Tag Archive: Pro Domme


This blog post is dedicated in no small part to Mistress Mara Mayhem. I have learned much from various “Legends of Professional Domination” but I also keep my mind open for advice from those who are not on everyone’s radar. Mistress Mara is a breath of fresh air when it comes to new acquaintances made. Some women I regret ever having met. Not she! One of the aspects of our friendship I am most grateful for is her advice on touring In The World As We Know it.

Back in the “good ole days,” one could announce a trip on a Femdom Forum and your website. The polite inquiries would happen almost immediately and sessions would be booked well in advance of departure. Sadly, those days are basically over. The only men who seem to be able to abide by any type of planning are those in the AARP set. There is nothing wrong with that, but it’s a comment on the state on “younger clientele.” They simply can’t or won’t plan. Thus, what to do? In my case, I listened to someone who has a different perspective on touring.

Mistress Mara has been invaluable not only for destination advice, but also how to wade through the mire of new and often-times last minute applicants. I have to admit I was a wee bit skeptical when she recommended Detroit as a destination. I will admit that it’s quite easy to pay attention to the fear-mongering that the media spews out regarding certain cities in the US: Oakland, Chicago, formerly NYC, etc. Well, I have worked in all of those destinations and never felt unsafe, so Detroit must not be all that bad either, right? Right! Detroit completely exceeded my expectations as a Femdom Destination.

Suffice it to say, both Mistress Mara and I were appreciated in the Motor City. I enjoy traveling with her as we are complimentary to each other. She is a red head and I am a brunette. Hair color matters immensely in this line of work. If you don’t believe me, then just ask “the only blonde Mistress” in any given city how well she is doing and you will have your answer. Mistress Mara and I also share, shall we say, some rather unique interests that shall remain unpublicized. This makes the hours in between torturing slaves fascinating and entertaining. No, get your mind out of the gutter. We weren’t having “hot lesbian pillow fights” in the hotel room. We are far more cerebral than that ,my dear reader.

One of my longest-serving clients also made the trip outstanding. We have been meeting each other all over the country since 2000. Detroit was our latest adventure. He was full of advice of where to dine and what to do. We had amazing seats at Comerica Park

Comerica Park

Great seats for the game!

 for a Tiger’s game and then shared a meal at a world-class steakhouse.

The trip went so well, that I plan on returning with Mistress Mara Mayhem in November. Yes, I plan travel out that far. The dates are set and I will be spending time in not only downtown Detroit, but the suburb of Troy for a few days. The Troy portion of the trip already has interest so I wouldn’t delay on introducing yourself.

I wasn’t home for long before I had to pack my bags again for another trip. This time it was to our nation’s capital: Washington, D.C. Again, I heeded the advice of Mistress Mara Mayhem for this journey as well. I was able to maintain an open mind profit from the result.

Traditionally Washington, D.C. has been a trip of double sessions with Mistress Tyler. Despite my love of working with her, the timing doesn’t always work out for those who want to see us together. Some brave souls WERE able to book us and I had an amazing time tormenting them. There are only a handful of Pro Dommes around the world that I share a professional chemistry with. Mistress Tyler is one of these women (Mistress Mara is the latest addition to these ranks). It’s never a competition when we have a slave to share. It’s truly a complimentary situation that only benefits the male creature under our finger tips. We were able to demonstrate this experience to “lita.”

I’m writing specifically about this session as it filled a void that had been in my BDSM brain since the Sunday before my trip was due to depart. My beloved transformation client (talk about the last of a dying breed), had to cancel our session together. We are only able to meet twice a year or so at this point. This cancelation simply couldn’t be helped, but I was saddened that I was going to miss out on the opportunity to watch his “inner slut” blossom and manifest in front of me. It’s not like there was going to be another transformation on my plate right around the corner…or was there?

lita

lita transformed

I credit Mistress Tyler for coming up with the idea of what to do with lita. To be honest, I was shocked and amazed at the result of applying cosmetics to her eyes and lingerie to her form. The transformation I had been missing, happened before my eyes! In honor of discretion of all parties involved, I’m including a small snippet of the result. I hope to meet lita again on a future trip. She certainly exceeded my expectations!

