2020: The Year That Wasn’t

We’ve finally come to the end of one of the worst years in most of our living memory. I’m sure that the youngsters born after 9/11 were completely blind-sided more than the rest of us. My title says that the year “wasn’t” because I did not conduct my business for most of it.

The year started off normal enough. January is usually a month where I don’t travel or do many sessions. It’s slow because everyone has spent their pennies on Christmas. I plan accordingly. I am usually happy for the break.

By March, I was in Detroit. I had been following the budding pandemic in the news, and travel wasn’t considered to be “that bad” yet. I remember watching the daily briefings from my hotel suite. It quickly became apparent that this would be the last trip of the year. Sissy josephine and I shared my last professional session of 2020 during my visit. I shudder at how we dined in a restaurant and went to a bar!!! When I returned home saw how the virus was raging in Detroit, I felt like we had dodged a bullet.

When the initial Shelter In Place orders happened (literally on the day of my return), I didn’t really have a game plan. Who did? As the weeks progressed, I figured I’d try my hand at working remotely–along with the rest of the world. I’d do phone sessions, and webcam sessions, and generate solo content. It would be great! As the younger set likes to say, “Cool story bro!”

You would THINK that putting on makeup and plopping down in front of the camera to do photos and video would be super easy. In theory, yes it is. At issue is that my business model was never based on not being in physical contact with my clients. Niteflirt and other remote aspects of my work have always been an adjunct and not the primary focus. Then I figured out why I was developing such disdain for these types of venture: the lack of curation for potential clients/and quality thereof.

I’m not going to dissect each remote option here, but let me sum things up by stating that I felt like the clients in these venues were the ones calling the shots. I also wasn’t crazy about the types of contact I was receiving. Look, POV clips are not my forte. Asking me to do a webcam session where I tell you how to jerk off is frankly silly to me. You’ve had your penis for much longer than I’ve known you. You are perfectly capable of cranking one out. You don’t need my help, nor do I feel like helping. That’s just me. More power to the women who are adept at this type of thing. I also have a terrible habit of reverting to humor during serious situations. If you’ve had a session with me, you are aware of this. It works when someone is in bondage and experiencing painful situations for me to crack a joke. It’s really not so much during a solo-generated video. I guess you’d say I have a difficult time keeping a straight face. Who’d ever thought a Pro Domme would say that?

This is not to say that wonderful supplicants like sissy josephine or slave joe didn’t have some outstanding webcam time with me. They didn’t ask for anything and let me direct their actions 100%. That’s the way I like it. After over 20 years, I can be picky like this.

The other benefit of having been a Pro Domme since 1997 is that I have acquired a series of benefactors who came through in an unexpected manner! I didn’t ask for their support, but boy did they ever come through. So if you reading this, and you are in that small club, you have my heartfelt thanks. And just like you get benefits from subscribing to public television, there will be perks when I resume sessions for these generous gentlemen. No, not THOSE types of perks. Get your mind out of the gutter. As if!

This pandemic has also shown me the true colors of people who I thought were “better” than this. People I considered friends have shown the world that they are basically selfish and don’t care about their fellow humans. Time to pair the friends list down even further. I’m not sad, just disappointed.

I hope that 2021 is prosperous and less anxious for all. We still need to get through this dark winter, but it will pass. I am hoping to get the vaccine by my birthday in March. We’ll see if that is truly wishful thinking or a reality. In closing, if you are anti-vax (of any type), please don’t ever contact me. I thought you people were dumb before the pandemic. I now KNOW you are just plain old stupid.

Ever Snarky…

VQ

I’ll Stop Complaining When Men Stop Failing

Remember that post I wrote last year about how I wasn’t going to complain for once? You can refresh your memory here. Yeah…well let me tell you about how it REALLY ended up: THE PERSON IN QUESTION WAS ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE I’VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE CAREER. Yes, all caps was warranted in his description. Why am I waiting almost a year to comment? I just wanted to let the many others who have mimicked his M.O. pile up so that I’d have ample reason to COMPLAIN about them.

The whole reason why I posted that entry last year was due in no small part to Mr. I Want To Be Your Footslave. His initial criticisms of me didn’t really mean much to me as these were said at one of my foot parties and I know that sometimes people say things to establish rapport. They want to make it known that they’ve been following your writings, etc. so they make comments about their impressions. He’s not the only person to have ever mentioned how cranky I can be, so I felt it was time to say something nice. Then the reality of what a total and utter waste of my time set in…

He came on like gang-busters bearing gifts of all sorts. To be honest, that rarely happens and ya know what? I’m HUMAN. I like it when people bring me useful items off of my wishlist. Duh. This all came at a price–which it always does, sadly. He felt like he now had “the right” to tell me how to run my business. Yup. You heard me correctly. He was now suddenly an expert on my marketing, photos, and all manner of Professional Domination. He ASSURED me that IF ONLY he could BE THE ONE who took my photos, I could really BE SOMEBODY. I’m sure you can imagine the face I’m making right now. That really wasn’t what turned me off 100% completely to him though. You’d be surprised at how many men attempt to tell me how to run my business. I’m sure they’d pat me on the head at the same time if they could and say, “little lady.” No, it was when he let me know that he really wasn’t into this whole “professional session” thing. No sirree Bob! It was a “turn off” to him to come to see me at my studio. He was basically implying that he wanted to skip ahead to the front of the line and just move right in with me. You know, sleep next to the bed and all that like a REAL Mistress would have him do. Ya know, because he had already been contacted by a LESBIAN couple who were going to LOCK HIM IN A CAGE and make him STAY THERE UNTIL THEY SUMMONED HIM. Yeah, this guy was a real winner.

