tight strong slaps
force you to beg at her feet,
When you lay there waiting by her feet, the clock ticking by the hour, for her permission.

Her tall, dominating, beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, hourglass figure,
Engulfing your entire presence;
A sure sign of the shadows of faint whispers.

Poem Courtesy of @stddevn

I recently returned from my last working trip of 2015. It’s always a pleasure to head to Antwerp. I’ve been visiting twice a year since 2008, and I have quite a few clients who see me each time I return. This is due in no small part to the tireless efforts of Mistress Shane. I used to exclusively do double sessions with her during my first stays, but now many of those clients will see me solo. She also finds me clients for us to dominate together each visit. It’s convenient that we share the same tastes in activities so I can be assured of compatibility with each new slave I encounter.

Some people return home for the holidays–I go to Antwerp. This might sound silly, but the people I encounter in the studio are like an extended family to me. Some of them have been seeing me professional since 2004. A few have visited me in the United States or other countries in the EU. Since Europe isn’t as riddled with sexual guilt as our Puritan Nation, my clients there have a different relationship with me. They share more about their lives and it’s not “weird” to them. In turn, I know that my discussions with them won’t be peppered all over social media if we should have a falling out. Speaking of social media, one client didn’t seem to know who KK was! How nice that the evil influence of that family hasn’t spread everywhere.

Another big difference between, at least Antwerp itself, and San Francisco is the lack of obsession with screens. It’s like returning to a different time walking around that city. People aren’t compulsively staring down at their phones, or checking their iPads while they eat. I got strange looks when I had to check a map on my device while strolling around. It’s also nice to not see every single child looking at a device while they are out with their parents.

Belgium isn’t perfect by any stretch, but Antwerp is a nice location to visit during the holidays. The Christmas markets, the Cathedral bathed in holiday light,2015-12-12 23.57.46 and a lack of tacky Christmas installations (inflatable yard figures disgust me) make traveling there in December good for the soul. Of course it doesn’t hurt that I’m immersed in kink for the duration of my stay. Most people attend vanilla holiday parties. I was able to visit the Femdomania Party during my stay. Mistress Shane and Mistress Morticia host an amazing  evening of Female Domination at The Fetish Cafe. A lucky slave from Paris attended the party with me. He was by my side as we witnessed male slaves serving their Dominas and prospective slaves vying for the attention of the Ladies in attendance. I was fortunate to have a fellow American to chat with. Domina M graced the event with her presence and we caught up after not having talked in many years. She shared with me that her new home base will be in Paris. How exciting! My worldly travels pale in comparison to where this lady has visited. I made sure to pick her brain and ask her all the questions I have about various locales. I’m delighted that she was more than happy to share tales of her adventures.

I missed seeing the lovely Mademoiselle de S at Femdomia, but at least I was able to share a double session with her at Mistress Shane’s. She is a true Lifestyle Domina that I met through a former client. She has participated in some of the videos I have shot while in Belgium. We are kindred spirits and I love to hear her order her slave about in french. For those who are aware of her, she IS available for double sessions with me when I visit Antwerp. I highly recommend serving a true Lifestyle European Domina. It’s an experience unlike any other.

While I enjoyed my visit immensely, I’m happy to be back in the US. I couldn’t live anywhere else. My travels only assert that the SF Bay Area is my home and probably always will be. There is a reason why everyone wants to live there!

Happy Holidays,

VQ