Sadly, there were MANY eager supplicants who missed out on my DC trip. They either contacted me too early or too late. I will be returning in March 2018 with Mistress Mara. We plan on staying in a hotel suite that will accommodate our kinky tastes and allow us to welcome those who have missed out in the past.

What’s in store for VQ now? I am home for the duration of the summer. If you are local to the SF Bay Area and interested in seeing me, I recommend you contact me asap. The next 90s are going to pass quickly and my regulars have missed me.  For those interested in future destinations, I will be in Chicago in September, London for the Femdom Ball in October, New York after London, Detroit in November, and then Antwerp in December.

In the meantime, I will be in my garden…

VQ's Poppy

Beauty in the garden.

Remember that post I wrote last year about how I wasn’t going to complain for once? You can refresh your memory here. Yeah…well let me tell you about how it REALLY ended up: THE PERSON IN QUESTION WAS ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE I’VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE CAREER. Yes, all caps was warranted in his description. Why am I waiting almost a year to comment? I just wanted to let the many others who have mimicked his M.O. pile up so that I’d have ample reason to COMPLAIN about them.

The whole reason why I posted that entry last year was due in no small part to Mr. I Want To Be Your Footslave. His initial criticisms of me didn’t really mean much to me as these were said at one of my foot parties and I know that sometimes people say things to establish rapport. They want to make it known that they’ve been following your writings, etc. so they make comments about their impressions. He’s not the only person to have ever mentioned how cranky I can be, so I felt it was time to say something nice. Then the reality of what a total and utter waste of my time set in…

He came on like gang-busters bearing gifts of all sorts. To be honest, that rarely happens and ya know what? I’m HUMAN. I like it when people bring me useful items off of my wishlist. Duh. This all came at a price–which it always does, sadly. He felt like he now had “the right” to tell me how to run my business. Yup. You heard me correctly. He was now suddenly an expert on my marketing, photos, and all manner of Professional Domination. He ASSURED me that IF ONLY he could BE THE ONE who took my photos, I could really BE SOMEBODY. I’m sure you can imagine the face I’m making right now. That really wasn’t what turned me off 100% completely to him though. You’d be surprised at how many men attempt to tell me how to run my business. I’m sure they’d pat me on the head at the same time if they could and say, “little lady.” No, it was when he let me know that he really wasn’t into this whole “professional session” thing. No sirree Bob! It was a “turn off” to him to come to see me at my studio. He was basically implying that he wanted to skip ahead to the front of the line and just move right in with me. You know, sleep next to the bed and all that like a REAL Mistress would have him do. Ya know, because he had already been contacted by a LESBIAN couple who were going to LOCK HIM IN A CAGE and make him STAY THERE UNTIL THEY SUMMONED HIM. Yeah, this guy was a real winner.

Whenever something like this happens, Ms. Proverbial Optimist chalks it up to any number of factors and moves on with her life and career:

“That guy really wasn’t serious.”

“That guy was a waste of my time.”

Mind you, I don’t have any expectations from “one-off” client types. They don’t usually attempt to seem like they are anything other than what they are. They want a session. They show up. I might or might not ever hear from them again. No harm. No foul. So you’re probably confused now. I keep stating that I am seeking truly submissive men who will see me on a regular basis. What was wrong with this guy just attempting to speed up the process? That’s not how it works folks. You don’t meet me on two separate occasions and expect to move in with me.

Thus, it’s the guys proclaiming to want to serve “on a regular basis” who frustrate me to no end. Have I attempted to build in a vetting process to figure out who is real? You betcha! Does it work? Not really. No matter how difficult and challenging I make the process to verify their true intentions, 98% of the time they fail. You’re probably wondering, “WHY DO YOU EVEN TRY?” Here’s why:

I’m not just kinky. I’m not just “into BDSM” like I’m into gardening. This is my Lifestyle. I BELIEVE in Femdom as a way of life. I BELIEVE that I can train men to be better.