Whenever something like this happens, Ms. Proverbial Optimist chalks it up to any number of factors and moves on with her life and career:

“That guy really wasn’t serious.”

“That guy was a waste of my time.”

Mind you, I don’t have any expectations from “one-off” client types. They don’t usually attempt to seem like they are anything other than what they are. They want a session. They show up. I might or might not ever hear from them again. No harm. No foul. So you’re probably confused now. I keep stating that I am seeking truly submissive men who will see me on a regular basis. What was wrong with this guy just attempting to speed up the process? That’s not how it works folks. You don’t meet me on two separate occasions and expect to move in with me.

Thus, it’s the guys proclaiming to want to serve “on a regular basis” who frustrate me to no end. Have I attempted to build in a vetting process to figure out who is real? You betcha! Does it work? Not really. No matter how difficult and challenging I make the process to verify their true intentions, 98% of the time they fail. You’re probably wondering, “WHY DO YOU EVEN TRY?” Here’s why:

I’m not just kinky. I’m not just “into BDSM” like I’m into gardening. This is my Lifestyle. I BELIEVE in Femdom as a way of life. I BELIEVE that I can train men to be better.

This isn’t a seminar.

This isn’t a weekend treatment.

Where you are now you can’t imagine what the bottom will be like. (This is Your Life, Fight Club Soundtrack)

I want to see someone on an ongoing basis and watch his submission flower into something beautiful. I want him to understand the happiness in slavery. I hold out hope each time I receive an email expressing such an interest, and each time I am disappointed.

The great Angel Stern once counseled me to NEVER collar a slave again. She warned me that no matter how sincere the man might seem to be, he would panic right before the ritual were to happen and I’d never hear from him again. That it was better to merely extend the “idea” of a collaring to bring someone along, but not scare him away. The sad thing is that I’m not even talking about something as serious as a collaring. Oh no. That option ended years ago for a variety of reasons. Three wear my collar at this point in time. It would basically take the UN meeting with representatives of a foreign galaxy on live television for me to offer that option again. I’m referring to admitting to being submissive, professing exclusivity to me for a period of time, and trusting that my way is superior and right in training.

I’m sure there will be a bevy of responses to this post of the nature: “Oh Mistress, you DESERVE someone as you describe.” “Oh Mistress, I would serve you but I’m SOOO far away.” “Oh Mistress, I would love to serve you but I’m just a poor student living with my parents.” Please save it. Your platitudes mean precisely nothing. It’s all in the showing up.

You guys who live in other states and manage to show up once or twice a year aren’t being looked down upon, but let’s face it. There’s something to be said for “locally sourced submissive men.” That is whom I’m talking about. Someone I don’t have to wait for a business trip to bring around to my doorstep.

I guess I should be so lucky as to count in my service the likes of mucous and slave joe. Those who have been showing up since the early part of this century or before. Those who might not be spouting off their devotion via social media, but who make their presence known with the Gift of Their Flesh. Maybe there are only so many of their ilk to go around and I have had my allotment? I fear that I might have answered my own question regarding the caliber of submissive male applicants. I’ll keep holding out hope that there will be new applicants who will meet my expectations, but I now think it’s not going to happen.

VQ

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, 2014 Edition

Let me start off this rant by stating that I LOVE my work. I would have quit ages ago if I didn’t. With that said, there are certain aspects of being a Professional Dominatrix that can drive someone insane. Thus, today’s topic is all about the time-wasters.

These are the guys who have no intention of ever showing up for a session, but take up time booking appointments. Their existence has only grown with the advent of the internet and the ability to hide behind anonymous email and Skype numbers. Pro Dommes choose to use a variety of techniques to weed out them out. This is why there are application forms, deposits and all sorts of methods to make sure you boys follow your word. Imagine that? Actually doing what you say you will do. Sadly, it seems like very few people in general can do that these days.

Most of my cohorts have chosen to remove their phone contact information from their websites and ads due to this type of behavior. I haven’t wanted to go that route as I understand that sometimes you just can’t make it online to send an email, or maybe your email isn’t secure from prying eyes. Unfortunately, the tipping point for my feelings about being able to reach out and touch me changed last month.

You can thank bobby and chris for their actions. Both of these guys sounded very sincere. They contacted me from unblocked numbers, had reasonable requests, and wanted to book in advance. I gave them both dates and times to call back as a first confirmation. Did either of them call? No. I was frustrated and angry that they had wasted my time. I texted BOTH of them back since they made it obvious that their numbers were available for a call back. bobby didn’t have the favor to reply, and chris–well he clearly forgot he had ever contacted me in the first place. Thanks guys! Now my time isn’t going to be wasted by the likes of you morons ever again.

I’m not going to be explicit about my new scheme, but new callers will find it much more difficult to play phone games. You responsible types will not have any issues as you know how to make an appointment and keep it.