Category: BDSM Discussion


The title of this post was misspelled intentionally. It references a word that I use with friends of mine to indicate a type of need in certain individuals. It’s more than just the regular use of “special.” It’s almost infantile in it’s NEED to be the absolute center of attention and desire. Thus, the origin of my use of “speshul.”

I believe that I once thought I was speshul. In the early days of my Pro Domme career, I was naive beyond the pale. There wasn’t social media or even a vast band of veterans to counsel me on my silly thoughts. Only one other Mistress at the location where I worked knew how green I was. I never asked her for outright advice, but she gave it to me when she thought I needed it (thank goddess!). Despite her occasional words of wisdom, I had ideas in my head of how things were going to proceed in my career. When I saw a client for a few great sessions, it NEVER occurred to me that he would see another Pro. I mean, why? We had SUCH great sessions together, why look anywhere else? HA! I told you I was naive!! I chuckle at this sense of being speshul and unique. Of course I was totally hurt and devastated when I learned that, gasp, men have very little capacity for commitment. Yes, I’m making a blanket generalization here. There are few exceptions to the rule…but I digress.

Once I got over myself and figured that every client was just that: someone paying for a service who could see literally anyone under the sun, I was able to move forward with a clear head. Over the years, proclamations of undying fealty were made by those who “seemed” different, but you can guess that they were all mostly liars. Now I understand that they not only wanted ME to feel speshul, THEY wanted to feel speshul…

It’s a lovely idea to want to believe that the Pro Domme you are seeing puts you into a different category. That she wants to “own” you and make you “hers.” That is the epitome of being speshul. You want to be a possession. You want to be talked about and apart from the rest of the rabble you perceive that she doesn’t care about. You want to have a collar, you want to be marked, YOU WANT…Yes, it’s all about what YOU WANT.

I have two slave commandments, and a recently added third:

  1. How can I make my Mistress happy?
  2. How can I be the best slave that I can be?

The newest one is:

I am not allowed to say, “I want.”

The minute I hear this word, I need to re-educate the supplicant in front of me to change his verbiage. For those wanting to be speshul, you need to consider your use of it as well.

WHY should the Pro Domme seeing you make YOU feel speshul? I realize that you think that have done all of these things, and spent all of this money, etc. but, to quote my favorite WWE wrestler:

“IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER!

Now I’m sure that there are those reading this who will cite instances of “Mistress So-and-So’s” collared slave and HE is exclusive to her and HE is speshul. Yes, dear reader, these guys exist–but they are in the minority. I also don’t really count service under five years as being a true sign of devotion. Does anyone here remember the venerable slave james? The man who appeared in many of my videos? The one who everyone thought worshiped the ground I walked on? He made many proclamations. He wanted to be speshul. Annnndddd he didn’t last beyond five years.  It’s simply too easy to SAY a bunch of fluff, but it’s not easy for a man to really buckle down and Do The Right Thing for more than five years.

This is why, if you have been seeing a Pro Domme for less than a year, and you are already discussing how you WANT TO BE HERS, it’s just you wanting to be speshul. Think of her reaction as when a child comes to a parent and says, “I want to be an astronaut when I grow up.” The parent smiles, pats the child on the head, and simply says, “Of course you do dear.” The parent understands the realities and politics of becoming a fully-fledged member of an elite group of scientists. The parent understands that even though the child can end up getting a Ph.D in astorphysics and work at U.C. Berkeley in post-doctoral research, that he/she STILL might never become an astronaut (I briefly dated someone like this). Do they encourage the child? Yes, but they know that ultimately the goal will most-likely not be reached.

So your desire to be speshul is frankly looked upon as a naive understanding of the professional relationship that exists between you and the person you are paying for her time. No, Virginia, there isn’t a Santa Claus. The professional transaction is supposed to keep things honest. It doesn’t mean that we like or honestly care about you. We, as Pro Dommes, can be INTERESTED in you and your sessions while they are happening.

I’m sure there are those reading this who feel that is a pretty harsh statement. It’s not. It’s factual. YOU HAVE TO DO THE TIME FOR ME (or any of my co-horts) TO CARE. Whom do I care about?

mucous: in service since 1999

slave joe: in service since 2000

bill: in service off and on since 2001

This is my short list of locals and is not complete whatsoever so don’t get hurt if your name wasn’t mentioned.

I know there are Pro Dommes out there who are very good actresses. They talk a good game. They toss out collars like they are available from a vending machine. They know that their clients want to feel speshul and they play up on that. Good for them! I have a very small capacity for being untrue to myself.