This isn’t a seminar.

This isn’t a weekend treatment.

Where you are now you can’t imagine what the bottom will be like. (This is Your Life, Fight Club Soundtrack)

I want to see someone on an ongoing basis and watch his submission flower into something beautiful. I want him to understand the happiness in slavery. I hold out hope each time I receive an email expressing such an interest, and each time I am disappointed.

The great Angel Stern once counseled me to NEVER collar a slave again. She warned me that no matter how sincere the man might seem to be, he would panic right before the ritual were to happen and I’d never hear from him again. That it was better to merely extend the “idea” of a collaring to bring someone along, but not scare him away. The sad thing is that I’m not even talking about something as serious as a collaring. Oh no. That option ended years ago for a variety of reasons. Three wear my collar at this point in time. It would basically take the UN meeting with representatives of a foreign galaxy on live television for me to offer that option again. I’m referring to admitting to being submissive, professing exclusivity to me for a period of time, and trusting that my way is superior and right in training.

I’m sure there will be a bevy of responses to this post of the nature: “Oh Mistress, you DESERVE someone as you describe.” “Oh Mistress, I would serve you but I’m SOOO far away.” “Oh Mistress, I would love to serve you but I’m just a poor student living with my parents.” Please save it. Your platitudes mean precisely nothing. It’s all in the showing up.

You guys who live in other states and manage to show up once or twice a year aren’t being looked down upon, but let’s face it. There’s something to be said for “locally sourced submissive men.” That is whom I’m talking about. Someone I don’t have to wait for a business trip to bring around to my doorstep.

I guess I should be so lucky as to count in my service the likes of mucous and slave joe. Those who have been showing up since the early part of this century or before. Those who might not be spouting off their devotion via social media, but who make their presence known with the Gift of Their Flesh. Maybe there are only so many of their ilk to go around and I have had my allotment? I fear that I might have answered my own question regarding the caliber of submissive male applicants. I’ll keep holding out hope that there will be new applicants who will meet my expectations, but I now think it’s not going to happen.

VQ

It appears that I must explain, in excruciating detail, the new normal of booking a session with me. Since this is the same situation as most shared studios, hopefully it will help others in understanding why they can’t have last-minute flexibility with their BDSM appointment.

I am taking the bulk of my sessions at the Blackthorn dungeon now. I will be available at the Alchemy Estate, San Francisco in July, but it’s same situation there as well: There are a number of other Dominas and private individuals who utilize these spaces. We all work off of a shared calendar. This calendar is booked on a first-come, first-served basis. If you want to see me for a session, you will need to contact me two weeks in advance to have your pick of dates and times. You are welcome to wait a week out, but availability will be more limited. If you think you can book me the day before, or even 48 hours before your date and time–you will be sadly disappointed. If you book with me and then request to reschedule on the night before or the same day as your appointment, you will also be denied. There simply will not be any space on the schedule for you to have your change accommodated. I don’t know how I can be any more crystal clear on the concept. It doesn’t matter how many times you ask the same question, the answer will be inflexible due to the reality of the calendar: LAST MINUTE REQUESTS CAN NOT HAPPEN.

There also isn’t some sort of VIP or status situation going on, like with your favorite airline. I suppose you could book a last-minute suite at a five star hotel and then I MIGHT be able to see you for a schedule change, but I highly doubt anyone is going to pursue that option–especially when there is such whining and crying over tribute these days. You can’t attempt to throw more money at the situation. These calendars don’t have “hidden time slots” reserved for the equivalent of Global Services or the like. Once a time is booked, it’s booked. There aren’t any special and unique snowflakes on dungeon calendars. You might be a big-shot in your world, but you’re not in mine.

This is also why deposits must be secured in all booking with me now. Despite your best intentions to show up for an appointment, last minute problems just seem to be the rule rather than the exceptions these days. I’m terribly sorry that you are prone to your relatives dying, vehicle accidents, and quick-moving illnesses. It isn’t of my concern WHY you  must cancel or reschedule. I incur a cancellation fee when you this happens so I have to cover myself for the financial loss as well.

