Tag Archive: antwerp


My upcoming visit to Antwerp in April will be tinged with sadness. I have known of “the news” since December 2016, but I kept my word to not discuss it until now. It was then that Mistress Shane informed me that she would be moving from Antwerp back to New York City. Her time in Europe was coming to an end.

I know that many of my readers don’t know of how I first came to travel to Antwerp in the first place. Why there? Why not any other city in Europe? How did my bi-annual trip come about? It seems like now is an appropriate time to share the story.

The year is 2007. I was attempting to promote my DVD business by attending various shows that featured a BDSM theme. Domcon LA and Fetishcon in Florida were two of my destinations. I had heard of the market in Europe but had no idea how to break into it with my Femdom content. I came up with an idea to bring my DVDs to the Venus Fair and entice distributors in person. I purchased my airfare, made my hotel reservation, and crafted my plans to visit Germany to ply my wares.

Unfortunately, this business that I’m in doesn’t breed the best of alliances. People who claim to be friends (for years) often turn on you when their selfish desires get the best of them. That’s what happened with my plans to attend Venus Fair. I’m giving the Reader’s Digest version of the events that transpired. I’ve told the cautionary tale of whom to trust to those who know me personally. Needless to say, I had to cancel my trip after it became apparent that my so-called friend wouldn’t be an ally during the Fair. It just didn’t seem wise to make the journey if the ONE person I was going to know was turning his back on me. I canceled my airfare and hotel reservation, but that wasn’t the end of the story. I had six months to use my ticket credit. Now what? Who did I know in Europe?

I’m usually a fairly risk-adverse person. It’s just my nature. I over-research EVERYTHING and generally don’t do crazy things in my life. I have no idea what got into me, but I decided to take a big chance. I knew of ONE PERSON in Europe. How about  I visit an almost total stranger in a strange country to work? I would travel alone. I wouldn’t know anyone locally. What could possibly go wrong? This was even riskier considering what had recently happened with my so-called friend of many years. What if my host turned out to be a “great friend” like he was and stab me in the back? How did I even know her?

I had met Mistress Shane back in 2006 at the Black and Blue Ball in NYC. I remember her being SUPER nice. She wasn’t the usual bitchy standoffish woman who I have encountered many times at BDSM events. To this day, there are countless Pro Dommes who simply stand and stare at everyone passing by them. They couldn’t be bothered with a simple, “hello”. Not Mistress Shane. She not only exchanged pleasantries, but she invited me to come stay with her and work in Antwerp. It was this brief meeting that I decided to base my trip on. Sure enough, when I emailed her about visiting, she welcomed the prospect and made the experience as seamless as possible.

Nine years later and I have more regulars in Antwerp than I do in the SF Bay Area. Mistress Shane not only turned out to be a great host, but she also became a great friend. We have gone through a lot over almost a decade of visits. We have shared the stories of our lives and torments. We have bounced ideas off of each other. We have bitched and moaned, and laughed and cried. Thanks to Mistress Shane, I am comfortable traveling solo to Europe without batting an eye. I am not only a better Dominatrix thanks to her, but I am a better person.

I will admit that I was sad in a very selfish way when Mistress Shane told me of her impending move. All I could think of was, “Where will I work? Will I be able to return to Antwerp?” I wanted to be happy for her, but it was difficult. My friend was leaving! Ever the consummate professional, she had already researched my next host after she broke the news.  I felt bad for being so self-centered. She was clearly thinking of how to help me out. We used my last visit in December to plan out my next trip and discuss her future in NYC.

Thus, I will continue to travel to Antwerp twice a year. During my next visit, April 8 – 12, I will be hosted by Mistress Morticia. She has a wonderful studio just outside of Antwerp. I am looking forward to seeing my regulars and new clients. These regulars are almost all thanks to the generosity of Mistress Shane sharing her faithful devotees with me in double sessions over the years. I’m also looking forward to visiting Mistress Shane in my favorite city in the future: New York.

Thanks Mistress Shane for helping to create  the European Chapter of my Dominatrix Career. I couldn’t have done it without you!

 

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I recently returned from my last working trip of 2015. It’s always a pleasure to head to Antwerp. I’ve been visiting twice a year since 2008, and I have quite a few clients who see me each time I return. This is due in no small part to the tireless efforts of Mistress Shane. I used to exclusively do double sessions with her during my first stays, but now many of those clients will see me solo. She also finds me clients for us to dominate together each visit. It’s convenient that we share the same tastes in activities so I can be assured of compatibility with each new slave I encounter.

Some people return home for the holidays–I go to Antwerp. This might sound silly, but the people I encounter in the studio are like an extended family to me. Some of them have been seeing me professional since 2004. A few have visited me in the United States or other countries in the EU. Since Europe isn’t as riddled with sexual guilt as our Puritan Nation, my clients there have a different relationship with me. They share more about their lives and it’s not “weird” to them. In turn, I know that my discussions with them won’t be peppered all over social media if we should have a falling out. Speaking of social media, one client didn’t seem to know who KK was! How nice that the evil influence of that family hasn’t spread everywhere.

Another big difference between, at least Antwerp itself, and San Francisco is the lack of obsession with screens. It’s like returning to a different time walking around that city. People aren’t compulsively staring down at their phones, or checking their iPads while they eat. I got strange looks when I had to check a map on my device while strolling around. It’s also nice to not see every single child looking at a device while they are out with their parents.

Belgium isn’t perfect by any stretch, but Antwerp is a nice location to visit during the holidays. The Christmas markets, the Cathedral bathed in holiday light,2015-12-12 23.57.46 and a lack of tacky Christmas installations (inflatable yard figures disgust me) make traveling there in December good for the soul. Of course it doesn’t hurt that I’m immersed in kink for the duration of my stay. Most people attend vanilla holiday parties. I was able to visit the Femdomania Party during my stay. Mistress Shane and Mistress Morticia host an amazing  evening of Female Domination at The Fetish Cafe. A lucky slave from Paris attended the party with me. He was by my side as we witnessed male slaves serving their Dominas and prospective slaves vying for the attention of the Ladies in attendance. I was fortunate to have a fellow American to chat with. Domina M graced the event with her presence and we caught up after not having talked in many years. She shared with me that her new home base will be in Paris. How exciting! My worldly travels pale in comparison to where this lady has visited. I made sure to pick her brain and ask her all the questions I have about various locales. I’m delighted that she was more than happy to share tales of her adventures.

I missed seeing the lovely Mademoiselle de S at Femdomia, but at least I was able to share a double session with her at Mistress Shane’s. She is a true Lifestyle Domina that I met through a former client. She has participated in some of the videos I have shot while in Belgium. We are kindred spirits and I love to hear her order her slave about in french. For those who are aware of her, she IS available for double sessions with me when I visit Antwerp. I highly recommend serving a true Lifestyle European Domina. It’s an experience unlike any other.

While I enjoyed my visit immensely, I’m happy to be back in the US. I couldn’t live anywhere else. My travels only assert that the SF Bay Area is my home and probably always will be. There is a reason why everyone wants to live there!

Happy Holidays,

VQ