Tag Archive: mistress


This blog post is dedicated in no small part to Mistress Mara Mayhem. I have learned much from various “Legends of Professional Domination” but I also keep my mind open for advice from those who are not on everyone’s radar. Mistress Mara is a breath of fresh air when it comes to new acquaintances made. Some women I regret ever having met. Not she! One of the aspects of our friendship I am most grateful for is her advice on touring In The World As We Know it.

Back in the “good ole days,” one could announce a trip on a Femdom Forum and your website. The polite inquiries would happen almost immediately and sessions would be booked well in advance of departure. Sadly, those days are basically over. The only men who seem to be able to abide by any type of planning are those in the AARP set. There is nothing wrong with that, but it’s a comment on the state on “younger clientele.” They simply can’t or won’t plan. Thus, what to do? In my case, I listened to someone who has a different perspective on touring.

Mistress Mara has been invaluable not only for destination advice, but also how to wade through the mire of new and often-times last minute applicants. I have to admit I was a wee bit skeptical when she recommended Detroit as a destination. I will admit that it’s quite easy to pay attention to the fear-mongering that the media spews out regarding certain cities in the US: Oakland, Chicago, formerly NYC, etc. Well, I have worked in all of those destinations and never felt unsafe, so Detroit must not be all that bad either, right? Right! Detroit completely exceeded my expectations as a Femdom Destination.

Suffice it to say, both Mistress Mara and I were appreciated in the Motor City. I enjoy traveling with her as we are complimentary to each other. She is a red head and I am a brunette. Hair color matters immensely in this line of work. If you don’t believe me, then just ask “the only blonde Mistress” in any given city how well she is doing and you will have your answer. Mistress Mara and I also share, shall we say, some rather unique interests that shall remain unpublicized. This makes the hours in between torturing slaves fascinating and entertaining. No, get your mind out of the gutter. We weren’t having “hot lesbian pillow fights” in the hotel room. We are far more cerebral than that ,my dear reader.

One of my longest-serving clients also made the trip outstanding. We have been meeting each other all over the country since 2000. Detroit was our latest adventure. He was full of advice of where to dine and what to do. We had amazing seats at Comerica Park

Comerica Park

Great seats for the game!

 for a Tiger’s game and then shared a meal at a world-class steakhouse.

The trip went so well, that I plan on returning with Mistress Mara Mayhem in November. Yes, I plan travel out that far. The dates are set and I will be spending time in not only downtown Detroit, but the suburb of Troy for a few days. The Troy portion of the trip already has interest so I wouldn’t delay on introducing yourself.

I wasn’t home for long before I had to pack my bags again for another trip. This time it was to our nation’s capital: Washington, D.C. Again, I heeded the advice of Mistress Mara Mayhem for this journey as well. I was able to maintain an open mind profit from the result.

Traditionally Washington, D.C. has been a trip of double sessions with Mistress Tyler. Despite my love of working with her, the timing doesn’t always work out for those who want to see us together. Some brave souls WERE able to book us and I had an amazing time tormenting them. There are only a handful of Pro Dommes around the world that I share a professional chemistry with. Mistress Tyler is one of these women (Mistress Mara is the latest addition to these ranks). It’s never a competition when we have a slave to share. It’s truly a complimentary situation that only benefits the male creature under our finger tips. We were able to demonstrate this experience to “lita.”

I’m writing specifically about this session as it filled a void that had been in my BDSM brain since the Sunday before my trip was due to depart. My beloved transformation client (talk about the last of a dying breed), had to cancel our session together. We are only able to meet twice a year or so at this point. This cancelation simply couldn’t be helped, but I was saddened that I was going to miss out on the opportunity to watch his “inner slut” blossom and manifest in front of me. It’s not like there was going to be another transformation on my plate right around the corner…or was there?

lita

lita transformed

I credit Mistress Tyler for coming up with the idea of what to do with lita. To be honest, I was shocked and amazed at the result of applying cosmetics to her eyes and lingerie to her form. The transformation I had been missing, happened before my eyes! In honor of discretion of all parties involved, I’m including a small snippet of the result. I hope to meet lita again on a future trip. She certainly exceeded my expectations!

Sadly, there were MANY eager supplicants who missed out on my DC trip. They either contacted me too early or too late. I will be returning in March 2018 with Mistress Mara. We plan on staying in a hotel suite that will accommodate our kinky tastes and allow us to welcome those who have missed out in the past.

What’s in store for VQ now? I am home for the duration of the summer. If you are local to the SF Bay Area and interested in seeing me, I recommend you contact me asap. The next 90s are going to pass quickly and my regulars have missed me.  For those interested in future destinations, I will be in Chicago in September, London for the Femdom Ball in October, New York after London, Detroit in November, and then Antwerp in December.

In the meantime, I will be in my garden…

VQ's Poppy

Beauty in the garden.

My upcoming visit to Antwerp in April will be tinged with sadness. I have known of “the news” since December 2016, but I kept my word to not discuss it until now. It was then that Mistress Shane informed me that she would be moving from Antwerp back to New York City. Her time in Europe was coming to an end.

I know that many of my readers don’t know of how I first came to travel to Antwerp in the first place. Why there? Why not any other city in Europe? How did my bi-annual trip come about? It seems like now is an appropriate time to share the story.

The year is 2007. I was attempting to promote my DVD business by attending various shows that featured a BDSM theme. Domcon LA and Fetishcon in Florida were two of my destinations. I had heard of the market in Europe but had no idea how to break into it with my Femdom content. I came up with an idea to bring my DVDs to the Venus Fair and entice distributors in person. I purchased my airfare, made my hotel reservation, and crafted my plans to visit Germany to ply my wares.

