Tag Archive: dungeon

It appears that I must explain, in excruciating detail, the new normal of booking a session with me. Since this is the same situation as most shared studios, hopefully it will help others in understanding why they can’t have last-minute flexibility with their BDSM appointment.

I am taking the bulk of my sessions at the Blackthorn dungeon now. I will be available at the Alchemy Estate, San Francisco in July, but it’s same situation there as well: There are a number of other Dominas and private individuals who utilize these spaces. We all work off of a shared calendar. This calendar is booked on a first-come, first-served basis. If you want to see me for a session, you will need to contact me two weeks in advance to have your pick of dates and times. You are welcome to wait a week out, but availability will be more limited. If you think you can book me the day before, or even 48 hours before your date and time–you will be sadly disappointed. If you book with me and then request to reschedule on the night before or the same day as your appointment, you will also be denied. There simply will not be any space on the schedule for you to have your change accommodated. I don’t know how I can be any more crystal clear on the concept. It doesn’t matter how many times you ask the same question, the answer will be inflexible due to the reality of the calendar: LAST MINUTE REQUESTS CAN NOT HAPPEN.

There also isn’t some sort of VIP or status situation going on, like with your favorite airline. I suppose you could book a last-minute suite at a five star hotel and then I MIGHT be able to see you for a schedule change, but I highly doubt anyone is going to pursue that option–especially when there is such whining and crying over tribute these days. You can’t attempt to throw more money at the situation. These calendars don’t have “hidden time slots” reserved for the equivalent of Global Services or the like. Once a time is booked, it’s booked. There aren’t any special and unique snowflakes on dungeon calendars. You might be a big-shot in your world, but you’re not in mine.

This is also why deposits must be secured in all booking with me now. Despite your best intentions to show up for an appointment, last minute problems just seem to be the rule rather than the exceptions these days. I’m terribly sorry that you are prone to your relatives dying, vehicle accidents, and quick-moving illnesses. It isn’t of my concern WHY you  must cancel or reschedule. I incur a cancellation fee when you this happens so I have to cover myself for the financial loss as well.

Hopefully this post will aid others in understanding the finer workings of professional BDSM studios. When in doubt, reread it.






As I creep ever closer to the 20 year milestone in my chosen profession, it continues to amaze me how much there is to learn. Being a Pro Domme can be an incredibly isolating position if you allow it to be. It’s really up to you to seek out networking opportunities from the appropriate peers. I stress appropriate as the operative word here.

2015 saw me interacting with some of the greats in this industry: Irene Boss, Mistress Precious, Ariana Chevalier, Mistress Tyler, Mistress Troy, and Mistress Shane. Each time I met with these women, I learned something new. These weren’t necessarily ground-breaking moments, but rather different perspectives on topics that weren’t I hadn’t considered for some time. On that note, it has become apparent that I need to update my damned blog more.

I update my social media on a regular basis. It’s easy, simple, and FUN. For those of you who don’t know, I can be found on Instagram, Twitter, and even the dreaded Facebook. Those updates don’t require lots of WORDS and that’s what seems to drive interest from my more erudite fans. Fair enough. I had never wanted to be “that Mistress” who only discusses “this is what I did in my last session.” I have a lot of other things going on in my life, so I’ll be touching on those topics. And yes, there WILL BE more complaining. My last blog post ended up being a royal crock of you know what. You subs have done a pretty terrible job of not being reliable, but so what else is new? That is a story for another day though.

Off to compile my adventures!