Hopefully this post will aid others in understanding the finer workings of professional BDSM studios. When in doubt, reread it.

VQ

 

 

 

As Spring is upon us, my travel schedule is well under way and it’s time to update on where I’ve been and where I’m off to. For those who have very short attention spans, my next trip will be to Irene Boss’ Compound in Pittsburgh, March 17 – 20.

Burt Reynolds with Bandit car.

Burt Reynolds being interviewed at Barrett Jackson, 2016.

January found me in Scottsdale again for the Barrett Jackson Auto Auction. I make a yearly pilgrimage to this event with a long-time client. We are both big auto aficionados. We plan the trip around dining, tourist attractions, and of course The Show. If you serve me consistently throughout the years, this is the reward you are granted: traveling with me for multiple consecutive days. I have to be comfortable around you and know that you won’t act-out in public. I also need to know that you won’t drive me nuts. There has to be somewhat of a personality mesh. Traveling can be stressful, even when the goal is to have fun. I have zero-tolerance for complaining. It’s nice to know that I can walk for hours with a client and he will maintain a consistent demeanor.

A highlight of our trip was happening upon Burt Reynolds as he entered the building. I was able to snap a couple of images as he was being interviewed next to the Bandit car. I was a huge Smokey and The Bandit fan as a kid, and this fulfilled a lifelong dream to see not only one of the vehicles affiliated with the movie, but also Burt Reynolds! He doesn’t move as quickly as he used to, but he certainly hasn’t lost any of his wit and charm.

Cowboy boots and a belt buckle.

Tony Llama boots and a sterling silver buckle for Dress Like A Texan Day.

I made it to Houston in February once again. I visit Mistress Precious for business and pleasure. We work together tormenting our slaves and then have a great time afterward. She is the consummate host. We have new adventures whenever I visit. Our first session involved a repeat customer who wanted to recreate the activity in one of my videos. He was a real sport and brought in a custom CBT board that he hand-crafted at home. He also came armed with six fish hooks that he had ground smooth and polished so they could enter and exit his flesh easily. The idea was we were going to impale his scrotum with each hook and then tie them down to the board. Our lucky slave quickly realized that the folks who appear in BDSM videos are usually a breed apart. They can take A LOT more than the average person, pain-wise. Also, he had brought in a much larger hooks than was used in my video. This added a lot more pain and suffering to the equation. He was a real champ, and we were able to thoroughly pierce him with more needles after the impaling. Unfortunately, I can’t add any images from the session. They were definitely NSFW!!

I was lucky enough to visit Houston during the commencement of the Houston Rodeo activities. I love rodeos. I wasn’t able to stay in Houston long enough to attend any of the events, but I was able to strut about on Dress Like A Texan Day. I brought my old belt buckle and Tony LLama boots to fit in. Of course there were also some other very “Texan” activities to do such as eat delicious BBQ and TexMex food.

I’m looking forward to my next set of travels in March, April and May: Pittsburgh, Washington, D.C., Belgium and Domcon LA. If you’re interested in seeing me at any of these destinations, I recommend contacting me early. My regulars contact me quite early and some trips are already at least 50% booked up!

Fan Poetry

This poem was written by a long-time fan of mine. I have received submissions like this in the past, but the quality has been, ahem, lacking. I really enjoyed this particular composition and deem it worthy to publish:

vqcross2015b

Vinyl Queen and St Andrew’s Cross.

Shadows of the faint whispers

Time and again, she rules, one would say,
Looks that thrill and words that slay;
Her dominance over your mind, body and soul,
A Sign of the shadows of faint whispers.

Her looks sneak within your frail frame,
Her high heel stilettos pierce your face;
Trampled beneath her full-weight,
You’re way too weak to resist.
While, she Cracks her whip to perfection,
You bow down at her feet in absolute submission.
A sign of the shadows of the faint whispers.