In closing: I can make you feel unique and paid attention to during our time together. If we mesh via our interests, we will have a good time. You will only be “just another client/sub/insert your category here” though. That status can not change until time–and lots of it has passed. Not just time, but blood, sweat, and tears. Even then, I will be dubious about your expression of commitment. Once you understand this, then we can move forward.

The Ever-Snarky,

VQ

This blog post is dedicated in no small part to Mistress Mara Mayhem. I have learned much from various “Legends of Professional Domination” but I also keep my mind open for advice from those who are not on everyone’s radar. Mistress Mara is a breath of fresh air when it comes to new acquaintances made. Some women I regret ever having met. Not she! One of the aspects of our friendship I am most grateful for is her advice on touring In The World As We Know it.

Back in the “good ole days,” one could announce a trip on a Femdom Forum and your website. The polite inquiries would happen almost immediately and sessions would be booked well in advance of departure. Sadly, those days are basically over. The only men who seem to be able to abide by any type of planning are those in the AARP set. There is nothing wrong with that, but it’s a comment on the state on “younger clientele.” They simply can’t or won’t plan. Thus, what to do? In my case, I listened to someone who has a different perspective on touring.

Mistress Mara has been invaluable not only for destination advice, but also how to wade through the mire of new and often-times last minute applicants. I have to admit I was a wee bit skeptical when she recommended Detroit as a destination. I will admit that it’s quite easy to pay attention to the fear-mongering that the media spews out regarding certain cities in the US: Oakland, Chicago, formerly NYC, etc. Well, I have worked in all of those destinations and never felt unsafe, so Detroit must not be all that bad either, right? Right! Detroit completely exceeded my expectations as a Femdom Destination.

Suffice it to say, both Mistress Mara and I were appreciated in the Motor City. I enjoy traveling with her as we are complimentary to each other. She is a red head and I am a brunette. Hair color matters immensely in this line of work. If you don’t believe me, then just ask “the only blonde Mistress” in any given city how well she is doing and you will have your answer. Mistress Mara and I also share, shall we say, some rather unique interests that shall remain unpublicized. This makes the hours in between torturing slaves fascinating and entertaining. No, get your mind out of the gutter. We weren’t having “hot lesbian pillow fights” in the hotel room. We are far more cerebral than that ,my dear reader.

One of my longest-serving clients also made the trip outstanding. We have been meeting each other all over the country since 2000. Detroit was our latest adventure. He was full of advice of where to dine and what to do. We had amazing seats at Comerica Park

Comerica Park

Great seats for the game!

 for a Tiger’s game and then shared a meal at a world-class steakhouse.

The trip went so well, that I plan on returning with Mistress Mara Mayhem in November. Yes, I plan travel out that far. The dates are set and I will be spending time in not only downtown Detroit, but the suburb of Troy for a few days. The Troy portion of the trip already has interest so I wouldn’t delay on introducing yourself.

I wasn’t home for long before I had to pack my bags again for another trip. This time it was to our nation’s capital: Washington, D.C. Again, I heeded the advice of Mistress Mara Mayhem for this journey as well. I was able to maintain an open mind profit from the result.

Traditionally Washington, D.C. has been a trip of double sessions with Mistress Tyler. Despite my love of working with her, the timing doesn’t always work out for those who want to see us together. Some brave souls WERE able to book us and I had an amazing time tormenting them. There are only a handful of Pro Dommes around the world that I share a professional chemistry with. Mistress Tyler is one of these women (Mistress Mara is the latest addition to these ranks). It’s never a competition when we have a slave to share. It’s truly a complimentary situation that only benefits the male creature under our finger tips. We were able to demonstrate this experience to “lita.”

I’m writing specifically about this session as it filled a void that had been in my BDSM brain since the Sunday before my trip was due to depart. My beloved transformation client (talk about the last of a dying breed), had to cancel our session together. We are only able to meet twice a year or so at this point. This cancelation simply couldn’t be helped, but I was saddened that I was going to miss out on the opportunity to watch his “inner slut” blossom and manifest in front of me. It’s not like there was going to be another transformation on my plate right around the corner…or was there?

lita

lita transformed

I credit Mistress Tyler for coming up with the idea of what to do with lita. To be honest, I was shocked and amazed at the result of applying cosmetics to her eyes and lingerie to her form. The transformation I had been missing, happened before my eyes! In honor of discretion of all parties involved, I’m including a small snippet of the result. I hope to meet lita again on a future trip. She certainly exceeded my expectations!