Slave r’s Story

Slave r and I met after communicating by email. He was coming to town on business and we arranged a time convenient for us to meet. Rather than go on and on about MY side of the session, I will simply allow his account to describe what happened during that wonderful afternoon:

(The following description and images are circa 2001)

My session scene surrounded a “girlfriend” fantasy. The Vinyl Queen left the room for a few moments for me to prepare. My fantasy scene started assuming that I had met the Vinyl Queen about six months ago at a local club. She was dressed in an outrageous vinyl outfit, which clung, tightly to her curvy body. She is about 5’7’ tall in her bare feet and much taller with her high-high heels. She has a long mane of beautiful black hair that cascades down her back to below a point just above her lower back. Anyway, at the club it was obvious that she was looking for someone to light her cigarette. Since I have an intense smoking fetish, I immediately noticed the beautiful all white, extra long, super thin Capri cigarette delicately held in her perfectly manicured hand. I cautiously approached her and asked if I could light her cigarette for her. Of course she accepted the light. I was so mesmerized by her beauty that I could not speak another word. Well, as you might imagine, the Vinyl Queen could immediately see through me to my submissive core. She could tell that I wanted to ask her out, but due to my submissive nature, could not cough up the courage to engage in conversation with such a beautiful woman. She said, “would you like me to be your girlfriend?” I was floored, here was this beautiful, sexy woman, sexily smoking, asking me to be her boyfriend. Well, I jumped at the opportunity. Over the course of the next six months, I would appear on her doorstep whenever she called me. She was always in charge of this rather unusual relationship. In fact, early on, she told me that she really didn’t have any use for me as boyfriend in the strict sense of the word. But, that I might prove myself worthy by serving her in other ways. She made it clear to me that as her “boyfriend” I would never have sex with her, as I was not worthy to have sex with such a beautiful woman. She also made it clear that I was to not only remain celibate, but I would not pleasure myself in any way unless directed to do so by my Mistress. Well, as our “relationship” progressed, I became accustomed to learning to serve her needs and to put my needs and desires aside. In fact the following details of our recent “date” typifies the status of our relationship.

The Vinyl Queen summoned me to her space. I arrived at the appointed time and was told to go into her dungeon room. I have been conditioned to immediately strip and kneel on the floor to await her arrival. A few minutes later, she entered the room. She looked absolutely stunning. She was dressed in a short black vinyl dress and she also wore a short black vinyl bolero jacket. Her thigh high stockings were sheer black and she wore an awesome pair of knee high black leather boots. The boots were the lace up variety that I so much love because of all of the detail. They had a semi-platform sole and super high-heels. The high quality leather smelled fantastic. Her beautiful jet-black hair cascaded down her back and she smelled wonderful. In private, I call her “Mistress” and she refers to me as her slave. In public, we are girlfriend and boyfriend.

Well, the first thing that the Vinyl Queen did was to place a pair of bondage mittens on both of my hands. These were then buckled together tightly behind my back. In fact, my wrists were pulled so tight behind my back that my upper chest was totally stretched out! This level of constriction of course began to excite me. Well, the Vinyl Queen loves to control me in every way and immediately sensed the need to control my “out of control” genitals. Today she chose a length of leather cord. She expertly wrapped the leather cord under and around my testicles. This placed my testicles and penis in unbelievably tight bondage. My testicles were in fact stretched away from my body and separated by that nasty leather cord. The Vinyl Queen was now in total control of my genitals. That really got my attention. The Vinyl Queen began to tell me that she was going to train me in a few more details today. She also told me that her girlfriends did not believe her when she told them that I was not really her boyfriend, but that I was her slave. She told me that although her friends were always curious as to why I was so attentive to her needs, they still did not believe that the Vinyl Queen really controlled me as a slave. Well, the Vinyl Queen told me that later on, she would provide her friends with some evidence! At this point my head was spinning and I wasn’t sure what she had in mind.

Next, the Vinyl Queen placed a full leather mask over my head. The mask was laced up in back and was very constricting. At least the eyes-holes were left open so that I could take in the visual pleasures of my Mistress. Just to confine me totally, my Mistress now placed a leather posture collar around my neck. This was buckled so tightly that is was impossible for me to move my head in any way – not up, down or side to side. So here I was, on my knees and totally restricted and constrained.