She channels the fire within you to submit,
To revel in the joy of obedience and her supreme authority you admit;
She corrects you, disciplines your wayward insolent behavior,
A stroke of her whip and the sting of her tight strong slaps
force you to beg at her feet,
When you lay there waiting by her feet, the clock ticking by the hour, for her permission.

Her tall, dominating, beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, hourglass figure,
Engulfing your entire presence;
A sure sign of the shadows of faint whispers.

Poem Courtesy of @stddevn

As I creep ever closer to the 20 year milestone in my chosen profession, it continues to amaze me how much there is to learn. Being a Pro Domme can be an incredibly isolating position if you allow it to be. It’s really up to you to seek out networking opportunities from the appropriate peers. I stress appropriate as the operative word here.

2015 saw me interacting with some of the greats in this industry: Irene Boss, Mistress Precious, Ariana Chevalier, Mistress Tyler, Mistress Troy, and Mistress Shane. Each time I met with these women, I learned something new. These weren’t necessarily ground-breaking moments, but rather different perspectives on topics that weren’t I hadn’t considered for some time. On that note, it has become apparent that I need to update my damned blog more.

I update my social media on a regular basis. It’s easy, simple, and FUN. For those of you who don’t know, I can be found on Instagram, Twitter, and even the dreaded Facebook. Those updates don’t require lots of WORDS and that’s what seems to drive interest from my more erudite fans. Fair enough. I had never wanted to be “that Mistress” who only discusses “this is what I did in my last session.” I have a lot of other things going on in my life, so I’ll be touching on those topics. And yes, there WILL BE more complaining. My last blog post ended up being a royal crock of you know what. You subs have done a pretty terrible job of not being reliable, but so what else is new? That is a story for another day though.

Off to compile my adventures!

I recently visited Irene Boss at her Pittsburgh location: The Compound. I admit I had a lot of trepidation before embarking on my journey. I had met Ms. Boss at varying points in my career, but I had never spent all that much time with her. I knew she had built a vast business empire, but what would it be like to work with her in person? Nerves ensued as my departure came to fruition.

I don’t want this post to be a maudlin love-fest. No one believes those anyhow. What I CAN say is that Irene Boss puts the P in Professional Dominatrix. She is a rare gem leftover from the Golden Age of Professional Domination. If you THINK you have a good business model as a Pro Domme, it most likely pails in comparison to Irene Boss. I am no stranger to this line of work and know how to do it successfully, but I felt like a kid with a lemonade stand compared to what I witnessed during my stay. It was exciting and humbling to recognize that I still had a long way to go in my career. Ms. Boss enabled me to think outside the box on a number of situations specific to being a Dominatrix. It’s not that I’m doing anything wrong, but there can be another approach on how to handle the curve-balls we encounter from time to time.

I think every business person needs this type of experience at certain points in their career. Unfortunately it’s more difficult to arrange in essentially a grey market area where it can be tough to ascertain authenticity. Yes, there is a convention we can attend to tap into the peer knowledge base, but been there, done that. Most professions have continuing education/certification programs but we Pro Dommes have to often make it up as we go along. Visiting irene Boss was exactly what I needed. It’s not like we sat down and she gave me a mini-class. I was simply able to observe her in action, which is often the only thing a skilled crafts-person needs to soak in knowledge.

Not only is Irene Boss talented but she is also the real deal. She isn’t someone who plays the part of being a Dominant Woman and then reverts to a shrinking violet after a session is over. I didn’t need to experience a fake “voice” that she would coo to her clients (VOM!). Her energy is genuine and a force to be reckoned with. What you see is what you get. I can’t say how often I’ve encountered “so-called Dominant Women” in the Scene, only to find out they simply put on a good act in front of their clients.

I am returning to San Francisco invigorated with a fresh perspective on what I bring to my work and how to do it better. Thank you Irene Boss for allowing me to experience your magnificent world. You have constructed a universe that needs to be experienced at least once in a lifetime.

VQ