Sadly, there were MANY eager supplicants who missed out on my DC trip. They either contacted me too early or too late. I will be returning in March 2018 with Mistress Mara. We plan on staying in a hotel suite that will accommodate our kinky tastes and allow us to welcome those who have missed out in the past.

What’s in store for VQ now? I am home for the duration of the summer. If you are local to the SF Bay Area and interested in seeing me, I recommend you contact me asap. The next 90s are going to pass quickly and my regulars have missed me.  For those interested in future destinations, I will be in Chicago in September, London for the Femdom Ball in October, New York after London, Detroit in November, and then Antwerp in December.

In the meantime, I will be in my garden…

VQ's Poppy

Beauty in the garden.

My upcoming visit to Antwerp in April will be tinged with sadness. I have known of “the news” since December 2016, but I kept my word to not discuss it until now. It was then that Mistress Shane informed me that she would be moving from Antwerp back to New York City. Her time in Europe was coming to an end.

I know that many of my readers don’t know of how I first came to travel to Antwerp in the first place. Why there? Why not any other city in Europe? How did my bi-annual trip come about? It seems like now is an appropriate time to share the story.

The year is 2007. I was attempting to promote my DVD business by attending various shows that featured a BDSM theme. Domcon LA and Fetishcon in Florida were two of my destinations. I had heard of the market in Europe but had no idea how to break into it with my Femdom content. I came up with an idea to bring my DVDs to the Venus Fair and entice distributors in person. I purchased my airfare, made my hotel reservation, and crafted my plans to visit Germany to ply my wares.

Unfortunately, this business that I’m in doesn’t breed the best of alliances. People who claim to be friends (for years) often turn on you when their selfish desires get the best of them. That’s what happened with my plans to attend Venus Fair. I’m giving the Reader’s Digest version of the events that transpired. I’ve told the cautionary tale of whom to trust to those who know me personally. Needless to say, I had to cancel my trip after it became apparent that my so-called friend wouldn’t be an ally during the Fair. It just didn’t seem wise to make the journey if the ONE person I was going to know was turning his back on me. I canceled my airfare and hotel reservation, but that wasn’t the end of the story. I had six months to use my ticket credit. Now what? Who did I know in Europe?

I’m usually a fairly risk-adverse person. It’s just my nature. I over-research EVERYTHING and generally don’t do crazy things in my life. I have no idea what got into me, but I decided to take a big chance. I knew of ONE PERSON in Europe. How about  I visit an almost total stranger in a strange country to work? I would travel alone. I wouldn’t know anyone locally. What could possibly go wrong? This was even riskier considering what had recently happened with my so-called friend of many years. What if my host turned out to be a “great friend” like he was and stab me in the back? How did I even know her?

I had met Mistress Shane back in 2006 at the Black and Blue Ball in NYC. I remember her being SUPER nice. She wasn’t the usual bitchy standoffish woman who I have encountered many times at BDSM events. To this day, there are countless Pro Dommes who simply stand and stare at everyone passing by them. They couldn’t be bothered with a simple, “hello”. Not Mistress Shane. She not only exchanged pleasantries, but she invited me to come stay with her and work in Antwerp. It was this brief meeting that I decided to base my trip on. Sure enough, when I emailed her about visiting, she welcomed the prospect and made the experience as seamless as possible.

Nine years later and I have more regulars in Antwerp than I do in the SF Bay Area. Mistress Shane not only turned out to be a great host, but she also became a great friend. We have gone through a lot over almost a decade of visits. We have shared the stories of our lives and torments. We have bounced ideas off of each other. We have bitched and moaned, and laughed and cried. Thanks to Mistress Shane, I am comfortable traveling solo to Europe without batting an eye. I am not only a better Dominatrix thanks to her, but I am a better person.

I will admit that I was sad in a very selfish way when Mistress Shane told me of her impending move. All I could think of was, “Where will I work? Will I be able to return to Antwerp?” I wanted to be happy for her, but it was difficult. My friend was leaving! Ever the consummate professional, she had already researched my next host after she broke the news.  I felt bad for being so self-centered. She was clearly thinking of how to help me out. We used my last visit in December to plan out my next trip and discuss her future in NYC.

Thus, I will continue to travel to Antwerp twice a year. During my next visit, April 8 – 12, I will be hosted by Mistress Morticia. She has a wonderful studio just outside of Antwerp. I am looking forward to seeing my regulars and new clients. These regulars are almost all thanks to the generosity of Mistress Shane sharing her faithful devotees with me in double sessions over the years. I’m also looking forward to visiting Mistress Shane in my favorite city in the future: New York.