My Mistress then attached a heavy chain to my collar and led me over near a padded table. She hooked my chain to an eyebolt and left me on my knees. I felt so humiliated to be in tight bondage hitched to the wall like an animal. But, I have nonetheless accepted my position as a submissive and I know that I must suffer this type of humiliation for my Mistress. Thankfully I could see my beautiful Mistress in the mirror as she crossed the room to retrieve her cigarettes. Mistress is an incredibly sexy and seductive smoker. There is nothing more exciting than watching her smoke one of her long, all white, super slim cigarettes. Everything from her gorgeous lips, to her beautiful smoky exhales is enslaving. From this point on, she actually smoked continuously during our “date”.

Mistress knows me and my smoking fetish well. In fact, she uses it to enslave me further. She crossed back towards me with her unlit cigarette in her hand. I could see the all white cigarette contrast against her black outfit and beautiful black nail polish. She scolded me for failing to bring matches with me to light her cigarette. Not that I was in a position to light it anyway, since I was in tight bondage. She then forced me to watch her light her cigarette from a candle. She told me that I would have to be punished for my failure to meet her needs. She took a seat above me on the padded table. She looked stunning as she relaxed with her cigarette. Her cigarette ash became longer as she pondered my punishment. At that moment, it seemed to jump out. She told me that she no longer wanted to dirty her crystal ashtrays, so from now on I was to become her Human Ashtray! I was stunned, I could not believe that she would put me through such a degrading and humiliating task.

But, her power and beauty overwhelmed me. Early, I had told her that I would do anything for her just to be near her. She of course used this against me. She whispered, “now, now slave, I want you to be my ashtray. Don’t you think that I’m so beautiful that I deserve to use your mouth as my ashtray if I please?” As she asked her questions, with her hand that held her cigarette, she extended her finger towards my lips and sensuously rubbed my lips. My body ached with a surge of sexual excitement as my lips slowly parted. She inserted her manicured nail into my mouth. I licked her freshly painted nail with my tongue. I could hardly contain my sexual urges as I paid homage to her nail with my tongue. I was in heaven!

Well, I couldn’t argue with her logic or her sensual powers. She was beautiful, and demanding and I was a born submissive. I felt that I had an obligation to serve her needs, so I of course complied. I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue to accept her hot dirty ashes! She then flicked her long hot ash into my mouth. I swallowed and learned another lesson in submission and humiliation. Mistress continued to smoke her long cigarette while I was chained up on my knees like the near worthless slave that I am.

After relaxing with one more cigarette, it was time to learn another lesson. Mistress wanted to change out of her new leather lace up boots and get into another pair of new shoes. She unhitched my chain from the wall and led me on my knees to her comfortable chair. She removed my hands from the bondage mittens and took a seat in front of me. My penis was throbbing with excitement, as I was about to be permitted to touch her luscious leather boots. Mistress told me to lick and kiss her leather boots and to suck on the high heels. I gladly paid homage to those beautiful and aromatic leather boots. I paid particular attention to the heels and the platform soles

She pointed her cigarette at me and sternly told me to listen carefully while she explained how to remove her boots. As instructed, I carefully unlaced her beautiful black leather boots and remove the first one from her foot. I followed up with a precise removal of the second leather boot.

Mistress was concerned about changing her thigh high stockings. She made me gently remove each stocking from her beautiful, shapely legs. It was absolute torture acting as a handmaiden. I was truly just a lowly male serving the needs of his Mistress. My engorged penis was mercilessly bound with that nasty leather cord with no chance of release. I was again humiliated by my servitude to my beautiful and demanding Mistress. Mistress told me that since I was so good at serving as her boot slave, she was going to have me kiss them in public, maybe at a club, or in a restaurant. Although I was shocked, I know that when that time comes I will comply with her wishes.

Mistress then instructed me to place a new pair of super silky stocking on her legs. I carefully rolled each stocking up her legs to a point just under her short black vinyl dress. I was of course careful not to touch my Mistress’s creamy white skin too much as I know that I am not allowed such a pleasure.

