9/11 Then and Now

October, 2001

Being from the West Coast, I don’t have the same type of stories as those who lived and worked near to Ground Zero on 9/11. I do have “a 9/11” story, and it’s time to commit it to text. I’ve told it many times and I THOUGHT I had blogged about it, but I guess I was incorrect…

I made my first trip to New York City to work as a Pro Domme back in 2000. Times were certainly different back then! It wasn’t like I could just find a Mistress on social media who advertised a rental space, and set things up for a visit. Nope. There was this thing called vetting. Yes, I’m going to be making a lot of “back in my day” references in this post. Get used to it. I had to research NYC Dominas in DDI (yes, there used to be these things called magazines where we had to place print ads–IMAGINE THAT!). There was a budding website that featured a Domme Directory (maxfisch), but it was still very new. I ended up contacting Mistress Avalon and supplicating myself to her. We used to have to show deference to our Domme Elders. I had to prove to her that I was a valid Domina and that I had a skill set. She didn’t really care about my silly website. She wanted verification that I was a card-carrying member of the DDI Advertisers Club. What I mean by this it was an indication that I understood how to place a print ad in the publication. I think she might have even asked if I had been in more than one edition (they were published quarterly). It was a measure of validation. I totally understand her point of view now. At the time it was frustrating.

My first trip was quite successful and I decided that even though L’Oeil Cache was magnificently equipped, I didn’t want to bow to Mistress Avalon anymore. I sought out a different rental experience.

I ended up negotiating with Mistress Nadine to use her space for my October 2001 visit. She was very down to earth and didn’t treat me like an underling. I booked my airfare and hotel and thought that everything was set. Then it wasn’t.

The morning of 9/11 I found out about the first tower being hit via the radio. The alarm had gone off and that’s how I heard the news. Of course I ran to the television and turned it on to see exactly what was going on. The second tower collapsing is what I saw. If you weren’t alive then, it was something unforgettable to see the massive loss of life on your tv screen. There was nothing you could do but watch in horror.

Like I mentioned at the beginning, I lived in California in the SF Bay Area. I didn’t have any connections to people who lived or worked in Manhattan. I did what everyone else in my area did for the next few days: I listened to the news, read newspapers and generally felt numb about the whole situation.

As time passed, I started to think about my trip that was booked for the latter portion of October. Should I cancel it? COULD I still go? Eventually I made the decision that I would still travel and that this would be important “some day.” Boy was I correct!

Mistress Nadine was very cool about the entire situation. Her space was in Soho and still accessible. We agreed that we should do “something” while I was there to try to aid in the general situation of the 9/11 aftermath. I didn’t know what this was until I arrived though.

She told me that we’d donate a portion of the proceeds of our sessions during my stay to the local firehouse that was in her neighborhood. She knew people there and they were aware of what she did as a Domina. We would present them with a check and commemorate the occasion with a photo-op.

Baby VQ and Mistress Nadine at the firehouse

Not gonna lie, my entire trip was surreal: From my airport experience, to 5th Avenue being entirely empty at night. It was bizarre to visit such a teeming metropolis and see very few people out and about. I stayed at the Hilton in Mid-town. A large number of First Responders were staying there as well.

My sessions went well. I had very few cancellations. Clients wanted a distraction and I did as well! I utilized the proximity to Ground Zero to walk to Lower Manhattan to attempt to see what I could see. So happy I had my camera with me. I will never forget “the smell.” It made the acrid wildfire smoke I have grown used to almost seem pleasant.

Now I find myself returning to New York City, twenty years later. We are in another disaster of sorts, and divided unlike I ever thought we could be. Fortunately, kink unites me and my clients with an unwavering desire to experience our form of reality. The need to submit to the will of a power Domina will never die. I am thankful for this constant in my life.

It will be good to return to New York City after almost a two year absence. I am grateful for colleagues such as Mistress Ariana Chevalier and Mistress Chloe. Now “we” are the ones who are the Domme Elders. Thank you two for providing me a home away from home for so many years now!

The End Of An Era: Mistress Shane Returns To NYC

Mistress Shane & Vinyl Queen torment a slave.

My upcoming visit to Antwerp in April will be tinged with sadness. I have known of “the news” since December 2016, but I kept my word to not discuss it until now. It was then that Mistress Shane informed me that she would be moving from Antwerp back to New York City. Her time in Europe was coming to an end.

I know that many of my readers don’t know of how I first came to travel to Antwerp in the first place. Why there? Why not any other city in Europe? How did my bi-annual trip come about? It seems like now is an appropriate time to share the story.

The year is 2007. I was attempting to promote my DVD business by attending various shows that featured a BDSM theme. Domcon LA and Fetishcon in Florida were two of my destinations. I had heard of the market in Europe but had no idea how to break into it with my Femdom content. I came up with an idea to bring my DVDs to the Venus Fair and entice distributors in person. I purchased my airfare, made my hotel reservation, and crafted my plans to visit Germany to ply my wares.

Unfortunately, this business that I’m in doesn’t breed the best of alliances. People who claim to be friends (for years) often turn on you when their selfish desires get the best of them. That’s what happened with my plans to attend Venus Fair. I’m giving the Reader’s Digest version of the events that transpired. I’ve told the cautionary tale of whom to trust to those who know me personally. Needless to say, I had to cancel my trip after it became apparent that my so-called friend wouldn’t be an ally during the Fair. It just didn’t seem wise to make the journey if the ONE person I was going to know was turning his back on me. I canceled my airfare and hotel reservation, but that wasn’t the end of the story. I had six months to use my ticket credit. Now what? Who did I know in Europe?