Thanks Mistress Shane for helping to create  the European Chapter of my Dominatrix Career. I couldn’t have done it without you!

 

With all of the bandying about of the term “fake news” these days, it got me to thinking about my profession. Unfortunately, fake news has been the norm rather than the exception since social media has taken over all of our lives. Back in the ancient days of print, there wasn’t a lot of real estate in an ad to discuss falsehoods. It was more important to have a great image, contact information, and a few areas of interest to attract attention. Even in the early days of the internet, it was more about having a clear website online than making claims of how great one was.

My how the times they have a-changed! Social media has raised the bar so that the race to stand out has changed the nature of truth. Instead of merely posting images of oneself, now everything has to come with a claim attached. There are those who claim to be THE BEST DOMINATRIX IN (fill in your city here)! There is even someone claiming to be THE BEST DOMINATRIX IN THE WORLD! Not sure where that title is bestowed. I’d love to find out. Really Ladies? The best? By who’s standard? How long have you been around? I have twenty years under my belt and I’ve never claimed to be the best at anything. Where do you get off doing it? There are qualities in this world that can be QUANTIFIED and there are those that can not be. You can not quantify the “best” of Professional Domination because there is no standard for this claim. You might be the best in your own mind, but that’s a different story…

Not only do we have those claiming to be THE BEST of a geographical area, we also have those who attempt to massage the truth with all of their other claims. Gifts are one of these areas where falsehoods tend to abound. Some might be true, and some might be false. We will never know. Did all of those amazon boxes really come to you from a slave, or did you just buy them yourself and claim otherwise? Did that car you’re claiming was a gift come from a client or your boyfriend—who is your so-called slave? I remember hearing the tales of a Pro Domme who regularly posted images of gifts from her vanilla partner and then claimed that various slaves. A wealthy partner is NOT the same as a bevy of clients. Do you see where I’m going with this? Do you get paid in lieu of tribute with items instead of cash? It’s not so impressive then now is it?

Lastly, there are the claims regarding how busy one is. “Coming to YOUR CITY soon! I WILL BE FULLY BOOKED!” No you won’t. Sorry for pulling back the curtain on this one Ladies, but we all know the nature of traveling. The reality of what you claim online and your calendar are two different things. Sometimes you get fully booked, and sometimes you don’t. You just say that you always are because it looks good. Posting your availability for Skype sessions immediately after arriving in town is a sure-fire give away that you aren’t “fully-booked.” True story…The simple math is that during any given time of the year, each city has so many Pros visiting that it’s impossible for all to be booked up due to the nature of our flakey potential clients.

I’m writing this blog post because I know it can be disheartening for newer Pro Dommes to see this crap posted via social media and wonder what they are doing wrong. How come THEY don’t get the cool gifts? How come THEY don’t have all of these clients booking them on their next trip? Take heed Ladies: It’s not all the truth. It’s difficult to maintain one’s integrity in this crazy business, but it CAN be done. Social media buzz is good, but going quiet from time to time can also breed mystery into your activities.

I know I didn’t make any friends with this post. To quote my gamer friends–/care.

VQ

2016-09-17-21-20-54

Vinyl Queen and Mistress Simone out to dinner in Chicago.

I should have updated after I returned from Chicago in September. I should have updated when I returned from New York in October. Now it’s November and I find myself at the Dulles airport with hours to kill. It’s a perfect time to update regarding my recent travels.

Fall kicked off with me visiting Chicago for my second visit ever. I had made a weekend stop back in 2008, but this trip was to be longer and for more than just one client. I had the good fortune of being treated to the services of a chauffeur and kinky ambassador or sorts. I get MANY offers such as this when I travel, but I usually turn them down. It wouldn’t be within my best interests to allow a man I had never met to fetch me from the airport. This person was referenced by a Domme friend, and she vouched for his reliability. I was thankful to not have to schlep my bags onto the train. I don’t MIND it, but after a red-eye, nothing sounds better than being driven somewhere.

I had a fabulous time working with Mistress Simone. It’s always a honor to meet someone who paved the way for other Dommes. I remember seeing her ad in Bitches With Whips before I made the decision to turn pro. She looked so cool and intimidating. If you had told me then that I would some day be working at her studio in Chicago, I never would have believed you. I also had the good fortune of participating in a double session with her. I never know if I’m going to have synergy with another Domme. You can get along perfectly well outside of the dungeon, but not be on the same page with a sub at your feet. We worked very well together and I enjoyed using her facilities immensely.

2016-09-17-16-45-31

Nothing is sacred when I visit an art museum.