Unfortunately, this business that I’m in doesn’t breed the best of alliances. People who claim to be friends (for years) often turn on you when their selfish desires get the best of them. That’s what happened with my plans to attend Venus Fair. I’m giving the Reader’s Digest version of the events that transpired. I’ve told the cautionary tale of whom to trust to those who know me personally. Needless to say, I had to cancel my trip after it became apparent that my so-called friend wouldn’t be an ally during the Fair. It just didn’t seem wise to make the journey if the ONE person I was going to know was turning his back on me. I canceled my airfare and hotel reservation, but that wasn’t the end of the story. I had six months to use my ticket credit. Now what? Who did I know in Europe?

I’m usually a fairly risk-adverse person. It’s just my nature. I over-research EVERYTHING and generally don’t do crazy things in my life. I have no idea what got into me, but I decided to take a big chance. I knew of ONE PERSON in Europe. How about  I visit an almost total stranger in a strange country to work? I would travel alone. I wouldn’t know anyone locally. What could possibly go wrong? This was even riskier considering what had recently happened with my so-called friend of many years. What if my host turned out to be a “great friend” like he was and stab me in the back? How did I even know her?

I had met Mistress Shane back in 2006 at the Black and Blue Ball in NYC. I remember her being SUPER nice. She wasn’t the usual bitchy standoffish woman who I have encountered many times at BDSM events. To this day, there are countless Pro Dommes who simply stand and stare at everyone passing by them. They couldn’t be bothered with a simple, “hello”. Not Mistress Shane. She not only exchanged pleasantries, but she invited me to come stay with her and work in Antwerp. It was this brief meeting that I decided to base my trip on. Sure enough, when I emailed her about visiting, she welcomed the prospect and made the experience as seamless as possible.

Nine years later and I have more regulars in Antwerp than I do in the SF Bay Area. Mistress Shane not only turned out to be a great host, but she also became a great friend. We have gone through a lot over almost a decade of visits. We have shared the stories of our lives and torments. We have bounced ideas off of each other. We have bitched and moaned, and laughed and cried. Thanks to Mistress Shane, I am comfortable traveling solo to Europe without batting an eye. I am not only a better Dominatrix thanks to her, but I am a better person.

I will admit that I was sad in a very selfish way when Mistress Shane told me of her impending move. All I could think of was, “Where will I work? Will I be able to return to Antwerp?” I wanted to be happy for her, but it was difficult. My friend was leaving! Ever the consummate professional, she had already researched my next host after she broke the news.  I felt bad for being so self-centered. She was clearly thinking of how to help me out. We used my last visit in December to plan out my next trip and discuss her future in NYC.

Thus, I will continue to travel to Antwerp twice a year. During my next visit, April 8 – 12, I will be hosted by Mistress Morticia. She has a wonderful studio just outside of Antwerp. I am looking forward to seeing my regulars and new clients. These regulars are almost all thanks to the generosity of Mistress Shane sharing her faithful devotees with me in double sessions over the years. I’m also looking forward to visiting Mistress Shane in my favorite city in the future: New York.

Thanks Mistress Shane for helping to create  the European Chapter of my Dominatrix Career. I couldn’t have done it without you!

 

I recently visited Irene Boss at her Pittsburgh location: The Compound. I admit I had a lot of trepidation before embarking on my journey. I had met Ms. Boss at varying points in my career, but I had never spent all that much time with her. I knew she had built a vast business empire, but what would it be like to work with her in person? Nerves ensued as my departure came to fruition.

I don’t want this post to be a maudlin love-fest. No one believes those anyhow. What I CAN say is that Irene Boss puts the P in Professional Dominatrix. She is a rare gem leftover from the Golden Age of Professional Domination. If you THINK you have a good business model as a Pro Domme, it most likely pails in comparison to Irene Boss. I am no stranger to this line of work and know how to do it successfully, but I felt like a kid with a lemonade stand compared to what I witnessed during my stay. It was exciting and humbling to recognize that I still had a long way to go in my career. Ms. Boss enabled me to think outside the box on a number of situations specific to being a Dominatrix. It’s not that I’m doing anything wrong, but there can be another approach on how to handle the curve-balls we encounter from time to time.

I think every business person needs this type of experience at certain points in their career. Unfortunately it’s more difficult to arrange in essentially a grey market area where it can be tough to ascertain authenticity. Yes, there is a convention we can attend to tap into the peer knowledge base, but been there, done that. Most professions have continuing education/certification programs but we Pro Dommes have to often make it up as we go along. Visiting irene Boss was exactly what I needed. It’s not like we sat down and she gave me a mini-class. I was simply able to observe her in action, which is often the only thing a skilled crafts-person needs to soak in knowledge.

Not only is Irene Boss talented but she is also the real deal. She isn’t someone who plays the part of being a Dominant Woman and then reverts to a shrinking violet after a session is over. I didn’t need to experience a fake “voice” that she would coo to her clients (VOM!). Her energy is genuine and a force to be reckoned with. What you see is what you get. I can’t say how often I’ve encountered “so-called Dominant Women” in the Scene, only to find out they simply put on a good act in front of their clients.

I am returning to San Francisco invigorated with a fresh perspective on what I bring to my work and how to do it better. Thank you Irene Boss for allowing me to experience your magnificent world. You have constructed a universe that needs to be experienced at least once in a lifetime.

VQ