Mistress was relatively pleased with my performance. Next, she instructed me to remove her new pair of shoes from a box on the floor. Well, when I pulled the tissue paper away from the top, I was staring at a pair of shoes that were a fetishist’s delight. They were a pair of black patent platform shoes with a 5″ high-heels. They had a buckle strap around the ankle and smelled just luscious. I was permitted the pleasure of placing this new pair of shoes on my Mistress’s feet and adjusted them to the proper fit. Next, she ordered me to pay homage to her new shoes my licking and kissing them. I was again in heaven as I applied my tongue to every surface of her new shoes. I paid special attention to licking the soles clean!

During the entire time as my Mistress’s handmaiden, she continued to smoke her cigarettes and use my mouth as an ashtray. She would interrupt my licking and kissing of her boots and shoes to flick her hot ashes into my mouth. She even threatened to let her girlfriends use me as an ashtray at an upcoming party.

During my handmaiden servitude, Mistress caught me touching by tightly bound penis, which of course is not allowed. She now told me that I would be punished for failing to obey her. She pulled on the heavy chain attached to my posture collar and again led me across the room and hitched me to the wall in a kneeling position. She then placed another pair of bondage restraints on each hand and wrist.

These restrains were made of leather and were similar to an open fingered glove. They had a thick padded leather piece that surrounded the palm and backs of the hand and extended several inches down each wrist. There were two wide leather straps with buckles. One strap went around the palm area and the other around the wrist. They seemed to be the type of restraint used in overhead suspension. I became very concerned that Mistress was going to hang me from the ceiling by my wrists. Mistress always has a way of keeping me off balance as her slave. She then pulled each of my wrists behind my back and buckled these restrains together. Not satisfied with the initial restriction, she found a way to really pull them tight behind my back so I could not move a muscle. My chest was pulled tight due to the pressure on my tightly cuffed wrists. This tight restrain sent a surge of sexual energy through my body. I quivered as my penis again became uselessly and humiliatingly engorged.

Mistress lit yet another cigarette while she surveyed by restrained body. She blew her sexy smoke into my face and said, “slave, there’s just one more thing we need to totally restrain you.” She then pushed an open mouth ring gag into my mouth. Once it was behind my teeth, she buckled it tightly around my head. I know I looked ridiculous as I could see myself in the mirror. I still had the leather hood over my head, with the posture collar and now the gag. Chained to a wall, on my knees with my hands cuffed tightly behind my back and my genitals in tight bondage. All this and my beautiful Mistress, flicking all of her hot ashes into my mouth and blowing her sexy smoke directly into my eyes and face. I just thought to myself, how lucky could I be. Under normal circumstances I would never be this close to such a beautiful woman. I felt completely at ease and content with my role as a slave. I began to drool uncontrollable due to the gag. My warm saliva began to dribble down my chest and onto my bound genitals.

bound slave with hood

Slave r in bondage

hooded slave with ring gag

Hooded and gagged to be Vinyl Queen’s ashtray.

I Want To Be Your Slave

If I had a dime for every time I heard that phrase, Donald Trump would be asking ME for loans. Now that I have branched out into the world of Social Media, I get pestered about contractual slavery on a regular basis. I’m not going to discuss the topic of long distance training here today, but rather the unrealistic expectations of those who are more local to me. To start things off I will directly quote a recent email I received:

“My deerest Queen,
It is with the utmost devotion, respect, and truthful admiration that I write to you.  After reading many of the captions on your website I am truly impressed with
many aspects but most of all your deep understanding of what it means to be a dominant female goddess!  I want to be honest and open as I possibly can in my
reason for writing to you today.  I am 33 yo, a respectful and positive gentleman who has a mostly untapped desire to TRULY serve at your feet as a devotee if that is
something you might be open to.  My urge to be under the spell of a queen is limitless (as far as I know) and am looking for a chance, an opportunity, to meet someone
such as yourself, not as a client mind you but more as a lifetime pet, if qualified. ”

This guy goes on to say how he’s had a few sessions a few years ago, but it’s pretty obvious he thinks he can circumvent the client route. No, he thinks he’s in the “lifetime pet” category.