It felt like Chicago had been waiting a very long time for my visit. All of the clients who came to see me had a history. They knew of my videos and were totally familiar with my work. One gentleman claimed to have been a fan since he was 25! Others gifted me generously before the trip, and one ardent supporter came all the way from Iowa. Needless to say, I will be returning in 2017.

Chicago wasn’t all work though. Mistress Simone was nice enough to take me out and show me sites that I hadn’t visited during my previous trip. We spent the afternoon at the Art Institute. I was delighted that she had my inner 12-yr old’s sense of humor. Despite serious backgrounds in art, there were lots of giggles when we strolled by the painting to the right. I guess “dick pics” aren’t just a function of the digital age?

My trip ended with a lovely steak dinner. We had worked up quite an appetite walking around earlier in the day. It was delightful to relax and enjoy an outstanding meal with a like-minded Domina.

Onto NYC…

Chicago was great, but NOTHING compares to my favorite city in the world: New York. I will remind my dear readers that I was raised by a native of New York City, and the attitude is very much alive in me. I think that is why I feel so at home whenever I return. I no longer have to deal with the blasted “laid-back” behavior from California. People walk with purpose and MOVE. It also helps that I get to stay with my best friend from childhood whenever I visit.

I find that the Eastern Seaboard clientele appreciate me in a manner befitting of my station. My long nails, fully-fashioned stockings, and leather attire are treasured and valued. I find there to be many more fetishists in New York. I also find the BDSM to be more intense than in the SF Bay Area. With that said, I always enjoy my time at The Parthenon. Mistress Ariana is another Old School Domme who has been around longer than I have. This trip we decided to get out of the dungeon and spend some social time together. We shared a lovely lunch on my first day in The Big Apple. I enjoy Ariana’s company because she is someone who isn’t too “caught up” in this business. She has a very healthy perspective on life. We share many of the same concerns and interest inside and outside the dungeon. It’s also an hoot to sit around the studio in between sessions and hold court with the younger Dommes who utilize the space. Mistress Ariana has taught them well and they all show the proper amount of deference to those who came before them. For her perspective on my visit, check out what she wrote in Her Blog.

I had encountered Mistress Ariana’s slave black pearl in the past, but this was the first time I was able to hang out with him at the studio. He possesses one of the most valuable traits a slave can have: a good sense of humor. The laughs kept coming as Mistress Ariana would intermittently torture and torment him. Yes, I find that type of thing funny folks. I like it when I see men being used for a Lady’s amusement.

NYC wasn’t all work and no play. I had a wonderful time going out and about with a client during the Saturday of my trip. We enjoy walking around Manhattan and taking in new sites every time we meet. We always cap off my visit with drinks and then dinner. We were finally able to get a reservation at Peter Luger in Brooklyn. It was definitely worth the wait.

Last, but not least: Washington, D.C…

Our Nation’s Capital is just filled to the brim with kinky goodness! I’m never disappointed when I visit. I am fortunate to be able to work with Mistress Tyler while I am in town. Some of the clients who used to see me WAY back when, at the beginning of the century, are her local regulars. Imagine that! It turns out that some of these men only made one or two trips to San Francisco on business, and never returned. Now they see me when I am in DC and everyone is happy. I share a great synergy with Tyler as well. I am truly fortunate to have Domme friends like her in the cities that I visit.

I know that there are some who are frustrated I do not advertise solo availability when I am in Washington, D.C. This is due to the lack of a rental dungeon in the area where I stay (Northwest, D.C.). I also travel on the cheap these days and no longer book hotel rooms. I lodge exclusively in “vacation rental” properties. These locations are usually studio apartments with a lot of sound transfer. They are NOT ideal for BDSM. However, there are exceptions to every rule. Thus, if you would like to see me solo during a future trip to Washington, D.C., here are your instructions:

  1. If you are interested in a fetish focused session, you have the best chance of seeing me. Foot worship and trampling are ideal for small locations such as where I stay. You will need to convince me that you are a safe and sane player before I will welcome you as a new client. References and deposits are mandatory for making me feel comfortable with seeing you solo.
  2. If you are interested in a solo BDSM session, you MUST contact me well in advance of a future trip (like NOW–I’m serious). I plan my visits to D.C very far out. If there is a credible requests for a solo BDSM session, I will procure a hotel room to see you. A larger deposit will be mandatory to insure that I’m covered due to a last minute cancellation. We will also need to negotiate regarding what types of equipment I bring with me to insure your session goals can be achieved.

If you wait until I arrive, the chances of seeing me are slim to none. It’s as simple as that.