I’m usually a fairly risk-adverse person. It’s just my nature. I over-research EVERYTHING and generally don’t do crazy things in my life. I have no idea what got into me, but I decided to take a big chance. I knew of ONE PERSON in Europe. How about  I visit an almost total stranger in a strange country to work? I would travel alone. I wouldn’t know anyone locally. What could possibly go wrong? This was even riskier considering what had recently happened with my so-called friend of many years. What if my host turned out to be a “great friend” like he was and stab me in the back? How did I even know her?

I had met Mistress Shane back in 2006 at the Black and Blue Ball in NYC. I remember her being SUPER nice. She wasn’t the usual bitchy standoffish woman who I have encountered many times at BDSM events. To this day, there are countless Pro Dommes who simply stand and stare at everyone passing by them. They couldn’t be bothered with a simple, “hello”. Not Mistress Shane. She not only exchanged pleasantries, but she invited me to come stay with her and work in Antwerp. It was this brief meeting that I decided to base my trip on. Sure enough, when I emailed her about visiting, she welcomed the prospect and made the experience as seamless as possible.

Nine years later and I have more regulars in Antwerp than I do in the SF Bay Area. Mistress Shane not only turned out to be a great host, but she also became a great friend. We have gone through a lot over almost a decade of visits. We have shared the stories of our lives and torments. We have bounced ideas off of each other. We have bitched and moaned, and laughed and cried. Thanks to Mistress Shane, I am comfortable traveling solo to Europe without batting an eye. I am not only a better Dominatrix thanks to her, but I am a better person.

I will admit that I was sad in a very selfish way when Mistress Shane told me of her impending move. All I could think of was, “Where will I work? Will I be able to return to Antwerp?” I wanted to be happy for her, but it was difficult. My friend was leaving! Ever the consummate professional, she had already researched my next host after she broke the news.  I felt bad for being so self-centered. She was clearly thinking of how to help me out. We used my last visit in December to plan out my next trip and discuss her future in NYC.

Thus, I will continue to travel to Antwerp twice a year. During my next visit, April 8 – 12, I will be hosted by Mistress Morticia. She has a wonderful studio just outside of Antwerp. I am looking forward to seeing my regulars and new clients. These regulars are almost all thanks to the generosity of Mistress Shane sharing her faithful devotees with me in double sessions over the years. I’m also looking forward to visiting Mistress Shane in my favorite city in the future: New York.

Thanks Mistress Shane for helping to create  the European Chapter of my Dominatrix Career. I couldn’t have done it without you!

 

My Obligatory Star Wars Post

While I would love to update the world on my recent trip to Antwerp, I’m no fool. I know that my words will be drowned out by the drum beat of Star Wars fans populating the internet with reviews, images, etc. Thus, I’ll share a personal story from an experience about a decade ago.

I had a trip planned to New York that was to coincide with one of the “new” Star Wars movies. I don’t remember the title or the year, and frankly those details aren’t important. This was in the days before Uber and Airtrain from JFK to the subway. The economical option was a shuttle service to take me to my hotel after my flight arrived. For those who don’t know, I am one of those people who suffer from motion-sickness. I know how to mediate it, but one of the hallmarks of this malaise is yelling “shotgun” every time one gets into a multi-passenger vehicle. This doesn’t work in public places, but instead I do my utmost to sit upfront to see out the windshield. This is how I ended up directly behind the driver when I got into the van.

For those who have never had the unpleasant experience of suffering along in a hotel shuttle to Manhattan, the van starts its drop offs at one end of the island and makes its way up VERY SLOWLY. If you are staying anywhere near Midtown, it’s going to be some time before you’re out. Get ready for a long and jerky ride from hotel to hotel. You will also find yourself alone with the driver eventually. This is what happened in my situation.

As we approached Midtown, traffic came to a crawl. The driver was doing his best to take the least congested route. We ended up on a one way side street that happened to be near a theater where one of the new Star Wars movies was to premier soon. I’m a fan but I’m not a super nerd. I chuckled as we saw the various people dressed up and camping out in tents along the side of the building. I shook my head as we crept along, then eventually stopped. “WHAT NOW?” I thought as my patience was coming to an end. My journey seemed like it was never going to end.

Traffic was halted and there didn’t appear to be any reason. The light ahead was green, so what was the hold up? As I peered from behind the driver, I saw two storm troopers approaching either side of the van. It seemed like they were making up their own traffic control.GREAT. I had NO desire to be drawn into any more fan nonsense than I had already seen. Now I was getting irritated. Yes, it’s a common theme in my life.

The driver was getting frustrated as well and he wanted to figure out what was going on. He rolled down his window (remember doing that?), and looked at the approaching centurions. He started to ask them why they weren’t letting traffic through.

Now sometimes I come with a quick retort that is completely appropriate for the situation at hand. This was one of those moments. I leaned in behind the driver’s head and sternly said to the storm troopers,

“These are not the droids you’re looking for.”

The men in costume looked at each other and waved us on.There was a collective sigh of relief in the van. A few minutes later I was able to FINALLY reach my destination. Needless to say, the driver was grateful for my intervention.

And THAT is my Star Wars story folks! We will return to our regularly scheduled program of Femdom Discussion in our next episode…

VQ