If you are reading this and you find yourself thinking the same things as this guy, I have some advice for you: DON’T BE THAT GUY.

Now you’re thinking to yourself, “Well what’s wrong with what he wrote? At least he’s being honest with you.” Yes, that’s just it. He’s letting me know that he doesn’t want to be a paying client. He just wants to some how bypass that role and head straight into “lifetime petdom.”

I have news for you guys out: I don’t want a lifetime ANYTHING. That’s why I don’t have any tattoos. I change my mind every couple of years and I can’t stand the thought of being stuck with something that I might not like in a decade or so. Next: I don’t want a frickin’ pet. I have two. They are orange and black and I don’t want anymore animals around the house. Yes, he was referring to something else and I’m getting to that.

Asking a Pro Domme to be her personal/lifetime/non-paying/all purpose soaker-upper-of-her-time is pretty audacious. You don’t know anything about her other than some pretty pictures you’ve seen on the interwebs, and some text that she (or someone else) has written. You might even have viewed some moving pictures of her on that thing we call Youtube. You, being a simple-minded man, are already in love and have made plans in your head to spend the rest of your life serving this amazing woman doing her beck and call. She, however, is not on the same page.

You are NOT a special and unique snowflake. You ARE the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. Yes, I just quoted Fight Club and that’s just one of the many things you don’t know about ME. You don’t really have any idea of who I am as a person, which is what counts the most in ANY relationship. You are just one more guy who has sent a simpering email to me begging to some how not have to pay a red cent to spend inordinate amounts of time with me….Good luck with that bro. In the immortal words of someone whom, I think is one of the lowest people on earth, you have to, “Pay up sucker.”

So now you’re mad and you think I’m all about the money. Trust me, if money were my first motivation, I would NEVER have stuck with this profession. It ranks right along with farming as far as projections for personal wealth versus amount of time and effort contributed to the endeavor. Money makes the world and MY business go round. Even more so, it helps to set you apart from every other no-job-having guy who just wants to be around me.

My advice to anyone who wants to attempt to go the “personal slave” route with an established Pro Domme is this: Skip the email litany and book a session.

Now you are saying, “But I don’t want to spend any money!”

I say, “Too bad.” Here is why you MUST spend SOMETHING in order to advance your cause:

You need to see if you have ANY chemistry with the Mistress in question. If you want to be her personal slave, then it stands to reason that you WILL BE doing some SM with her AT SOME POINT, right? Oh, that’s right. You’re different. You just want “to serve.” <Insert eye roll here> No you don’t. You SAY that to make yourself seem more GENUINE. Now, back to what I was saying before. You need to establish a number of things before you are able to make your pitch to a Pro Domme. Book a session and see how it goes.

This will enlighten you to a number of things. You will get to meet her, spend a short period of time with her, and see if you leave her studio still feeling as energized as you did when your little pecker first got hard when you saw her photos. Speaking of photos, you will also get to see first hand if she even resembles the images on her website. Lots of Mistresses don’t seem to care that their publicly viewed photos don’t look anything like them in person due to weighloss/gain, bad skin, child-birth, hair-color, 10+ years of aging, etc. You will find out about this if you book a session.

Next piece of advice: book another session. Now you’re saying, “NO WAY! I’m not spending THAT MUCH on someone with whom I JUST WANT TO SERVE.” Suit yourself…Here is what you will learn after a second session. You will find out if the first session was just a fluke. Are you still feeling all pitter patter over this Lady? Does she still look as good to you? Does she still seem so completely interesting as a few months ago? If she doesn’t, then you know that you need to move on with your search. If she DOES still seem like someone with whom you’d like to spend a lot of time…read on.