So where am I headed to next? I will be in New Orleans for Domcon NOLA Nov. 17 – 20. That will be your last chance to see me outside of California before I head to Antwerp in Dec. Catch me if you can!

VQ

Remember that post I wrote last year about how I wasn’t going to complain for once? You can refresh your memory here. Yeah…well let me tell you about how it REALLY ended up: THE PERSON IN QUESTION WAS ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE I’VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE CAREER. Yes, all caps was warranted in his description. Why am I waiting almost a year to comment? I just wanted to let the many others who have mimicked his M.O. pile up so that I’d have ample reason to COMPLAIN about them.

The whole reason why I posted that entry last year was due in no small part to Mr. I Want To Be Your Footslave. His initial criticisms of me didn’t really mean much to me as these were said at one of my foot parties and I know that sometimes people say things to establish rapport. They want to make it known that they’ve been following your writings, etc. so they make comments about their impressions. He’s not the only person to have ever mentioned how cranky I can be, so I felt it was time to say something nice. Then the reality of what a total and utter waste of my time set in…

He came on like gang-busters bearing gifts of all sorts. To be honest, that rarely happens and ya know what? I’m HUMAN. I like it when people bring me useful items off of my wishlist. Duh. This all came at a price–which it always does, sadly. He felt like he now had “the right” to tell me how to run my business. Yup. You heard me correctly. He was now suddenly an expert on my marketing, photos, and all manner of Professional Domination. He ASSURED me that IF ONLY he could BE THE ONE who took my photos, I could really BE SOMEBODY. I’m sure you can imagine the face I’m making right now. That really wasn’t what turned me off 100% completely to him though. You’d be surprised at how many men attempt to tell me how to run my business. I’m sure they’d pat me on the head at the same time if they could and say, “little lady.” No, it was when he let me know that he really wasn’t into this whole “professional session” thing. No sirree Bob! It was a “turn off” to him to come to see me at my studio. He was basically implying that he wanted to skip ahead to the front of the line and just move right in with me. You know, sleep next to the bed and all that like a REAL Mistress would have him do. Ya know, because he had already been contacted by a LESBIAN couple who were going to LOCK HIM IN A CAGE and make him STAY THERE UNTIL THEY SUMMONED HIM. Yeah, this guy was a real winner.

Whenever something like this happens, Ms. Proverbial Optimist chalks it up to any number of factors and moves on with her life and career:

“That guy really wasn’t serious.”

“That guy was a waste of my time.”

Mind you, I don’t have any expectations from “one-off” client types. They don’t usually attempt to seem like they are anything other than what they are. They want a session. They show up. I might or might not ever hear from them again. No harm. No foul. So you’re probably confused now. I keep stating that I am seeking truly submissive men who will see me on a regular basis. What was wrong with this guy just attempting to speed up the process? That’s not how it works folks. You don’t meet me on two separate occasions and expect to move in with me.

Thus, it’s the guys proclaiming to want to serve “on a regular basis” who frustrate me to no end. Have I attempted to build in a vetting process to figure out who is real? You betcha! Does it work? Not really. No matter how difficult and challenging I make the process to verify their true intentions, 98% of the time they fail. You’re probably wondering, “WHY DO YOU EVEN TRY?” Here’s why:

I’m not just kinky. I’m not just “into BDSM” like I’m into gardening. This is my Lifestyle. I BELIEVE in Femdom as a way of life. I BELIEVE that I can train men to be better.

This isn’t a seminar.

This isn’t a weekend treatment.

Where you are now you can’t imagine what the bottom will be like. (This is Your Life, Fight Club Soundtrack)

I want to see someone on an ongoing basis and watch his submission flower into something beautiful. I want him to understand the happiness in slavery. I hold out hope each time I receive an email expressing such an interest, and each time I am disappointed.

The great Angel Stern once counseled me to NEVER collar a slave again. She warned me that no matter how sincere the man might seem to be, he would panic right before the ritual were to happen and I’d never hear from him again. That it was better to merely extend the “idea” of a collaring to bring someone along, but not scare him away. The sad thing is that I’m not even talking about something as serious as a collaring. Oh no. That option ended years ago for a variety of reasons. Three wear my collar at this point in time. It would basically take the UN meeting with representatives of a foreign galaxy on live television for me to offer that option again. I’m referring to admitting to being submissive, professing exclusivity to me for a period of time, and trusting that my way is superior and right in training.