Book another session. Ok, now you’re pissed. This is getting way TOO expensive for your bank account. If you think that is truly the case, stop your search now. Pro Dommes are high maintenance women (and not how you think I mean that). If you’re too broke to worry about less than $1000 going out of your bank account, then you won’t be a good match over the long term. Most Pro Dommes have had enough of their time wasted by unemployed or underemployed potential “slaves.” They want to be around successful men who aren’t worried about spending money on a Lady. This is why you should book that third session–but there is something that you should include with this particular meeting. Politely inquire as to whether or not she will join you for a nice meal after the session. Her response will vary, but IF she agrees, then you will have your first opportunity to see how you two react to each other in public. You will get to see if she eats like a prisoner or she has good table-manners. She will get to see the same of you. Do you act like a gentleman or are you loud and boorish? Do you make the amazing faux pas of ORDERING FOR HER (that’s a whole ‘nother story though)? The most important aspect of your meeting will be IF YOU TWO HAVE ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT. Isn’t that the basis of any good relationship? How do you fill the empty spaces of time? You speak to each other. OH WAIT! That’s right! You JUST WANT TO SERVE SO CONVERSATION IS UNIMPORTANT. Right…<insert another eyeroll here> Since your long-term plan is to live in a box in the garage, you won’t ever have to exchange anything more than a muffled, “Yes Mistress, whatever you say Mistress.” You won’t ever be asked your opinion about anything because you’re just a worthless slave and nothing you say matters…I forgot about that. Moving right along…

Ok, so you have that third session and dinner goes GREAT. As a matter of fact you are even MORE smitten with her now than ever before. You race home and begin to compose a long email to her expressing your desire to become her “lifetime pet.” right?

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (say that like John McClaughlin on the McClaughlin Group)

No, you wait. You wait about a month. Work on your yard. Hit the gym a bit more (you DO go to the gym right???). If after a month you are STILL thinking about this particular Mistress THEN, and ONLY THEN, can you send her a SUCCINCT COMMUNICATION. This will consist of a polite inquiry about whether she needs any help cleaning her studio or doing any small repairs. You stress that you are NOT seeking her time for free, but that you will gladly compensate her for a fee that you two can agree upon. Yes, you still have to pay her.

She might turn down your request and say that she already has a dungeon slave. She might say that her personal slave does that. She also might say that she thinks that most men are lousy at domestic chores and she thinks that you are no different. So now what?

You are certainly entitled to communicate with her more about how you ultimately would like to serve her in a more non-session environment, but be prepared for her to not be amenable. Yes, even after all that time and money she still might say NO. However, you will NOT leave empty-handed because now you will have a PROFESSIONAL REFERENCE. Politely request that if you mention her to other Mistresses when they ask for a reference that she will say something kind about you. This will most likely happen and it is an invaluable tool in continuing your search.

You should expect to wash, rinse, and repeat this process possibly for the rest of your life. Wait. Did I just say, “FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?” Yes, I did. A personal BDSM relationship is one of THE most illusive pairings on this earth. I know men who have been spending the better part of a decade on this effort and are still searching. They are having fun in the process, but they are still ultimately alone.

If you are lucky, you will end up serving a Domina on a limited basis in her studio or MAYBE her residence cleaning and running errands for her. She most likely will never fall in love with you and will only ever view you as a slave–nothing more and nothing less. If you are able to have a relationship like this that lasts for longer than a year, consider yourself lucky. That will mean you haven’t driven her crazy and she enjoys having you around for some reason.

If you haven’t figured out the point of this post yet, then I will spell it out to you. YOU NEED TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE BEFORE YOU START TO SERVE THEM LONG TERM. You also need to figure out a  way to stand out from the already crowded field of applicants. The way to do this was outlined above.

Now there are other options that consist of contacting non-Professionals, but you’re not into that right? You think YOU are something special so you’re going to set your sights on the top of the Dominant Woman Heap. The non-Pro route will most likely yield more results over the long-term, but why should you pay any attention to what I have to say? You’re a slave and you will get what you want…

<insert eye roll here>