I’m sure there will be a bevy of responses to this post of the nature: “Oh Mistress, you DESERVE someone as you describe.” “Oh Mistress, I would serve you but I’m SOOO far away.” “Oh Mistress, I would love to serve you but I’m just a poor student living with my parents.” Please save it. Your platitudes mean precisely nothing. It’s all in the showing up.

You guys who live in other states and manage to show up once or twice a year aren’t being looked down upon, but let’s face it. There’s something to be said for “locally sourced submissive men.” That is whom I’m talking about. Someone I don’t have to wait for a business trip to bring around to my doorstep.

I guess I should be so lucky as to count in my service the likes of mucous and slave joe. Those who have been showing up since the early part of this century or before. Those who might not be spouting off their devotion via social media, but who make their presence known with the Gift of Their Flesh. Maybe there are only so many of their ilk to go around and I have had my allotment? I fear that I might have answered my own question regarding the caliber of submissive male applicants. I’ll keep holding out hope that there will be new applicants who will meet my expectations, but I now think it’s not going to happen.

VQ

It appears that I must explain, in excruciating detail, the new normal of booking a session with me. Since this is the same situation as most shared studios, hopefully it will help others in understanding why they can’t have last-minute flexibility with their BDSM appointment.

I am taking the bulk of my sessions at the Blackthorn dungeon now. I will be available at the Alchemy Estate, San Francisco in July, but it’s same situation there as well: There are a number of other Dominas and private individuals who utilize these spaces. We all work off of a shared calendar. This calendar is booked on a first-come, first-served basis. If you want to see me for a session, you will need to contact me two weeks in advance to have your pick of dates and times. You are welcome to wait a week out, but availability will be more limited. If you think you can book me the day before, or even 48 hours before your date and time–you will be sadly disappointed. If you book with me and then request to reschedule on the night before or the same day as your appointment, you will also be denied. There simply will not be any space on the schedule for you to have your change accommodated. I don’t know how I can be any more crystal clear on the concept. It doesn’t matter how many times you ask the same question, the answer will be inflexible due to the reality of the calendar: LAST MINUTE REQUESTS CAN NOT HAPPEN.

There also isn’t some sort of VIP or status situation going on, like with your favorite airline. I suppose you could book a last-minute suite at a five star hotel and then I MIGHT be able to see you for a schedule change, but I highly doubt anyone is going to pursue that option–especially when there is such whining and crying over tribute these days. You can’t attempt to throw more money at the situation. These calendars don’t have “hidden time slots” reserved for the equivalent of Global Services or the like. Once a time is booked, it’s booked. There aren’t any special and unique snowflakes on dungeon calendars. You might be a big-shot in your world, but you’re not in mine.

This is also why deposits must be secured in all booking with me now. Despite your best intentions to show up for an appointment, last minute problems just seem to be the rule rather than the exceptions these days. I’m terribly sorry that you are prone to your relatives dying, vehicle accidents, and quick-moving illnesses. It isn’t of my concern WHY you  must cancel or reschedule. I incur a cancellation fee when you this happens so I have to cover myself for the financial loss as well.

Hopefully this post will aid others in understanding the finer workings of professional BDSM studios. When in doubt, reread it.

VQ

 

 

 

Lots of people make this statement to appear glib. I wish that were the case in this post. As of this weekend, my dungeon is now shut down and I will no longer be doing business at that location. Thus, I HAVE left the building.

It was certainly an interesting fourteen years. I opened my studio in 2002, flush with cash and ready to do things MY way. I had grown weary of the situation at “the place under the shoe store” and it’s lax renter policy. I wanted to have all the control over the goings on at a studio. Well I certainly got that, and I learned that it isn’t as great as I thought it would be.

I never wanted to have a location that was a revolving door of renters. I wanted a location that was as private as I could make it. As a child I never learned how to share, and I’m still pretty lousy at it as an adult. I only ever entertained a handful of renters here and there. Some situations ended disastrously and tested my ability to trust others in my field, and others helped me regain that trust. Eventually there was something that I could not battle, and that was math.

Yes, math. You can believe in something as much as you want to, but numbers tell the tale. Eventually my studio became more of a burden than a pleasant workplace. We have all heard the stories of small businesses priced out of the San Francisco commercial real estate market. Now you know another one. It is simply no longer cost-effective for me to remain at my space.

Mind you, I am NOT retiring. Far from it. I will be primarily available in Oakland at the beautiful Black Thorn studio. I am in the process of securing an SF location for business travelers who are unable to make their way across the Bay. I will also be continuing my travel schedule and plying my trade wherever I decide to land.

I would like to open another studio some day, but that is a topic I’d rather not entertain at the moment. I want to enjoy my freedom and see what the future holds before setting down roots again. The math needs to be on my side.

I want to thank those who helped to build my studio and those who recently helped to break it down. I couldn’t have done it without all of that slave labor (literally). I also want to publicly thank Mistress Yuki for being the best renter a dungeon proprietor could ever ask for. It has been a pleasure working with you and I wish you well in your future endeavors.

Thanks folks, it’s been real.

VQ

 

As Spring is upon us, my travel schedule is well under way and it’s time to update on where I’ve been and where I’m off to. For those who have very short attention spans, my next trip will be to Irene Boss’ Compound in Pittsburgh, March 17 – 20.

Burt Reynolds with Bandit car.

Burt Reynolds being interviewed at Barrett Jackson, 2016.

January found me in Scottsdale again for the Barrett Jackson Auto Auction. I make a yearly pilgrimage to this event with a long-time client. We are both big auto aficionados. We plan the trip around dining, tourist attractions, and of course The Show. If you serve me consistently throughout the years, this is the reward you are granted: traveling with me for multiple consecutive days. I have to be comfortable around you and know that you won’t act-out in public. I also need to know that you won’t drive me nuts. There has to be somewhat of a personality mesh. Traveling can be stressful, even when the goal is to have fun. I have zero-tolerance for complaining. It’s nice to know that I can walk for hours with a client and he will maintain a consistent demeanor.

A highlight of our trip was happening upon Burt Reynolds as he entered the building. I was able to snap a couple of images as he was being interviewed next to the Bandit car. I was a huge Smokey and The Bandit fan as a kid, and this fulfilled a lifelong dream to see not only one of the vehicles affiliated with the movie, but also Burt Reynolds! He doesn’t move as quickly as he used to, but he certainly hasn’t lost any of his wit and charm.

Cowboy boots and a belt buckle.

Tony Llama boots and a sterling silver buckle for Dress Like A Texan Day.

I made it to Houston in February once again. I visit Mistress Precious for business and pleasure. We work together tormenting our slaves and then have a great time afterward. She is the consummate host. We have new adventures whenever I visit. Our first session involved a repeat customer who wanted to recreate the activity in one of my videos. He was a real sport and brought in a custom CBT board that he hand-crafted at home. He also came armed with six fish hooks that he had ground smooth and polished so they could enter and exit his flesh easily. The idea was we were going to impale his scrotum with each hook and then tie them down to the board. Our lucky slave quickly realized that the folks who appear in BDSM videos are usually a breed apart. They can take A LOT more than the average person, pain-wise. Also, he had brought in a much larger hooks than was used in my video. This added a lot more pain and suffering to the equation. He was a real champ, and we were able to thoroughly pierce him with more needles after the impaling. Unfortunately, I can’t add any images from the session. They were definitely NSFW!!

I was lucky enough to visit Houston during the commencement of the Houston Rodeo activities. I love rodeos. I wasn’t able to stay in Houston long enough to attend any of the events, but I was able to strut about on Dress Like A Texan Day. I brought my old belt buckle and Tony LLama boots to fit in. Of course there were also some other very “Texan” activities to do such as eat delicious BBQ and TexMex food.

I’m looking forward to my next set of travels in March, April and May: Pittsburgh, Washington, D.C., Belgium and Domcon LA. If you’re interested in seeing me at any of these destinations, I recommend contacting me early. My regulars contact me quite early and some trips are already at least 50% booked up!

Fan Poetry

This poem was written by a long-time fan of mine. I have received submissions like this in the past, but the quality has been, ahem, lacking. I really enjoyed this particular composition and deem it worthy to publish:

vqcross2015b

Vinyl Queen and St Andrew’s Cross.

Shadows of the faint whispers

Time and again, she rules, one would say,
Looks that thrill and words that slay;
Her dominance over your mind, body and soul,
A Sign of the shadows of faint whispers.

Her looks sneak within your frail frame,
Her high heel stilettos pierce your face;
Trampled beneath her full-weight,
You’re way too weak to resist.
While, she Cracks her whip to perfection,
You bow down at her feet in absolute submission.
A sign of the shadows of the faint whispers.

She channels the fire within you to submit,
To revel in the joy of obedience and her supreme authority you admit;
She corrects you, disciplines your wayward insolent behavior,
A stroke of her whip and the sting of her tight strong slaps
force you to beg at her feet,
When you lay there waiting by her feet, the clock ticking by the hour, for her permission.

Her tall, dominating, beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, hourglass figure,
Engulfing your entire presence;
A sure sign of the shadows of faint whispers.

Poem Courtesy of @stddevn